Not Me Monday- Moving

I am NOT still sick. I did NOT, however, take some serious drugs this weekend to get back to my normal amazingly awesome self.

Life is NOT starting to feel back to normal again. I do NOT need a buttload smidgen of routine in order for me to NOT function, and now that the wedding is NOT over and I am NOT settling in to this small-town life, I can NOT finally get it together.

This week, my kids do NOT have 2 days off! I know, school only started 2 weeks ago, and already they have TWO days off... I do NOT remember when I went to school, and did walk up hill both ways, carrying my shoes in my hands with plastic bags on my feet, in the snow, for 50 miles. And, NO, I did NOT have days off every two weeks.

We did NOT have last-minute dinner guests yesterday, and NOPE, I did NOT feed them whilst sitting on rubbermaid buckets around the table. Both of our children did NOT eat in the living room, on the (blue carpeted) floor. That would be just rude, and I would NEVER do that to dinner guests. This was NOT bad enough, but to top it off, I did NOT inwardly freak out, considering it was Will's Ex's extended family, and I did NOT worry about making a good impression. I am NOT pleased to say that they were very nice and friendly, in spite of my dirty house. And, in case you're wondering, I did NOT overcook the asparagus to a nasty utterly delicious green goop. I do NOT hate the craptastic flat-top stove and oven here at the house, and my prissy city-girl inner cook does NOT miss her gas stove from the Calgary house.

I am NOT thankful that my parents brought the kitchen chairs from that house later last night- too late for the dinner guests, but great just the same. I am NOT also excited about bringing ALL of my stuff later this week. I am NOT demanding hosting a cleaning party at my house, for those interested! :) BYOC, BYOTC, BYOLW. -- bring your own chairs. And toilet cleaner. And lysol wipes.

I did NOT buy Hallowe'en candy already. Nope, NOT ME! I do NOT have a weakness for the peanut-butter ones. It is NOT Chocolate Wednesday, and I am so NOT cheating! I have also NOT eaten the box all. by. myself.

This does NOT remind me that X-Weighted is starting up that "where are they now" website. It is NOT a bad idea for me to be eating all that chocolate just before they launch. And, apparently, my episode is NOT airing all week, too.

BUT, on the other side of the fat scale, I did NOT wear "the skirt" to church yesterday. This skirt is one that my mother did NOT wear when she was young-- (bought in 1975), and it is NOT the skinniest article of clothing I have. I did NOT wear it when I was a teen, and it was NOT my goal skirt to fit into when the TV show ended. I did NOT force my fat thighs into that skirt yesterday. I did NOT do a little dance of joy that I got the zipper up. And then, when the day was over, I did NOT do ANOTHER (completely ridiculous) dance to try to get it off. NOPE, NOT ME. I would NEVER nearly pull off my left buttcheek in order to get the thing off! I am NOT >this< close to marathon training again going for a few runs with Will to get back into shape.

Flipped Out

Remember that contest I won, on THIS post?

Well, remember how I won a bunch of coupons to give away as a 'reward' to my bloggy friends?
Well, remember that I haven't done that yet???

So, here it is:

If you'd like to win ice cream coupons for a pint of Ben and Jerry's Flipped Out Ice Cream, here's the simple rules to win.

I will reward one coupon to each person who comments on a time when they TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT. A freak out, a day spent on a trampoline, a tumble down some stairs-- ANYTHING counts. If you think you 'flipped out', leave a comment with the story, and you will be one of the winners!

Yep. that's because I have no imagination to make this contest any tougher!

And, lastly, you have to leave an email address for me in order to get the coupon to ya (the company sends them to you personally). You can email me your email personally *(debbirn2b@hotmail.com) or you can put it in the comments for us all to hound your inbox with.

***EDIT: These coupons are only valid in the USA. If you're a Canadian reader, and you want one, that's fine. There's lots of readers I know who travel to the US often. But, I didn't want to mislead us Canadians... They're only valid in the USA.

And one of these days I'll post something good. I'm stretched to the max right now with the wedding and moving and money and selling and coping and planning and cleaning and packing and...and.. and..

Canada Day

Kay, guys, You KNOW I love you and all. Because I should *COULD* be napping, but I'm updating everyone on the holiday yesterday instead. Yep. Because I love you. And because my eyeballs are too sunburnt to shut and my muscles are too sore to lay on.

Yesterday started WAY early, as I woke up Will and Bigguy along with my kids, and we drove down to Raymond for a Canada Day Parade first thing in the morning. We ran into quite a few people Will knows (small-town living-- everyone is related to everyone) and in fact, I ran into a few of MY family members too. My parents and Uncle Kannie joined up at our spot outside Will's sister's house, and we sat and watched the kids get attacked by candy-throwing participants the parade.We met up with Will's ex, who then dropped off the other kids. Armed with ARMLOADS and cheek-fulls of candy, the 9 of us then drove to a huge reservoir where some more of Will's family was meeting.

When they say those folding camp-chairs only hold 200 lbs, WHAT do THEY know?!

It was a SUPER good time. Potluck-ish lunch, sunshine, boating and tubing, and playing. Again, at Will's VERY DISTANT family reunion thingy, we also met up with a few of my quite distant family members. AND I MEAN DISTANT, so No, I'm not kissing my cousin. :)After we were all fairly pooped (don't start me on how literal I'm being on that one! ew.) we drove to Will's home town where they had a "Party In The Park" with native dancing and music and food and bouncers and such. And more candy.

