Goodbye 27

I'm 28 today.

I don't think that's old. I'm not afraid of getting old, anyways. There's lots of things to look forward to, and growing old usually comes with wisdom. It'll be nice to finally have wisdom one day! ;)

Dating AND being old. Grrr. That part bites. I think, but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I think I'm verging on Cougar Age at the bars! Yikes. (not that the bars are where I plan to meet guys, but I LOVE dancing and seem to notice that some guys are young enough to be.. uh... kids who actually LIKED Hanna Montana!! eek. )

Cougar Age: anyone younger than half your age plus seven.
So, to a guy who's 20, I'm a cougar! Ew. Guess what's worse-- guys at the bar are 18!!! LOL

But, I'm embracing my cougarness. LOL I think I'm technically called a Puma. Not quite a cougar yet. Phewsh. lol

It was the first year in over 10 years that I woke up on my birthday alone. No one else in my bed. For over 10 years. (a few years before Chris, I has sleepovers with all my friends and stuff) I don't know how I feel about that.

Being born on Hallowe'en has it's perks. People from all over drop by to wish me a happy birthday ALL night! (their words MIGHT come out as "trick or treat", but I know they're meaning "Happy Birthday". Obviously) And I can get away with calling myself a witch and no one argues with me. (Because I know you were ALL thinking that I was soo far from a witch! ;) )

I've had a lot of interesting talks with friends. The GVs last night helped me make these while we had some good, honest and open-hearted conversations, I've talked with EF today where I told her how I was feeling and what's going on with me watching her kids, and had some revealing conversations with few people via emails. This year is going to prove interesting, I'm sure.

You and Your Little Dog Too!

Last night we de-gunktified the five punkins that were sitting on our doorstep for the past three weeks. (We picked them up at Thanksgiving in Creston). Amazingly they weren't rotten, but even more amazingly, we haven't had much bad weather to rot them with.

Pre-pumpkin:
Mid (de-gunktified) Pumpkin: End result Pumpkin: I think this is the first year I've lived in Calgary that we haven't had a big snowfall by Hallowe'en. And this post better not jinx that. Seriously, one year, we were trick-or-treating in FREEZING weather and sliding on the icechunks on the sidewalks. It sucked. There were people in their homes handing out hot chocolate to the parents with the kids!!!

I'm glad it's a mild one this year, as Mimi's costume is slightly thin and won't fit a large coat underneath. She wanted to be a witch this year, so thankfully my mother lives near a clearance store and got her a really, really cute witch costume for a few bucks. Score! I don't know where Meems has even SEEN a witch, but she knows what they sound like!
And it may entirely be possible that she learned it from the way I sound when I'm angry that she's up past her bedtime, but it could just as likely NOT be. muahaha.

So, here's our prep for Hallowe'en.
Costumes: CHECK
Pumpkins: CHECK
Decorations: CHECK
Pumpkin Seeds (washed, dried, seasoned and ready) to Be Cooked Today: CHECK
Too much candy that will NEVER get all handed out.. and will HAVE to be eaten, shamelessly, by yours truly: CHECK CHECK CHECK
One Night Of 8 Gothic WITCHES carving more pumpkins in their traditional GV Hallowe'en shirts: CHECK
(Can you believe I made this shirt years ago? A bit of foreshadowing, much?? :P Other shirts included ones saying, "Witch", "Hallowe'en Apples", "Boo-B", "Meow" and, my personal fave, "Tricks For Treats". hahaha Us 8GVs are gonna rock out with our... frocks out??)

I think that's it, right? What else could a witch want?!

Angel, Did You Eat Something?

Angel, did you eat something???? Yes, I believe you did. It's not snack time-- what did you eat?
OHHHHH, only the dirt from the tree. Awesome.
Dont eat the dirt, Angel.

