Running Into Things

So, I took the kids out running last night. I figured that I wouldn't be getting much running (or ANY EXERCISE) while I'm with family for the next few nights, so I should take advantage of the 'last night' without houseguests and run. Uncle wasn't home, so with LL and Bear on their bikes and Mimi in the jogger, off we went.

First thing of note: uh, there was a reason I went running after 8. Because, no sooner had I gotten to the end of my cul-de-sac, I was DRIPPING in sweat! It was WAY hotter to run just 2 hours earlier, and it reminded me of why I don't do that! lol

THANKFULLY, the kids did fine. No potty breaks, no complaining. They know the rules so well, and wait at every corner, hop off their seats and walk their bikes across EVERY street. I love that they follow that rule to a T without even complaining or even thinking about it. *pats herself on the back-- yay for teaching them a good thing once in a while! lol*

We're on our regular route, passing some new construction homes. Bear mentions the huge 'mighty machine' and catches LLs attention. She doesn't see the orange mesh set up to warn people of the broken part of the path, and heads STRAIGHT into it, bike and all. Really really funny, but not at the same time. Of course, she's bruised her leg pretty badly, but I was grateful there was no bleeding or scratches. She tells me she's grateful for helmets. lol I don't know how she managed, but it took me a few minutes to try and untangle her bike wheel from the orange mesh.

Then, kisses and booboos taken care of, we continue on our path. The playground is just ahead. This is the playground that is DIRECTLY behind the house we built. The one that EF bought off of us.

As we approach the playground, EF's daughter is there. She comes running towards me, "DEBBI!!!!!!" and jumps up into my arms to give me a hug. I miss her. She starts babbling about everything (swimming lessons, blah blah blah) like she ALWAYS does, and I somewhat continue down the pathway. She says, "You can come over to my house if you want". Funny, for a BRIEF moment, I felt like saying, "you mean MY house!?"... but I didn't. lol Then, she goes, "well, my Dad's home though, so I think you can't come over to my house".
????? interesting.

EF comes out of her backdoor, shouts "Hey stranger!" I wave, and walk over to her gate. She and I ended up talking for about 1/2 hour while the monkeys played at the park. It was a really nice chat, and I saw a few differences in her. In the course of our chat, I did let her know that she wasn't the only one Chris cheated on me with, and I think that made her feel a lot better because she nearly grew an inch after removing what could have literally been a tangible weight off her shoulders. We talked a bit about him, we talked a bit about how I was doing, and how she and her man were doing. And we talked about me taking her kids, which seems to still be happening, it's just now a matter of WHEN?

I find it funny that when I'm not around her, I'm nervous or anxious or slightly annoyed by the thought of seeing her. But once I see her and talk to her, things are perfectly normal. Really. I had to get going on the run before it got too much later, so I told her what her daughter had said about me coming over to her house. I mentioned that maybe EFs daughter knew more about stuff than she thought she did, and they may want to watch what they say because apparently EFs daughter's ears were bigger than they knew! She thanked me for telling her about it. lol I think its' funny. We hugged and I took off on my run.

Got home. Uncle and Kannie were there. Bathed the kids and then sent them to bed, and ended up going for a walk with my girlfriends after all. (hadn't planned on going because I hadn't planned on having childcare!) Although it was a shorter walk, it was still nice.

So, that was my eventful evening of running into situations unexpectedly. Surprisingly, it was really pleasant. Well, except for LL running in the barrier, which, sadistically, STILL puts a smile on my face!! lol

Last Post?!

I don't know how much I'll be posting in these next few days- Possibly the entire week. Just so you know. Awww, wipe those tears away. lol No worries, I'll make this one a gooder. lol

I had a good weekend. Friday night I spent at home, being lazy and sleepy. Went to bed and slept in. lovely! Saturday I ventured out into the mall!!! THE MALL!~! what am I thinking? On a Saturday, no less. Turned out to be awesome!!! I forgot that 'the MALL' is a crazy world of interesting people and fun things to look at. I love people watching, observing families and singles and couples and employees. My especially fave? Security guards who feel important. They're hot. lol

I had only one pair of pants that I can wear-- I actually have 3 pairs, but 2 I don't wear as often. So, I took off to grab some new jeans, specifically. It was SUPER fun-- tried on pants after pants after pants...different cuts and styles and colours..fun. I was excited to try on 6s!! SIZE 6! From a 16. That was a great feeling. So, there I am, comfortably in the 6s, when, just for FUNNNN, I asked the employee to get me 4s. Because the 6s were perfect, but because they had some stretch to them, I knew that in a week of wearing them, I'd hate them because they'd be all stretched out. I've bought pants from this store before, and that's EXACTLY what happened.

Enter employee with size 4s. start knees shaking. Fear creeping up into my throat-- will this be a bad idea? Will I leave the store with NOTHING but a bad self-esteem? Will I be able to get them ON, let alone- if I get them on, WILL I GET THEM OFF!? (haha, could you imagine-- 'uh, excuse me, but I can't get your pants off'. LOL)

My hands slowly raise the pants up my thunder thighs. What's this?? They got up?
Can I do up the zipper? Oooooh, I CAN!
And, now for the torturous part-- turn around and check out the butt---

AHHH!! They fit! They look good!

DANCE OF JOY-- I'm in a friggen 4!! I LIKE the look of the 4s! And I'm not poured into them!!! Do you know how happy I was about that!? Yes, yes, they're stretch 4s, but whatever!

So, that was a GREAT start to my shopping afternoon. Bought a few other things, but in general stayed clear of shirts. haha. I DID buy a zip-up hoodie. As I'm trying it on and pulling it 'out' to make fake big boobs... the manager asks if I need help. Isn't that a million dollar question. Luckily for me, she was referring to needing help with the clothes, not needing the MENTAL help that I probably LOOKED like I needed. LOL Soooo, I told her I needed to be sure that the shirt would fit over a boobjob- hey, I'll never see her again and could care less what she thinks about that. As it was, she was a DD herself, so SHE OFFERED to try it on to show me how it would fit if I was as large as her. (*which was FRIGGEN huge, so I knew that if it fit her, it would DEFINITELY fit me after my job). So, hoody now hangs lovingly in my closet. And I love it.

It's like this, but not.

Went to Japanese food/sushi with a girlfriend. Then out to a movie. Which was SUCH a good girl-night, and I got home at 1:30 am.

Church was church. Had a GREAT dinner (intruding on a friend and her family)- by invitation of course. Then Chris dropped off the kids.

We got talking.
It was the BEST talk ever. As in, I told him EVERYTHING about everything. I confessed to reading his journal (don't ask-- there was a reason for that) and about how I'm annoyed with his 'games' and such. It was nice to get some clarification on his MO, and, surprisingly, I even REasked his opinion on my dating! I felt strong enough to hear whatever he had to say.

Turns out, what he had to say was humourous to me anyways. Nothing I wouldn't expect an ex to say. I found it refreshingly nice to not have anything left unsaid and to be able to express my own opinions on his actions lately without being rude or upset or anything. It was sooo nice.

So, this week ROCKS. I mean, yes, I'll be spending a fortune on gas, but it's worth it. Today is my 'get it ready' day, because tomorrow my one sister arrives with her 5 kids for a day or two. Thennnn, the day they leave, my other sister arrives with her babe and hubby and I make trip one to the airport. They leave a day later, but during that day I trek to the airport for trip two to pick up my OTHER sister and her hubby. They also leave that night. The next day (we're on Friday, in case you're following along) my brother arrives and I make trek THREE to the airport. Somewhere in that, my OTHER sister arrives by bus, which may or may not entail a trip downtown to the bus depot. In case you don't know (likely you don't), a trip to the airport is about an hour of driving. FUN FUN. And yes, in case you didn't ALSO know, I will be shuttling the dayhome kids with me for 2 of those trips. lol

Thennn, Friday I take off with my full van for a family reunion I am SOOOO excited for. I LOVE love love family functions, and we haven't all been together for years! So I'm thrilled. yes, there's usually some sort of drama, but I'm hoping it doesn't happen tooo badly. I bet it'll be during photos-- that's the only 'stressful' thing of the weekend, so that's my bet. Not that I WANT that, but I assume that's what's to expect.

Me and my sisters.. one of my all-time faves of us.

So, as you see, I may not blog much this week. But I will be back next week, (if not before) to post lovely pictures and opinions on whatever else has gone on in life! lol Stay tuned.

Friday rocks.

And Yellow ones-- because they're super cool and pretty. Why is it that certain flowers really make me smile, whilst others just annoy me? (like peonies or Marigolds!?)

So, last night was entertaining and good. I had 'issues' with getting Chris served, which actually put me in a pretty crappy mood, as we had set everything up and then he decided he was too drunk to come get them. GRRR. Then he called later and was feeling fine, so he decided to come after all. Then the paperwork was worded incorrectly, and he and I decided that instead of just 'leaving' the issue alone, we'd rather have it done the way we talked about. So now the paperwork is back with my lawyer.
Annoyed that I can't start the ball rolling, but I also would rather fix things NOW than have to deal with the issues later. And we want them done in certain ways (read: type of custody and legal wording)

Then GV night was at my place-- a bonfire. Always a hit. Especially when one GV brings coloured thingies to change the colour of the flame. OOOOOHHHH, preettttyyyy! lol

I just got back from the Tim Horton's Mediator. I was really upset that I arrived 1/2 hour late- STUPID downtown construction and traffic and parking and trains and and and. So, she was worried it'd be an interview that doesn't cover everything. Instead, she seemed pleasantly surprised that I had taken the course, and that every question she asked seemed to match Chris' answers too. She actually was HAPPY with everything I told her, reassured me that fixing the papers now was a better idea than progressing another way, and complimented the two of us on our communication and maturity in dealing with issues that most people aren't comfortable discussing. So, it was a nice validation for me.

Now a weekend with no kids. none. not one. Wow. I mean, THIS is what my regular day looks like. HAHA, and I get PAID to do this! :)

Now I'm on to "me mode" for the weekend.

Scars Fade

I was up 15 minutes earlier today. And I don't know why, but that 15 minutes REALLY made a difference-- I am so sleepy this morning. Now that I've been up for two hours, though, I'm feeling better.

Went for a walk last night, in spite of the 'iffy' weather, thanks to Sin's man who came over to watch my sleeping brood. Normally I walk in a tanktop, so it was a good thing I decided to go with my sweatshirt... As we got to the FARTHEST part of our walk, the rain came down and HotCher's shoes were SLOSHING before too long! ;) We were all little drowned rats by the time we walked through my front door. Took me a while to warm up after taking off 100lbs of soaking clothes! But you know what? A) it wasn't snow!!! (Airdrie got snow yesterday!! WTFreek?!) and B) the conversation is always worth it, last night being no exception!

My girlfriend JUST got her B@@bapalooza done, so I got some REALLY good info from her via internet (she's still in Salt Lake, recouping.) I am a bit afraid- she had to get the lift and the job in order to get the results she wanted. Knowing her, (and knowing me), I'll likely end up with the same dilemma, which really worries me. For one, the cost raises about 2 grand!! AHHH! I really really really don't want to spend an additional 2Gs! But, more importantly, for two... I don't want the "lollipop" scarring. One of my girlfriends got the lift done a while ago and reassures me that the scars arent' noticable.. and I know the scars will fade, but I think I'll be MORE self-conscious about the scarring than I would be if I DIDN'T get the boobjob done at all and kept my 'crappy' breasts. I went online and checked out a bunch of before and after shots... sizes and placements of implants and all that.

Wanna know exciting news? Chris will be served tonight.

Wednesday Ws

Who: Me
What: forgot
Where: sitting here at the computer
When: this morning
Why:.. well, technically, it's still a 'what' question.. I forgot it was Wednesday! Which means my last post was supposed to be a Wednesday W post.
So, to my adoring fans...
get over it. :) We will resume regularly scheduled programing tomorrow.

Lillies and Sillies

Day-vee day-vee, weird and clazy, how does your galden glow!? (You gotsta imagine my hostfamily in Japan saying this to me to really "get" my super-awesome phonetical accent. haha)

Yah, baby-- it grows like this.Yep! Love love love the lillies in my front yard. I could have a whole garden of lillies and be in heaven! :)

Sweet peas!! (They're technically my NEIGHBOUR'S garden, but they grow on the mutual fence, and because the sun is on MY side of the fence, they tend to grow towards me, more. :) )
And my hostas bloomed for the first time this year! There's, like, 7 stalks of blossoms! I'm happy about that!!

Two pictures of these ones-- they are the COOLEST flowers.

And nothing better than daisies!! :)

In other news, (read: divorce-life news) I am more determined that Chris has an issue that he'd LIKE to talk to me about, but isnt'. Continuing from yesterday's post on his odd 'dating' conversation, it goes a little something like this. He came over to watch the kids while I was at an appointment last night. When I got home, I checked the phone for messages, knowing that the walking girls would be waiting for me to tell them if I'm in or not for the night's walk. He, smugly, says that the phone's been ringing non-stop all night. Then he says, "and I think your boyfriend phoned".

Okay. First:????????
and then: !!!!!!!!!!!

I laughed out loud. "Uh. What??" "Your boyfriend. I think he phoned." Again with my amused laugh. "I don't HAVE a boyfriend. So that would be pretty impressive if he phoned me." LOL

He tried to tell me that a friend I have is whom he was talking about. I mentioned this friend to him ONCE, and since then, he's convinced we're dating. Which is OBVIOUSLY bugging him, because this is also the same friend I may have a date with once I'm single, which Chris ALSO knows about. But there's nothing to report on that just yet, (for ONE) and that friend doesn't even live in the same province as me, (for two) so his comment was funny to me. I guess this barely-there friendship is really bothering Chris. Why else would he mention his own 'numerous' dates, tell me he has an opinion about ME dating (IN A FEW MONTHS!) and then make some lame comment that isn't true to try to get a rise outta me.

But the worst is still to come, as he gets ready to leave.
"I'm gonna be busy for the months of August, September and October." (he's referring to work)
This is me missing the connection as to why I'd care....*shrugs*"Okay."
"So, I thought you should know."
Again...uh..confused... *shrugs* "Okay."
"well, I won't see the kids that much. If there's a weekend or something that I can't take the kids, you'll know why".
Ahhhh, now I get it -we're covering our butt. Making more sense, seeing as he knows that 'date' of mine could be happening during those months.
*shrugs* "Okay."
silence. Maybe he was trying to pick a fight. ??
"well," he continues, " I may not be seeing them during the week much either." And I simply reply, "Okay. But you know, it's not me that would care." (referring to it being the kids that would care, because, let's be honest, in my head, I'm not depending on him to do much ANYTHING) He shrugs, and walks out the door.

?? just me, or was that an attempt to get me riled up??

My Two Dads

I ran last night.
And I'm paying for it today--
my KNEE KILLS!!!!! :(
It WAS nice to have THREE new walkers with us last night. I think we scared one away-- but she doesn't get off that easily. One of these days, she'll decide that push-ups aren't toooo horrible, hey Ally? The conversation when we have new girls is always a bit muted, but in a few more days, things'll be back to the crazyness that they usually are. Love it.