Wednesday Ws

Who: The dayhome
What: will be empty
Where: oh where have my children gone!?
When: T minus three days!
Why: Aside from losing that one little girl, the two full-timers I have are moving to Edmonton and Friday is their last day. (One of them being Angel. How sad! She's too cute) So, I'll have two part-timers (one drop-in, one twice a week). And I still haven't gotten a hold of EF to tell her that I'm not taking her kids afterall. I left a message for her to call me, but she hasn't. note to self: call her again today. Seeing as things with Chris are still so positive, it could well go into January if not longer. Of course, it could finish tomorrow. But so far, so good. So, I need her not to be here. Anyways. I'm actually kinda excited for a bit of time off, although, I need the money. It'll be nice to have days of just Mimi and I, since she's never really had any one-on-one attention. I've had the dayhome for nearly her whole life. It'll be nice to take her to the zoo, to have naps. LOL And I'll probably find less time to blog seeing as she'll be bored by herself once in a while after ALWAYS having someone to play with and I'll be busy playing barbies and dressup. I printed up more 'ads' for mailboxes and grocery-store bulletin boards, but I hate that part. Let the interviews commence. Blah.

Who: Fatty McBubberson
What: Wants to remind you
When: Today, of course
Where: Wherever you are. Whatever you're doing. Drop everything and commence
Why: Let us remember THIS post. Yes, you read it correctly, today is Chocolate Wednesday. And, for your sharing satisfaction, I have ONLY had four of these. (who cares that it's only 9:30 am... there's no time restrictions for Chocolate Wednesday! lol) I bought our Hallowe'en candy last night, and opened it up first thing this morning! hahaha. Okay, in defence of my lack of control, I opened it to give a peice to the school-kids on their way to school. I was being giving. Yah, that's it. Clearly I would NEVER have alternative, more selfish motives! Geez, what do you take me for!!? :P tee hee. (don't answer that!)


Who: Pessy McPessimistersons
What: should be happy
Where: uh...
When: once hearing this
Why: because I have nothing exciting to blog. So, my life is officially "boring". Boring is good, one anonymous said. So, there you have it. BOw-ring! As requested. :) (by the way, I love this store! And, yes, I recognize that it's not pronounced "BO-ring", but, in my ignorant defence, a bow-tie is pronounced "bo", so I say bow-ring! Don't ask for further explanation. It makes sense to me and my sista, Keeks. And sisters don't have to explain what's funny to them. Clearly. )

GROSGRAIN MINI STORE OPENING NOVEMBER 6!!!!! AND BIG PREVIEW GIVEAWAY!!!!

Mkay, so, blog-friend showed me this site last week, but I was too late for the really pretty dress. But she makes such cute stuff, why WOULDN"T I want it. For Free! Check it out, though. SOO talented!

GROSGRAIN MINI STORE OPENING NOVEMBER 6!!!!! AND BIG PREVIEW GIVEAWAY!!!!

Mars and Venus

I have no news as of late. So, we're gonna talk about my favourite and least favourite subject:
Men.
Can't live with them. Can't live with them.

I think that's how that saying goes. :) Nonetheless, I find women far more fascinating. I mean, if you really think about it, men are kinda boring and dumb. You understand one, you most likely understand most of the others! ;)

My guide to the common Man. I call it, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding A Complete Idiot".

• When a man gets sick, it is inevitable they will become the BIGGEST babies ever! EVER! you wanna talk about how much pain you're in with your headache/tummy ache/hangnail? How about the baby I pushed out???? THREE TIMES. And yes, referring to the babies I pushed out is ALWAYS the kill-all to an argument on pain. I win. Hands down. (and legs up. lol)
• Guys must rearrange their packages. It's in the "I'm a Man and Do Things For Stupid Reasons" handbook (now available free with the purchase of "The Complete Idiots Guide to Understanding a Complete Idiot"). They like to say it's because they're itchy. Or pinched. (??!!) But we know it's because they're worried it's gonna fall off and then they'll only be good to us for lifting heavy things! lol
• Men are easy to please. They want only a few things:
  
  • Sleep. Or else they're the grizzly who was woken in February.
  • Food. Or else they're the grizzly who was woken, HUNGRY, in February
  • TV/Computer/Sports/machines ... pick your poison. Your man has one.
  • Sex.
    'nuff said.