On other notes, Chris met with the Tim Horton's mediator yesterday. He said it is a 'meeting to have a meeting'... well, how nice we're wasting EVERYONE'S time! lol He said she seemed a little surprised that we had talked about certain things that, apparently, not many couples talk about. One being how long after dating someone do you expect the each other to wait before introducing the children to the new person? Chris and I talked about that a while ago. (in case you care, our mutual decision was 6 months)

But Chris said there was only one thing we have never discussed... what does any future spouse get called by the kids? Is 'Dad' and 'Mom' a title reserved solely for Chris and I? My opinion is that no child ever died by having two Dads, or two Moms. That, the new person would be called whatever the kids wanted to call them... by name? By Dad? By whatever THEY wanted. I mean, let's look at it this way: Mimi will have only lived with Chris for the first two years of her life. If I remarry in, let's be totally unrealistic, even a year, she'll have 16 years until adulthood with a new 'father-figure' in her home. Do I expect her not to love him like a father? Absolutely not. I have no problems having Chris' future wife (if so be the case) called Mom because that only means good things to me; my kids are comfortable enough with her to call her that, she's earned that name with them, and they feel loved by her like a mother loves her children. Really, I don't lose.


Okay, gonna share, but I don't really expect people to care.
(ooh, I'm a poet, and don't know it!-- haha, yah, really mature Debbi! lol)

Chris makes a point of telling me 'I have a date'. Like, I've asked him to come watch the kids while I have an appointment tonight. He made a point of telling me that he's on a date tonight, but he'll try to move it up so he can get over here. My opinion?? Uh, why does he have to tell me it's a date?? This is a CONSTANT ocourance. Last night I also heard about a date he was on, and it wasn't like I asked him about it-- not even in the slightest!! But he needs to tell me about his dates. Quite frankly, I'm finding this somewhat juvenile. First off, if I was on a date, I wouldn't be telling him about every single one. And really, this isn't an isolated event-- he tells me about his dates that are either planned or have happened all the time. I don't ask. I've learned from one past experience that I don't want to know (and neither do I NEED to know, nor is it my business). In comparison, I told him a while ago about a date that's 'set up' in a few MONTHS (once paperwork is likely done) as my "first" date single... and he says, "I have an opinion about that". I just giggled to myself, and, bravely, ask him what it is. This could be good. :/

He doesn't say. So I reassure him that I ASKED for his opinion, 'go ahead and let me know what you're thinking.' "no no, I can't say". As if it's all polite of him to keep it to himself. Uh.. didn't HE bring up the fact that he HAD an opinion!? lol Yah, that's mature: I have an opinion, I'm gonna TELL you I have an opinion, but when you ask me about it, I'm gonna act like I don't want to tell you my opinion! lol So, instead, I drop it.

I could tell that bothered him. (Almost as much as it's bothering me, but in a different way). I also know that that isn't the end of that conversation. I will not be asking again. But I KNOW, the day that he knows that date is gonna happen, I'll hear his opinion. And it'll bother me and ruin the date. Soooo, I won't be telling him about it. Which is weird to most people, because most of you would have decided that long ago. Not me. I don't keep secrets. So this'll be a new 'leaf' in my relationship with Chris- I know. I'm slow like that.

Everybody Needs A Friend

So, here it is, another week of regular (cough*CRAZY*) life a la Debbi. Yep, 11 kids each day. This is a new adventure for me, however, since MORE of them are school-aged than not. Usually I handle 11 kids under the age of 5. Today, only 3 nap! Oh the calamity! lol

We did the whole soccer-camp thing again this morning. Which is still, I repeat, the BEST program for the bucks spent! The older kids were this week. EF and her daughter weren't there. I can only assume that means they are not coming, or have forgotten. Either way, it didn't ruin my day that they weren't there. Then again, it wouldn't ruin it if they were. Just putting it out there. No, I don't have a point. lol

Surprisingly I'm not BUSHED today- I only got about 4 hours sleep. You won't believe it, but I'm being stalked! LOL (Hi HotCher-- :P) A girl whom I've never met but reads this blog knows a friend of mine, so she and the friend came over last night to, uh, meet me. :/ Yep. Being stalked. lol Actually it was a GREAT time, with lots of good conversation and it's ALWAYS great to make new friends. I have actually been making a LOT of new friendships in the past few months, a thing I'm truly thankful for! On top of that, I've deepened many friendships, and I have the desire to continue deepening more friendships I think I could really benefit from, and hopefully the benefits aren't one-sided for them either. I think, after everything with EF, I really learned what friendship means to me and the type of friend I need, and the type of friend I WANT TO BE (more importantly).

Being Sunday yesterday, my thoughts are mostly centred on church-related things. For those who DON'T know me, I spend the majority of my day in some sort of religious supplication. Last night, when kids were in bed, I started watching The Passion Of The Christ last night with Uncle and Kannie. I hadn't seen it before, but saw this video on Youtube and thought I'd like to see the entire movie. Borrowing it from V, we started it up (before I was visited by HotCher and her Ally) and a thought came into my head.

It's one thing to say "Jesus died for me". It's more of a thing to say "He suffered in Gethsemane for me, He atoned for me". But to make it TRULY personal is a really interesting thing. Judas, one of his BEST friends, betrayed Him in the worst way possible. Jesus didn't have many friends, so for ONE of them to so blatantly betray his friend to His face, I was humbled to know that *MY* issue was NOTHING in comparison to others.

So, my good friend, Kenneth Cope, (yah, right.. I WISH! lol) has another song that came to mind today. Again, can't find it on Youtube. But the chorus goes:

"Everybody needs a friend that they can count on.
Everybody needs a friend who's true.
Everybody needs a friend who believes in them.
Wouldn't it be great if that friend were you?"

Enough said.







(OOOOH, look what I just found! "BROKEN"! If you didn't read THIS blog entry, you won't know what I'm talking about.. So go read it, then follow THIS link!!!)

Save Me From Myself

You know some days when you just can't stand yourself? Like, seriously!? I seem to be in that 'day' for the past FEW days! lol Like, I feel like a chicken with her head cut off. (and on a total random side-note-- check out this link!)

I work all day on my lists of things I need to get done and yet, by the end of the day, I can't think of a single thing I got done?! I feel like I can't get ahead of myself. Like I can't get organized. I feel like I'm going crazy.. or something!

I thought it was stress-related. But that doesn't make too much sense, because there hasn't really been any 'changes'. But, once I think about it further, I have decided that there could be a FEW reasons for this unease in my head:

• The papers are actually filed. Like, FILED!
  
• The boob job is actually BOOKED.
• I lose a dayhome child today (which means money changes)
• EF and I still have to discuss September and if her kids are coming here. If not, I need to advertise for more full-time kids again.
• My walking this week?? Monday night only! And that walk was an HOUR less than normal, so not even a full 'walk'.

The Papers
Yes, maybe I'm stressed because it's now actually 'real'. I'm not sad about it. Not even in the slightest. But it's kinda that, "wow. This is real" feeling. Like a shocked feeling. But not in a sad way. I want that to be perfectly clear. NOT in a sad way. A scary way, more like it.
Why scary? Because it's the start to the end of an old life that I was familiar with. A new life begins after that, a life I don't know what to expect. It's scary for me. And with all of that, I think about dating.
I went out for dessert the other night with a good girlfriend of mine. We sat and talked, and she helped me to evaluate a few things I hadn't thought of. Like dating and future marriage. I'm actually AFRAID of dating. I'm afraid of kissing someone else-- I have kissed the same guy for 8 years. I know how he worked, I know what he moved like, I know what he liked. I know he knew the little stretch marks on my body were from which child. And then I remember that he didn't find me attractive, which makes me nervous. If the man who SAW those stretchmarks happen, who witnessed me birth those bundles of joy couldn't see those stretchmarks as badges of honour but more like the war-wounds that my selfconscienceness saw them as, how could someone ELSE think any differently?? I know it's pathetic, but it scares me into thinking that someone else who didn't SEE those stretchmarks 'grow' will only see them as the scars that they are.