Women, though. Complex, complex creatures. However, I've made things a bit simpler.
I call it, "The Celestial Pursuit: a Guide to Understanding and Loving The Superior Sex"

• It is totally normal and acceptable to pack high-heels for our overnight camping trip, 2 sweaters in July, and an average of three outfits a day. This does not include shoes.
• Which brings me to my next point: shoes have categories. Comfy-ugly, comfy-cute, comfy-danceworthy, comfy-sexy. Hideous-practical, Hideous-stylish (they may be in style, but they're ugly). Stylish-clubbish, stylish-soccermom. And Sexy, which is a whole subcategory in and of itself!
• The junk men keep is just that: junk. Ugly college sweaters that are tattered and, were you to try to put it on, barely makes it to the top of the beer-belly. No, women don't keep junk. We keep treasures. They are NOT junk. Do NOT throw away the classic, oversized, ripped T that an ex-ex-ex-twice-removed gave to us when we were cold at the playground in grade 7 and then we kissed behind the portables. It is NOT the same as your nasty college shirt. And yes, it STILL smells like him.
  
  SOME day I will use that wooden baby-changetable in the basement. I may need to break it down and use it for firewood if I ever find myself homeless and need to cook my ichiban on a fire. Stop making fun of me, because you never know WHAT you're gonna need if you're homeless, and I may think that changetable is more important than other things, okay?
• You're right. You don't deserve us. Most important one to learn.
• If all else fails, chocolate. Let's remember this entry.

I actually *DID* a persuasive essay in grade 10 titled, "The Superior Sex". It was a good one. Went to the Surrey High School Speech Competition Finals. I don't remember totally what it consisted of, but it was good. :) Actually, tidbit about me.. I really enjoyed doing essays/speeches when I was younger. I'd like to say that public speaking is something I'm slightly above-average on. Not exceptional. Just good. As mentioned before, I think it is because I'm an attention hog.

A few things of enlightenment I'm sharing regarding the differences between men and women:

1. If Sin, Kare, Debbi and Ho Ho go out for lunch, they will call each other Sin, Kare, Debbi and Ho Ho. But if Vegan, Chris, Bob and John go out for a pint, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

2. When the bill arrives, Vegan, Chris, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want because it's on sale. This is what we call thrifty.
   

4. A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. Admittedly, some women would not be able to identify a few, either.

5. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Who isn't gay.

6. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

7. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

8. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings, funerals.
   

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Happy 336th Month-aversary

As of 6:38 AM today, I am:

You are 27 years old. You are 336 months old. You are 1,461 weeks old. You are 10,223 days old. You are 245,360 hours old. You are 14,721,638 minutes old. You are 883,298,330 seconds old.

Personally, that's kinda cool. Pointless, but cool, no?

I had a nice weekend. Friday night, Chris and I rented a few movies. We watched "The Lazarus Project", which, I'm not keen to recommend. In case you were wanting to see it. It's just.. 'okay'.

Then on Saturday he played in a volleyball tournament, so I trekked the kids out to cheer him on. It made me want to start playing volleyball. I watched some of the girls on the teams, and I swear, I could keep up to their levels! It would be another thing for us to do together. Or, at least TRY. Maybe I'd hate it. He still has his men's league, too, so I wouldn't be infringing on 'his time'. We'll see. When I'd play, I have no idea! lol maybe we'll just play together and brush up on my skills (BAHAHAHAH, skills! AHAHAHAHA, *tear* man, I'm funny!) before I join a team.

Sunday, LL gave a talk in church. I love watching her grow up- watching her do it all on her own, watching her read, watching her look over at us when it finished for the 'nod of approval'. I love that. So grown-up, and yet, so adorably childlike and innocent.

Wow, this post has NO substance!!

hmmm. uh,, something of substance...