The Boobs
B@@bapalooza is on. And maybe that stresses me because I've wanted it for so long, and now it's actually ON. It's real. It's in a month. And I'd lie if I didn't say that it scares me-- I've never had surgery before, I've never been 'put under'. And it's a bit scary. But I'll be fine, and I know I'll feel so much better about myself anyways once it's done. I *DO* find the timing somewhat funny--
I know people think I'm getting the boobjob because I'm going a bit 'divorce-crazy' like most people do after a breakup. But that's not it. I've wanted this for years! And it's just funny with the timing because NOW I can afford it, and NOW I'm getting divorced. So that's kinda merely convenient.

Dayhome Child
I love this kid. Really, there aren't any kids in the dayhome I DON'T love. But not the point-- this is the one that makes me laugh my butt off. He's such a cutie and such a good kid. I'm gonna miss him, but his mother needs subsidized daycare, and I'm not registered, so I can't provide that service. But we'll see how things progress- dayhomes have a lot of turn-over and changes, and I'm used to that.

EF
This all ties in to money, and dayhome. And I've probably talked that one to death. So no need to elaborate, right?

Walking
Still at EXACTLY 140 lbs. GRRRRRR. Seriously?! Annoying! lol I am not going UP, though, so that's a good thing. My luck-- I'll hit 139 the DAY I go for B@@bapalooza.... hhahaha. But I do miss the girls-- last night's girls' night made me laugh soooo hard. The driving had SIN and I barely puttering along faster than a snail-- we were laughing too hard to be able to drive. I am NOT exagerating when I say my mouth is DYING from being in the 'laugh' position for too long! LOL

Wednesday Ws

Who: Mr. Magoo
What: has nothing to say
Where: here at the computer
When: right now... all day....
Why: really, I have no idea. I sat here, staring at the computer, with nothing to think of writing but "oh, the next load of laundry must be done as I don't hear the dryer anymore".. But, I do have GOOD news-- my lawyer brother-in-law didn't file the divorce papers the other day because of a few issues he wanted to bring up with me, but he called me today and told me it was done. Then the courthouse called- he forgot to change something on one of the pages, so he needed to go back to fix it. So I called him. Told him. He changed it. And now we're REALLY filed. For reals. :)

Which is good. Chris should be served hopefully within the week. The other day I got a call from the Government of Alberta---they set up our mediation meetings next week. Chris meets her on Monday. I meet her on Friday. Then we meet together. (what a bunch of stupid hoops to jump through) Crazy part about this all??? lol-- the lady who did the separation course who thought I was on crack and told me there's no such thing as a "Tim Horton's Divorce".... yah, *SHE* is the mediator. ROFL. i should bring her a cup of Timmy's coffee.

Just Another Day

Yesterday's nerves were for naught- (however you spell that) as EF wasn't there at soccer camp. And neither was her daughter. So, either they missed yesterday, or they are coming next week, or they're not coming at all.

However- my gripe of the day: Chris called and told me some 'totally hot' chick was hitting on him, so he went to coffee with her. They got to talking, and it turned out to be one of my sisters BEST friends. Ew. I'm annoyed. Shouldn't be, but totally annoyed. Actually, I think he only told me because apparently she phoned my sister WHILE they were at coffee, so he wanted to tell me first so I heard it from him and not my sister? At that point, what should I care if my sister tells me? But I think I WOULD be annoyed if he 'failed' to mention it. And then I shake my head- uuh, it's not my business anymore, and I thought you didn't care about this stuff. When I realize I DO care it just annoys me more. HAHA These little instances bother me- and I'm glad to have them. They are one step to help make things easier later on when he gets serious with someone else. No matter what's going on in MY life, or how happy I am with someone new or whatever, it'll be a hard pill to swallow when that happens. I already know he's been with other girls since our separation, and it was a tough thing to hear then! i mean, CUMMON, don't raise your eyebrows-- it was Stampede week-- you've GOT to be serious if you thought he wouldn't take FULL advantage of that! lol

I also booked the boobjob yesterday! yes, you read that TOTALLY correctly. The week-long trip to Utah with my girlfriends is now being dubbed "B@@bapalooza" thanks to Kare. It'll be a riot. Full Van- if you wanna come, lemme know- yes, chicks only. lol August 15th. woot. holla.

August is a month I'm sooo looking forward to. A huge family reunion with ALL my siblings and their families/significant others, one that hasnt' happened in YEARS and YEARS-- like...6? The sucky part about August is that Uncle moves out, and my walking will be DRASTICALLY affected. :( I haven't walked for 5 days, and I'm missing my girls. Tonight???? if it's raining, it'll be disappointing. :( I hope it stays clear in spite of the weather forecasts.

My weekend.

It's been hard to blog lately-- only because I feel there isn't much new to say.

I got a cool comment made to me yesterday. A guy at church and I were talking in the halls about the comment he made in class, and he turned to me and said, "you're always wearing such a different style of clothing and you always look so different. It's very artistic of you". Now, maybe it doesn't come across the same to you, but to me, it was a really neat compliment. He elaborated on what he was talking about-- some Sundays I'm wearing floral/printed puffy-skirted dresses with lace-up shoes or something and my hair down and curly. Some Sundays I'm in a simple T and a jean skirt, chunky shoes with my hair in rolls, bobby-pins on the top of my head, kinda spikey! And yesterday I had this on:

I liked that compliment. Of course, I get the compliments on the weight all the time from church people (I musta looked REALLY fat before..lol) but alas, no such movement on the scale this weekend!!!! :( I am STILL 140. not up, not down. boooooo hissss. So, we'll see how many days it takes until that 130s mark.

My sister came to town on Saturday to Stampede and bought me a CD she knew I'd love. It's the ELF soundtrack. So we put it on, and danced like maniacs in the kitchen. It got funnier and funnier to us, so I set up the camera and we recorded it. OH MY GOSH, the fun times. A little embarassing, but way too fun to keep to ourselves. lol For those who are on Facebook, here's the OTHER video we didn't post.


Friday, the missionaries showed up at my house-- EIGHT of them!! They burnt 4 shirts, as 4 of them reached their one-year mark, so they arrived at MY house because I have a firepit. It was fun watching all 4 of them burn their shirts, and fun getting to meet a few new Elders. I've said it once, I'll say it again: Missionaries rock.

And, instead of filling my weekend with chores and huge lists of stuff to get done, I practically did NOTHING. :S My house is still messy, the laundry still needs doing, and gardening is no further ahead than it was Friday afternoon. But I enjoyed being lazy. And some weekends, that's just as important! ;)

Today my nerves are up a bit.
To get a bit less fru-fru about stuff, last night when Chris dropped off the kids, we got to a bit of talking. I showed him something he wrote in the back of my journal when we were dating, and it was an interesting read. 20/20 hindsight is kinda like that sometimes. We mentioned dating and stuff like having more babies-- random weird things. I got sad. My train of thought: I don't know if I want to have more babies only because I'm afraid of being THAT close to a guy- when you're birthing, there's no more vulnerable and animalistic nature to be in. Chris and I were such an awesome pair- I knew he was looking out for the EXACT interests I would be. It was so good having my teammate beside me. And the thought of having someone ELSE do that now-- scares me. What if the 'new guy' sucks rocks!? What if he can't handle childbirth? What if, *GASP*, he touches me! (LOL-- I can't STAND to be touched, even a little bit, while I'm birthing) So, he reminded me that I'd probably feel fine with the new guy, as the topics would have been discussed well before the day of delivery, but I'm not sure I want to be that close to someone again. I sadly, (NOT ACCUSINGLY) said, "You just hurt me a lot." Tears welled in both our eyes, and he said, "And I'm sorry for that." Then he made a joke about something to try to ignore the fact that it was a touching, yet uncomfortable moment. The want to hug. The want to kiss. And the knowledge that we can't/shouldn't.