A blogger put this on her site and I totally LOVED it. I've never heard this song, but I liked it. In my bitter-days, this is EXACTLY how I felt!
If I Were A Boy- Beyonce

I looked up the words to this song, and it's another good 'angry' song.
I Don't Care - Apocalyptica





Yep.. That's the substance for the day! lol Enjoy.

Me? A Bookworm?!

I have been given my first award from Lyn at Adventures of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. And no, it's not another request from my best friend F.B.!!

Standing here, award in my hand, a tear on my cheek. I'd like to thank the little people. My family for always putting up with me. My mother. And Kazim from Mac's up the street who always tells me in a sultry, East Indian accent (think Apu on Simpsons) that he wants me and that I should leave my husband. And then tries to hug me. And the other men in the store are jealous of my vivacious attention to Mr. Kazim and all confess their dying adoration to my genuine ability to practically light up a room upon entering it. Mac's has never had it so good. ;P

Right.

ANYWAYS!!!
Here are the rules for accepting the Bookworm Award:

Pass it on to five other bloggers, and tell them to open the nearest book to page 56. Write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences...The CLOSEST BOOK, NOT YOUR FAVORITE, OR MOST INTELLECTUAL!!

Okay, slightly odd. Now, I am NOT looking for brownie points from anyone who feels this DESERVES brownie points, but the nearest book, no word of a lie, is The Book Of Mormon. Again, don't expect it to ever happen again-- my scriptures are NEVER near the computer (they're in the laundry room, truth be told-- hey now, I never said I was good at reading them) but these are Bear's scriptures.

Okay, everyone open your scriptures to page 56. What? You don't have them beside your computer too!??!! lol ohhhh, you don't OWN a Book Of Mormon. No worries, I'll get you one! ;P

Seriously, I'm getting to the point. Okay.
Page 56: 2 Nephi 1:27
"And it must needs be that the power of God must be with him, even unto his commanding you that ye must obey. But behold, it was no he, but it was the Spirit of the Lord which was with him, which opened his mouth to utterance that he could not shut it."

I now pass the torch to five others:
Monkey Claire
DJo D'jour
Carla
Claudine
and Holy Mother Of God

Enjoy your awards! Don't say I never give you anything!

Yep, Candy Fridays, Yo!

It's a GV thing. kinda.
Well, TECHNICALLY, it's a Sin and I thing. But the GVs are in it too.

Let's settle in for storyhour.

Once upon a time, little red ride-the-hood (A.K.A Sin) was eating crazy amounts of Chocolate one Wednesday. (And yes, I make fun of her non-stop in stupid names we give each other, but in reality, she's a great gal :) ) She and I were both trying to lose weight.. correction... She and I ARE both trying to lose weight. When one is trying to lose weight, it's always good to have a friend or support-system to call in those moments of weakness. Which, when it comes to Sin, those weak moments are OFTEN! -She has NO self-control. HAHA. which is why I love her.

ANYwhoodle,
So she called me in her Chocolate-coma, and, in true friend fashion, I did NOT remove the Chocolate. I mean, cummon-- you do NOT take another friend's Chocolate from their hands. It's just rude. And warrants a SERIOUS flogging from said friend and other women worldwide. Do NOT take another friend's Chocolate!!! No, I did not steal her Chocolate, I simply reassured her that on Wednesdays, Chocolate has zero calories. You can eat as much Chocolate as you like and indulge like CRAZY on Wednesdays with NO calories. :) See? True friends know caloric intake of Chocolate on certain days. And, believe you me, some days you do NOT want to eat Chocolate.

Like today.