But that long-winded story isn't why my nerves are up. LOL-- sidetracked, apparently. No, my nerves are up because today is the Baptist soccer camp. Which means EF will be there with her daughter. I know it'll be fine once I see her, but still- my adrenaline is a bit higher today.

A Few Fhotos

I love these girls-- this is last night at GV night. you know it's Stampede season when EVERY place has entertaining painting on the windows with the word YEEHAW somewhere! lol


And, if I were a guy.. I'd SO be this. ROFLMBO!!!!!!

Oatmeal Chocolate Chunks

Makin' cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. Thankfully, with this many cookies being made in my home, none of them are STAYING in my home! lol I am making cookies for thankyous (finally-- like, a month WAY overdue), and they're also Chris's favourites, so the kids are taking some to his house this weekend too. They HAVE to get out of my house (the cookies, not the kids..haha) so that I can get to that 130 mark by monday. I HONESTLY doubt it will or can happen, because the last 10 pounds are ALWAYS the hardest and slowest to leave. :( Big tears.

Random Compliments

So I have FINALLY found a few minutes of non-craziness to update ya'll. yeehaw. (haha, I love typing 'hick'. Hick and 'Homey'. Wurd foo. lol)

Yesterday was SUPER busy. Not in a really much-to-blog-about way, but just busy. I cleaned out the garage completely and pressure-washed it, so now it's cleaner than clean and organized like mad. LOVE IT. It's such a simple thing- especially since no one really SEES the garage, but having it all cleaned out is a good feeling. I'm such a loser that way. lol Besides, I think my parents are getting their pressure-washer back tomorrow, so I want to make sure I've got my use out of having it here!

Then, to top off my day yesterday, I had 5 kids under 2 years old. 15 diaper changes. 5 dirty faces, 10 dirty hands--50 dirty fingers. LOL... when I type that, it's no WONDER my walls are disgusting.

Cleaned the backyard (no small feat sometimes). Cleaned the house. Had errands to run. Picked up the van from the dealership for the LAST thing they needed to fix. UNFORTUNATELY, now the door lock isn't working and I'll have to manually lock and unlock it, or take it in YET AGAIN! grrr.

Then, I rollerbladed after getting the kids into bed. After an hour of eating FAR too many bugs and working up a nasty sweat, I donned the runners and joined the three other girlfriends of mine on a walk. Three hours of walking nearly every night-- you'd think my butt would look better! lol Okay, but here's my exciting news: The wii says I was down 6 pounds. Which isnt' true, but hey, I'll take the false compliment! lol But, in REAL news, I am ONE pound away from being in the 130s! I am 140 this morning-- think I can lose a pound by Monday!?? That's the goal! I can't wait to be in the 130s again-- hasn't happened since before getting pregnant with Elysia!!!!

I had such a great compliment the other day from a random older lady in Walmart. (not OLD, but probably 60) She watched me deal with my three kids, and turned around to tell me how impressed she was with how much patience and control I possessed. It was such an out-of-the-ordinary moment, and the fact that she stopped in her tracks and turned around to compliment me in such a way was so touching. I mean, as a mom, we usually get the dirty looks and the snide comments from other holier-than-thous who forget that mothering is a TOUGH job. But this was a genuine, original compliment that I was thankful for. Reminds me to take time to tell someone else how good of a job they're doing because you never know how that one comment can touch someone in JUST the way they needed it.

Somebody Else Answer The Phone!!

Okay, so yesterday someone told me that because of my last post, they were afraid to say they've never seen Mary Poppins! I nearly fell off my chair-- but I was standing up, so that expression really doesn't work! Needless to say, if you HAVEN'T seen Mary Poppins, that's okay too-- I'll still love ya! lol

Yesterday sucked. I don't miss yesterday.

I was sad the day before, so I figured I was tired and needed sleep. I actually took a sleeping pill (I still have TONNES left from the Dr.. When I found out about the affair, I didn't/couldn't sleep for nearly 5 days, so I got a prescription. They made me loopy. It was funny. Now I'm a hardened druggy, and can handle them :) ) ANYWHO, I took one the other night, hoping that a REALLY decent sleep would help my mood. So when I woke up yesterday morning, and STILL felt sad, I knew it wasn't a lack-of-sleep-induced emotion. Hence yesterday's post.

But those friends with crappy news-- yah, that continued to affect my day.

• One friend I mentioned was having issues resurface in his life that have been 'conquered' for over three years. Watching (er, hearing-- since it was on the phone) him going through the same issues again was so heartbreaking. I saw how easy things change. One day, and everything changed for him, and it was so sad.

• One friend has been having issues for a while, and I've worried a bit about her issues and how they're affecting her and her family. The mama-bear in me just about wants to go to her house and take out my frustrations on the instigators of her pain, but she knows I'm here anytime. And that's really all I can do. This is a hard time in life for me- so, like her, I hope to be here for her in any way I can be like she's been there for me.

• AFTER those two phone calls, I got another phone call. Someone incredibly close to me has her doctors a little worried about some tests she did. When she told me about her tests, we both acknowledged what they were testing for-- and it's not something small. The results were put on STAT order, so she found some out yesterday, but some aren't back until later today possibly. To talk life and death with a mother who's sooooo very young is a tough reality to face. On a personal note- I felt that there was no one I could tell. I can't tell Chris- our relationship like that is ruined. And that, in addition to the issue, made me sad too.

• On that note, I then got a phone call from Chris. Which is fine, but doesn't make me in a better mood, that's for sure. He mentioned something that's a bit of an annoyance for me.. He isn't going to see the kids this week because it's Stampede week- which means he's busy being drunk and stupid. It really annoys me. But thankfully I'm not waiting for him to come home now-- previous years have been like that, and I'm glad I don't have to KNOW he's out getting drunk and flirting with half-naked beach-blonde bimbos, I can just assume. :S

• AFTER that phone call, who but EF phoned. Seriously. Couldn't have asked for anything else! lol She was friendly (she has no reason to not be) and started small talk about soccer camps and such. Then she asked how I was. I told her 'fine', and left it at that. But then she asked how Chris was. Something inside me (read: THE PISSED OFF PART) snapped- so, quite calmly, I told her where I was lately. I stated I was in an angry mood, and it wasn't anything personal- I'm just angry at everything lately and would rather not talk to her about it. She understood, which I knew she would. But seriously- what other crappy phone calls can I endure!?

• AFTER that phone call, I had a girlfriend arrive at my door in tears. So, an hour or so later of talking and playing devils' advocate to her problems, the last dayhome kids went home and Mimi and I ate dinner. (LL and Bear were at a neighbours for dinner)

So, deciding to hit the sack early, I got roped into going for a walk with the girls anyways.

And it was SO what I needed. Isn't it always!? Those conversations make me laugh for days, and the inside jokes don't stop cooking up! But, I tell ya, I know a bit too much about their husbands. LOL Wouldn't have it any other way- walking hills and doing bench push-ups, working the abs in laughter.

*** I forgot to add- today's a good day- my lawyer/brother-in-law is filing our divorce papers today. ONE step closer to the end of this period of life- and I look forward to the NEW one.

Bitter Better

Ever seen Mary Poppins? If you answer no to that, you may no longer call yourself a child of this world!!!!

Well, something in the wind has changed, and my mood changed with it. For a month, I was blessed with a peace and security that I am grateful for. I would be foolish to not acknowledge that it wasn't something from inside me-- it came from friends and family and above. I know I needed it at that time in my life. And now I'm on to a new feeling, a new emotion.

It's slightly angry, mostly sad.

I think the turning point was the 'fight' with Chris in the garage a week and a bit ago. Something after that really affected me. I'm not a fighting person-- at least, not in that capacity. I think I was surprised that I could be that person. It was totally "ME", and I don't regret saying anything I said. But I think I was surprised that it was even inside me to say. But, as if opening the floodgates, now the sadness has found an entrance into my daily mood.
I'm not depressed, but generally just sad. I can't explain WHAT I'm sad about, or what it is that I think about.

My sister agrees that, like a death, there's a grieving process for sure, and this is one of the steps that I NEED to endure in order to get to the other side of the river. And I'm accepting that. I know better than to try to rush each step or avoid it alltogether.
She said something I'm gonna adopt into my way of thinking. She quoted this guy:

Kristopher Swinson

When faced with challenges, we can get bitter or we can get better.

And I really like this quote. Bitter or better. One little vowel changes so much! I've seen so many divorced people who are bitter, and I really don't want to be that person. It's easier to be bitter, but not what I WANT to be. Being bitter is all about "I"... how *I* feel, how *I* am hurting, how *I* can hurt someone else. I don't like those sentences and don't want to be that person either.

So, I'm a bit 'sad'. It'll pass. But so you know- that' the general emotion from this end of the keyboard.

On top of this, I got some sad news this weekend from someone I love dearly. It was a mixture of disappointing and scary and heartbreaking , and I feel stuck with my hands tied behind my back. If I could help, I would, but in this situation, I can only sit here and watch. And I hate that. So my sad thoughts are with my friend too.
***edit: I just got crappy news from yet ANOTHER good friend whom I love dearly. It totally upset me, and I just want to run and protect them. I'm scared and angry and this person knows who they are-- so I wanna say I love you and you know you've got me here on your side forever.

A few pics from the weekend.

Got the deck done! yay

Lord of the Flames?

I had such a good night last night. Once dayhome kids went home for the day, I trekked to Marks Work Wearhouse and attended the first Stampede Dinner of the year. Sin and her family were there, so we were KINDA all gonna go together. She took LL and got there before me, so when I met up with them, LL comes up to me with THIS:


Freeking amazing, eh?! (apart from the smudged part near her mouth-- we DID eat hotdogs, you know) The facepainter there was so super talented-- the faces she did were AWESOME!!!

But, best part of that dinner- I'm standing there talking with Sin and LL, when a get a hug from behind, practically as Sin's like, "uhh, someone's coming up to you". I turn around, and my director from the TV show was standing there. It was SOOOo good to see her again. I think it's hard to explain how close I feel to her, because she was there for HOURS AND HOURS of filming, digging into my life, seeing everything I'm upsetted by, giving me the hugs when I'm sad, or the high five on a good job...she was there. So we caught up on life for me now and life for her. Kinda funny-- here I am again, eating hotdogs and juice in front of her, thinking, OH CRAP- BUSTED. LOL. Took me a second to realize she didn't care.

After, I went home, got the kids into bed, and the girls came over for a bonfire. It was a totally fun, yet relaxing way to have GV night. The bugs weren't really out because it was JUST windy enough, and so we were there until about midnight.

All in all, a good night.

100 Random Things

WARNING-- this is a long one! I did this years ago in my livejournal account, but upon reading it today, I thought I'd do it again.. only with the "new me" inserted in certain parts.

1) I hate purses. I don't use mine (although I think it's a darn cute Luis Vuitton knock-off) hardly ever. I carry my wallet, or more likely just the card I'd need (bank or visa, airmiles..etc) I love my purse now-- I have a cute red one I also use daily.