Nope. Today is Friday. Thus, Candy Friday. You guessed it. Same idea as Chocolate Wednesday, but this time we eat Candy. Well, in all fairness, most of the time we don't ACTUALLY eat Candy, but we like to imagine we were! :D The best Candy for Fridays is hard Candy, because you don't need as much, and, because you usually have to suck on it, it lasts that much longer. Candy Friday came after Chocolate Wednesday (we also have Pizza Monday, and Taco Tuesday, and Milkshake Thursday). Sometimes, but NOT ALWAYS, you can cheat and have Candy AND Chocolate on the same day like in M&Ms (Candy-coated Chocolate), but, really girls, that's just a bit too much, no? (By the way, Fudge is NOT the same as Chocolate. Clearly)

Rules:

1. Chocolate can *and should* be eaten often. Some even believe it should be taken daily!! Indulge, but remember, there are ONLY no calories on Wednesday. Enjoy your Chocolate, women, but don't tell your friends about it on ANY other day than Wednesday. Some women are on certain Chocolate-reduced diets and don't like to hear it.
2. DO NOT SHARE CHOCOLATE!!! Women NEVER share Chocolate. It is against the rules. Stealing another woman's Chocolate results in unmentionable consequences. Have you ever TRIED to steal Chocolate from another woman?? It's dangerous. Fear for your life. A woman scorned, I tell ya, a woman scorned!!!
3. ANY Chocolate the woman desires is acceptable forms of Chocolate. For instance, some women prefer the kind you can break (like me-- that way, you don't have to have the WHOLE thing at once and it makes you feel better about eating the entire thing in one sitting!!), some prefer certain coloured Chocolate over the others (I'm partial to white or light Chocolate, I think black leaves a bitter aftertaste) and some prefer types with fruit or nuts (I'm NOT a fruit girl, but I AM a nut girl. mmm) Oh, and caramel. Yes, I love me some Chocolate with gooey caramel inside!
4. You may share SOME Candy, but in general, women shouldn't *(and don't) share Candy well either. I've been known to share Candy once in a while with ONLY my closest friends, but I, for one, DO NOT SHARE CHOCOLATE!!! I have done that, and I'm NOT okay with it. See rule #2!!!
   
5. Yes, as you may have noticed, Chocolate and Candy are ALWAYS capitalized. Always. It's a rule. Don't fight it.
   

So, enjoy Candy Friday, women around the world!!! And Sin, (and the others who already knew the Chocolate/Candy story- the GVs, some sisters of mine, a few chosen friends)... FYI: I will be enjoying my own Candy today. But if you feel like sharing-- I'm here. :)

MAsTeRCarD'S lAtESt C0mMeRCiAl

One Child in time-out for hurting another child: 5 minutes (one minute per year in age)
One Large Mirror: 80$ from Stupidstore (on sale from $140)
The Amount of Glass one can get on the floor when a mirror that size breaks: 1,000,000 peicesDistance glass travels in said moment: 5 MILES!!
One child in time-out with anger issues who knocks over mirror: Priceless.

Fun fun.

And, today is off to a weird start-
Yesterday, I took two garbage bags from the kitchen out to the curb. Seeing as it was garbage day today, I didn't bother just leaving them in the garage until later that night- that'd be moving things twice, and my mother always told me that was silly. So, I took them right to the curb. At about noon.
Seven pm I went out to take LL selling her mint Girl Guide cookies. Garbage was gone.
????

Gone. As in, not spread all over the place -- nope, disappeared completely!!!
I started to worry about it. But over the night, I started getting all paranoid. What's IN that garbage??? Although most of my bills are ripped up and put in the RECYCLING for shredding, so it's unlikely that any fraud-seekers are going to find anything. But in that OFF chance that they do, it's totally freaking me out!! Who steals garbage?! And, seeing as it's kitchen garbage, they're gonna be slightly disappointed, I'd think. Unless they were WANTING 4 pizza-boxes from the other night. Still. What if something IS in there???

Ooooh, maybe my mighties came and took it off like ants do?! :/

Failed??

I'm in the mood to share funny things. You've probably seen some of them before, but oh well. Props to MC for sending some of these to me! Thanks girl! As seen on the pictures, you can find some really funny ones on the website listed. There's a few good movies too! LOL (check out the failed best man one currently on page 2- hahah)














A few are dirtier than some, but still somewhat funny.