2) I think I have asthma, although I've never gotten tested. It's genetic, and I've thought it for a while. now that I'm bigger, I notice it more. I think that was because I was out of shape. I don't feel this way any more.
3) I don't like kissing-- it's not my thing. I think it's overrated. Some people are good kissers, yes, but it doesn't matter. It's dirty and sloppy/wet and if they have ANY sort of bad breath, it's over for me. Okay, I like kissing-- I'm definitely missing it now! lol
4) I have an exceptionally keen schnoz. I can recognize people's smells for years and years, and although many people can do this-- I can name what brand of detergent you use. (except for Kiki-- remember?! :) )
5) I don't have any childhood friends that I still keep in touch with. I wish I did. I keep in VERY distant touch with a friend from grade 4, but not really. That's the closest I get. Since Facebook, that's changed a lot. I've found my first ever friend-- Derek Womack.
6) I wanted three kids when I was a child. I thought it was a perfect number. I don't remember when I decided I wanted more. But I think it's funny that now I actually have three, as I wanted originally. Who knows if more are in store, but I'm beginning to believe there are again, in spite of already getting over the vasectomy. Things change obviously.
7) I believed until I was about 24 that my uncle was a hitman/mobster. My older cousin had a scrapbook with bullet casings and newpaper headlines and clippings of his "murders", and we were told that if we talked to him, he'd kill us. My cousin had a dumb/morbid sense of humour. I think his sense of humour is much funnier after having nieces and nephews of my own!
8) Ever since my mother burnt tupperware on the stove, I can't STAND the smell of burnt plastic. It gives me a major migraine, and I feel physically sick.
9)Tapioca pudding and bread pudding are the worst tasting concoction that ever was, and whoever thought of adding "pudding" to the titles of those nasty foods ruined the word completely. And Rice pudding. I forgot about that one.
10) In grade 10, we were on a field trip. Some guy threw something out the bus window, and I was sitting near him. The bus driver yelled, stopped the bus and we got in so much trouble. She asked over and over again who did it, and the teacher told us that unless someone spoke up, we'd ALL lose our grade for the trip. I didn't think that was fair, so I said I did it, and everyone got off the bus, thanking me as they left. The teacher knew it wasn't me, so I had to talk to the principal and counsellors a few days later. Whatever.. I didn't get my grades docked and everyone else liked me. After reading stuff like this, it makes me look like a horrible student. For clarification,I was a Straight-A student, teachers loved me and if it weren't so, I wouldn't have been Student Body President.
11) I dated Mark Twain-- Shania Twain's half brother. I really liked her until I met him-- he was too stuck in her shadow and made his personality to suit that. He ruined her for me. Side note- I dated him when I found out I was pregnant with Elysia. He asked if it was his baby. ROFL-- uh, considering we never slept together, I found this hilarious.
12) I am going deaf. I can't hear well in certain circumstances, but oddly enough I have really good hearing in others.
13) Not necessarily news to anyone, I have wanted to be a nurse since I can remember. In fact, my favourite TV show as a child was "rescue 9*1*1".
14) I was robbed at gunpoint at a job I hated. The manager thought it was me and my friend setting it up. I hated her more than I hated the job! knifepoint, not gunpoint. Why I put that the first time confuses me. It was a smallish, 2-inch blade, gang-looking knife. Really scary looking, actually. They never caught him.
15) I think those stupid scrotum "balls" that people put on the back of their tailgate/truck is repulsive and rude. I think only small men buy those. And by small, I'm talking shoe size, if you know what I mean.
16) I lived off of frozen raspberries out of my mother's freezer for about three years. She always asked who was eating them. I always lied. She always knew I lied. lol
17) I believe that when a guy I cuddled with at a party committed suicide, he visited me before his funeral. I could FEEL him, standing against a wall in my room and even wearing a red waffle shirt. You can think I'm crazy, but I know what was there.
18) I can pick my nose with my tongue, I can loop it once, twice and three times. I'm working on four. I can swallow it and make it into the shape of a penis...wierd that I can do that, but hey, I'll bet you try it once. Wierder yet that I took the time to figure it out!
19) I love gardening. I love perennials, and didn't know that until I bought my first house and they were already all there, waiting for me to do nothing to them but kill them! :P
20) I used to love winter, but I don't anymore. Now I'm old and I want spring/fall year round. I don't like hot hot hot...just warm enough for a t-shirt but no jacket.
21) I hate wearing shorts. Not because I'm fat, but because shorts are ugly.
22) My mother says I used to have the WORST sense of style. I always had my own idea on what was cool, and she never fought it. I still feel that way sometimes.
23) I had pancakes every Sunday night dinner growing up. With syrup and butter. And we would watch Disney, back when it had the good beginning, with the clippings and Tinkerbell. If any of you own "the Liberators", I want a copy.
24) I miss my first car. It was fugly. His name was Peter. Peter Pontiac, and he was a Fiero. He was GREAT on gas, and even better was that I had to start him with a screwdriver in the back where the engine was. A fiero is also the car in Ferris Bueller's Day Off-- a GREAT movie!
25) I once drank a tetra pack of whipping cream.. it churned in my belly and made me sicker than sick. I was about 9, and I can't eat whipped cream without nearly puking. I'm getting a bit better. Sorry, Nikki...you and I are SOOOOO far away on this one! I like it more now.
26) I was scared spitless of Micheal Jackson's Thriller video and the song until I was nearly 18. Now I'm just scared of Micheal Jackson. Again, he's scary, but brilliant as a musician.
27) I had stringy, wavy hair as a child, then puberty hit and it went really curly. (after my mom had given me a hideous perm, that is) Once I had babies, it started to get flatter again.
28) My hair is very obedient, and I like it for that reason. It's not very strong and doesn't grow very fast, but if I want curls, I can easily get them, and if I want straight, I can get it.
29) I burnt my breasts soooo bad one day, being retarded on a mountain side. I took off my top and bra, and just sat on the mountain with the other person I was with. I had to hide it from my mom after, but I was DYING!!! LOL.. I was a horrible, deceitful teenager. lol
30) I've had a heart to heart with every sibling but Jason. I tried, but he's not like that with me.
31) I hate American pride. I hate George Bush. I hate Americans who can't spell Canada, IF THEY KNOW WHERE IT IS!
32) I hate touching people's feet. I dont' like people touching mine.
33) I tear off my toenails. My toes are never pedicured, which is probably why I feel the way I do in question 32. Since the show was ALWAYS taking footage of my feet getting on scales and such, I stopped that habit. Now they're almost ALWAYS painted.
34) I hate showering. I don't like the amount of work it takes to do my hair after, and I don't like getting wet. I hate bathing worse.
35) I miss my earring that was on the top of my left ear. Lara and I did them together, and it was fun. I liked it.
36) When I was dating this one guy, I met his best friend. His friend and I got along better than the guy and I did, and I secretly wished I could dump the guy and still get the friend, but I knew that wouldn't work. Instead, while my guy was working, I'd take his car and his friend and I would spend all day downtown looking at art stores and talking and even going into our first XXX store together. It was true love! LOL uh.. right. And, for those who are wondering-- we never did anything that my boyfriend didn't know we were doing- he knew we were out together. That, and I don't think the friend thought of me like that.
37) I HATE mucky disposal tops..ie: ketchup lids with crusty ketchup drives me nuts. And toothpaste. YUCK!!! It is my pet peeve of late.
38) When little girls are about 7-12, I can't STAND them. The giggly, act-like-I'm-so-mature age. I dread it for my own kids the worst-- I'll hate them.
38) I hate being randomly touched. And not just from strangers bumping into me, but family members. Chris will touch me in the kitchen on the small of my back and I hate it. But a kiss from behind makes the touch acceptable. yep, would TOTALLY depend on the touch now.
39) I like socks. I like wearing socks to bed. I like fuzzy socks, but NOT wooly ones. Yuck.
40) I can still put my legs behind my head. For being so fat (at least, fat to me) I'm a suprisingly flexible. Even more flexible now.
41) My legs don't tan. My arms do a bit. My neck and face do the most.
42) I eat enough cheese to feed a small army. See fatness problem number 1. Remedied.
43) I only wear one brand of underwear. That's changed too.
44) I believe that everything said during PMS is actually the true feelings that you normally hide for the remainder of the month.
45) I'm not monthly.
46) I'm not afraid to tell people everything private about me-- I have nothing to hide and I am what I am. Maybe I should keep more personal secrets, but that's just not me.
47) I love musicals. Old ones too. My favourite is Chicago.
48) Chocolate should only come with nuts in it. Other than that, it's too boring.
49) I like cleaning, but only when I can see the rewards. I hate housekeeping because it never stops.
50) I've NEVER drank alcohol other than once. I was babysitting and they made their own wine. They had put it in a tupperware jug, and I thought it was kool-aid. I took one swig and nearly puked it back up into the sink. The kid I was babysitting watched the whole time and didn't say anything. Just laughed his butt off. He was a horrible kid. Still haven't ever drank. Chris never understood that- I can't explain it- it never appealed to me. ever.
51) I have more fun than my drunk counterparts, guaranteed. I have shocked people when I told them I'm not drunk. That's because I'm nuts.. sober or not! lol
52) I wouldn't think twice about getting a boob job after losing weight. I like having boobs. Oh, just you wait-- I will do this sooner than later, I guarantee!
53) My favourite number is 12. Or 3. Or 33. Anything that's pretty much a 3... (12 is 1 plus 2)
54) I think people's ideas of what constitutes a sport is pathetic. Poker is not a sport. Neither is golf. Golf MAY be a sport.. haven't tried it, so I won't knock it yet.
55) I snuck out of my house once with a guy. When I saw my mom coming, we got out the back door. She knew. She came and picked me up. I was mortified.
56) I hate making breakfasts. I hate lunches more. But in general I love making dinners. I love having people over for dinner, especially.
57) I want to take an interior decorating class, but I don't like homeschooling or computer classes, and I don't want to leave my kids with a sitter in the day. I could do night classes, but I don't know where I'd find the time now.
58) I got my grade 9 keyboarding teacher fired. I told him off, and he was the one to get fired. Good. I hated him. (In spite of #10, every OTHER teacher loved me. lol)
59) I was never really good at anything. I dont' excel at anything still. I am mediocre at many things, though. If I had to pick one thing, it'd be writing. hahah, I decided that I know WAY too many more talented writers than I now, so that's off my list too! lol
60) I love storms. All kinds. But they have to be MASSIVE.
61) My favourite holiday is Christmas, and my least favourite is Valentines. I find V-day a waste of emotion that should be shared anyways. And I'm nonchalant about Hallowe'en. I share that day, so it's not special to me.
62) I am double jointed.
63) If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life, it'd be vegetables. I've recently thought of becoming a vegetarian, but I like meat. And I think deer are alive to eat. And fish. And cows. And steaks. :)
64) I don't mind getting up early. I went to four years of perfect attendance at early-morning seminary, and had a cup of hot chocolate every day. Now, waking up early doesn't bother me, as long as I KNOW I am waking up early. If you wake me before the planned time, I'm angry. Angry's a harsh word-- just annoyed, usually. That's getting better too now.
65) I have a hard time letting go. Amazingly, not as much anymore. I think the show had a lot to do with that.
66) I make decisions easily.
67) I hate bunnies. One bit me and ever since, I hate them. Easter bunny is overrated. Again, hate's a strong word. I'm not a fan. I'm better now, though, as I WILL hold or pet one. For a minute, after that my hives break out and I hyperventilate! lol
68) It is impossible for me to drink an entire glass of water. I hate water. But, even if I DO drink it, I will NEVER finish it. I can't stand drinking the last 'gulp' in the cup... it usually goes down the drain. See fatness problem number 2. OBVIOUSLY after going through the TV show, drinking water now is not a problem. I STILL won't drink the last gulp, though.
69) If I didn't want to be a nurse, I dabbled in the thought of being a psychiatrist or something like a social worker or whatever. Or an interior decorator-- see # 57.
70) i am NOT a mathmatician. I do NOT know my 12 times tables. I barely get my 6 through 8s! I haven't always struggled with it, though. I was put into grade 10 advanced math.
71) I got caught cheating in school-- grade 10 math, interestingly enough. I denied it. I had to get my parents to sign the test, and emphatically told them that he was wrong. I got my grade back. I was soooo dishonest. Sorry, Mr. Brown. Again, the ONLY time I cheated in school. And got caught. figures. This is the only class I WASN'T a straight-A student in. Maybe straight-C!
72) I'm really bad at remembering people's names. In my ward, with so many new people all the time, it's the worst!! There's one girl in nursery with me, who I've known for a while now-- but couldn't name her if I tried. It's WAYYYY past the expiration on when I can acceptably ask her name again. Like, nearing the year-mark! Yep, still don't know her name. Oops. She's not in my ward anymore, though. Phew. And I'm not in nursery any more.
73) I liked to eat what others would consider weird concoctions. Growing up, one of my favourite sammiges was grapes and mayonnaise. Yes, just that. Crush up the grapes, slather on mayo, and conver with bread. mmmmmm. haha, ew. I drank pickle juice often, and really enjoy lemon juice. Like, straight. I STILL like that. It's my mother's fault-- she'd squirt us with those little lemons of lemonjuice before singing (it clears your throat), and I liked it. yep, still like lemon juice.
74) I didn't go on the internet, or even fully understood what it was until I was about 17. Now I know what it is, but don't understand computers very well. I am SOOO much better about computers now.
75) In spite of my teenage years, I would REALLY love to live near my parents. I envy those people who have their mothers over to watch their kids or who have family dinners every Sunday. With my parents now living only a few hours away instead of 12 or so, at least a visit isn't a major event. Still, I'd like it a lot more if they lived in my city, and LOVE it if they lived in my community!
76) My earliest memory is when I walked from a swimming pool to my father's work. I remember going over train tracks, and across a big huge bridge. I was walking on the sidewalk of an extremely busy road. And no, I wasn't walking away-- my mother left me at the pool by accident, and when I realised this, I walked to my Dad's work, knowing he'd be there. Boy, was he shocked to see me. I was maybe 4, 5? I was left alone a LOT! Once I was left at a mall. Once I was left at a playground in Lethbridge while my entire family drove to Taber before they realized I was missing!
77) I love to floss my teeth. Hard. Make em' bleed and love it! :)
78) I've imagined horrible things, like my funeral. Or Chris'. Or I've "daydreamed" about one of my children dying, being raped, horrible things like that. Why? I havent' a clue. But man, my imagination can really create cool stories!
79) I dont' like swimming. I took lessons up to Bronze Cross, and didn't really like any of it. I guess I just don't like getting wet (see #34) During the show, I worked out in the pool and realized how much I actually MISS swimming. So now, I love it. weird how that worked.
80) I find this a VERY difficult thing to do-- I don't have 100 random or semi-interesting facts about myself. I don't think this one counts either. okay, new one: everyone lately has said how nice it'll be now that I can have a mormon marriage-- and although the intentions are correct, it annoys me. I paranoidly think that they say that as if it was the issue on why our marriage broke up. Not so. Would I marry a non-mormon again? yes, if I was 100% sure I wanted that.
81) My mother has told me that she thought (and perhaps she still does) that I would be the first person in my family to leave the LDS church. I find that funny. But not in a ha ha way. I find it funnier that THAT is the next comment after what I wrote in #80! lol
82) I have told 6 guys that I (romantically)loved them, and thought I genuinely did. In retrospective truth, I have only loved 3 of them, and one of those wasn't a person I ever said it to! I HAVE said it to him now. I still love those three men. Always will.
83) I believe I will be married in the LDS temple. Let's correct this- I believe I will be SEALED in the temple- alive or not, I believe I will be.
84) I didn't know dragons were imaginary. I thought they were like dinosaurs.
85) I think expensive cars are the stupidest thing. Who really wants a money-pit that they paid an arm and a leg for?! But I'd LOVVVVVE to own a really really really old vintage car, like those ones you only see at car shows and maybe at the Stampede! :) Those cars have character.
86) My DREAM car is, and pretty much always has been, a Volkswagon Bettle. Yellow. And the old kind, not the new ones. Funny, but I had a boyfriend who said he thought they were the ugliest cars ever. Then we broke up, and he met his future wife, who had, get this-- A YELLOW vintage VW bettle. He said it was the nicest car ever. I knew he'd marry her when he said that!!!! hahahaha
87) I splurge on children's clothes. I love buying clothes for the kids. Thankfully I have found a fantastic second-hand store (no, not "the garage") where I can get NICE, brand-name clothes for my kids REAAAAAAALLLY cheaply! I still spend hundreds every time I go, but thankfully I walk out with BAGS and BAGS of nice stuff.
88) If I could choose how I die, I'd want to die of an overdose. I'd want to be drugged by some random person putting something in my Ensure or Ovaltine and die on a huge drug trip. Having never done drugs, I think I'd be a hilarious riot until I passed out. HAHA, that still makes me laugh-- I do NOT do well on drugs. Once, when I broke my arm, I was put under-- and MAN I WAS LOOPY! I can't imagine what street drugs would do to me! lol
89) I THINK I'm going to die of cancer. Skin cancer... I love to be in the sun and I NEVER wear sunscreen! Or lung cancer- that would be so fitting, since I can't STAND smokers.
90) If you give me a word, I will find a song to go with it. I have a song for EVERYTHING. Ask Kannie-- she probably gets so tired of Uncle and I breaking out into song every time she says something.
91) I don't like roses. Most people will know this, or will have made a few deductive reasonings based on the name of my account (DAISYHALO). I think roses are superficial and impersonal. They're too mainstream. I love daisies. Simple, pretty, original, and they smell like pooh. :) And Lilacs, cuz they smell up an entire house. So does Chris. That's why I love him too! ;) ROFL-- that was a funny comment.
92) I can burp on command. I can pretty much do the alphabet, but I haven't tried to since I was, like 13.
93) I can turn my belly button inside out. I haven't been ABLE to do that for a few years now, ever since having a baby and gaining weight. It's not on my "must-lose-weight-in-order-to" list. That's one of those things I don't feel the need to try ever again. Thin or not.
94) I'd like to be a better photographer. In fact, I'd like to take classes on that, too. Black and Whites or Sepia are my favourite. I'd like to be Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats-- with a big, old camera like that. Funny I pick that movie-- what with what's going on in my life now.
95) I have PLUCKED my armpits. More than once. It was the longest, most painful thing ever! Don't do it unless you too are in Japan and your hostfamily tells you you're going to a public bath tomorrow where you KNOW every eye will be on the Canadian girl and there's not a razor in sight. Last thing you want or need are hairy armpits.
96) I don't have ONE favourite movie. But I LOVE Patch Adams, Pay It Forward, The Power of One, and The Notebook. I really really like a lot of others, but those are feel-good, wonderful movies that have action, romance, sadness, inspiration and a happy ending. Well, maybe not Pay It Forward, but close.
97) I hated EFY, a week-long youth camp. Everyone says wonderful things about it, and everyone else I know has had the time of their lives at EFY, but not me. It was boring and lame and nobody was friendly. However, Leadership in Toronto (same thing as EFY, pretty much) was the best!!!!!
98) I have jumped out of a moving car onto a gravel road.
99) I have flashed a trucker my really pretty orange bra. It was the funniest thing at the time. CC and I were working together at RaceFace, and she TOTALLY cut off a trucker in her tiny little dodge. He laid on his horn for a good 10 minutes on the highway during rushhour/gridlock, just non-stop! We were dying laughing, he was sooooo pissed off! So, I flashed him. He didn't get any less mad. He must have been gay. I mean, cummon, back then they were perky and fabulous! LOL only slightly funny that I JUST bought a new orange bra for the first time since being married and having that other one get too small once I got pregnant with Elysia.
100) If I could live anywhere in the world, I'd like to live in Canada. But somewhere HOT. Like Mexico. If I could swing that, I'd be there in a heartbeat. I guess Australia or New Zealand would be my second choice. That's basically a hot Canada anyways.