Dancing the Macarena- some dances never die. LOL

A few hours and a couple more meltdowns from VERY tired children later, we sat on the big hill and watched Fireworks until about 11:30 pm.

The Girls of the Day. LL, Grace, Em, Mimi and I

Then, we squished 9 of us into my 7-seater van and drove the 1/2 hour back to Will's Ex's home to drop of the kids.

And then, it was 2 hours back to MY home ..where we arrived around 3...so that I could work at 6:30 this morning.

But, as you see, we had a GREAT day and enjoyed each other's company immensely. And, in spite of this picture, I think we came out not TOO horribly scarred from the candy overdose! Clockwise from top middle: Will, LL, Grace, Taylor, Me, Em, Bigguy, Mimi and Bear in the middle

If You're Looking For A Post on How to Have a Divortion with a Hermaphrodite That Exacerbates Folding Panties, Whoa, You've Come to the Wrong Place

So, using my super-secret, high-tech analytic gadgets , I can stalk track what happens on this blog, where people come from, and what brought them here. I thought I'd share with you some of the funny things people searched for in the past month to end up here on this silly blog.

Some searches are obvious, like "Daisyhalos," "blogspot," "Mormon," or " X-Weighted," but here's some original ones for this month:

1. "Cute Ways To Fold Undies." In case any of you missed it, it truly was a great tutorial (you can catch it here). I'm just sad that only two people find it important to ensure all panties are nicely placed into the underwear drawer. If anything, underwear are the closest thing to our..uh..hearts. Shouldn't we fold them with a little more reverence!?
   
   
2. "Hal and Joanne McLeod Divorce." Don't think I started that nasty rumour. That would be a sad story if it were true. I mean, whose marriage can't survive the mantra of "keep fit, and have fun"? Body Break is NOT a break-UP, people! And, Joanne would be the DUMBEST woman on the planet to divorce a man with such a stellar 'stache! Hey, Hal, if it's true that you're single... CALL ME! *wink wink*
   
   PS- were they ever even married?
   
   
3. "Is the Word Whoa A Proper Word". Seriously, Feltcher, it totally is. The spellcheck accepts it, so that's sayin' something. And, besides, it was on TV, so its superly gotsta be a real word cuz everything on TV is true! *cough* And, for a frikkle-head to search on google for that and ultimatively click on a BLOG-linky, you needa go back to school. Cuz, CLEARLY, blogs are the be-all and end-all of Good Wordisms. And punctuationisms. And gooder English. Other real words not to be left out: bestest, recockulous, and buttmunch.
   
   Whoa. I think I hurt my head on those last few. Whoa.
   
   
4. "What is a Hermaphrodite Technically Called?" "Hermaphrodite Love 8" "Blue Power Ranger Hermaphrodite" I don't even want to comment on this one. I'm scared. Please, if you're looking for ANYTHING of this sort, you're on the wrong blog. The title of THIS POST was just a joke. And Blue Power Ranger Hermaphrodites???? WHAT THE??!?!
   
   
5. "What is a Divortion" I still love this word, courtesy of Babbling Brooke. But the true definition of Divortion doesn't exist. There's no such word. Maybe divortion is only for those people who want to be unmarried AND lose their responsibilities as a parent?
   
   
6. "How Many Calories In A Burger From Peters' Drive-In" WHO CARES?! Just eat the mofo! And stuff the ginormous amount of french fries they give you in your mouth, too, before anyone sees! (ooooh, Ginormous... hey, dumbdumb from number 3, FYI: ginormous is ALSO a word.) And, if you're gonna do a trip to Peters', do it right: get a Tiger-flavoured milkshake. MMMMM. There's no calories in milkshakes on Thursday. Like there's no calories in *Chocolate on Wednesday, in tacos on Tuesday or in *Candy on Fridays.
   
   *yes, as the link says, these are always capitalized!
   
   
7. "Peloop" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SERIOUSLY!?!! That comes from THIS POST, and frankly, that's just hilarious that someone was SEARCHING for that product! Good luck on that. Let us know how it went!
   
   
8. "Definition of Exacerbated". This is only funny to me because it wasn't me who said it-- it was an Anonymous commenter on THIS entry. But, for ease of clickage, the proper definition of exacerbated is:
   

• to make more intense or sharp; aggravate (disease, pain, annoyance, etc.)
• to exasperate; annoy; irritate; embitter
  
  
  

So, there you have it. Things that brought some of you here. :) Hopefully you managed to find what you were looking for, and then some, while you've read along since! And if not, I'm sure we'll have some gooders next month. So stay tuned. And yes, gooders is ALSO a word! :)

Word Verification Wednesday, and I'm NOT Blogging About Recent Drama!

It's Wednesday today. I have nothing noteworthy to blog about. I considered blogging about my weekend 'drama' with Chris and "Kay" (his girlfriend) and how Chris wanted to stay in my house while I was out of town this past weekend so that he didn't have to deal with his roommate who is anal retentive and doesn't really like kids and when I asked him if Kay and her kids would be here too, he said yes and I was a bit uncomfortable about that but reluctantly agreed but when they got to the house I was still here because I hadn't left yet and Kay didn't come in to meet me when she had the chance and so I felt disrespected because who in their right mind asks to stay in someone's home that they aren't willing to meet the hostess first and seriously, I'm supposed to meet her before the kids did, but so much for that theory and what the heck happened to Chris and my agreements regarding all of that and yes I know things with Will didn't exactly go as planned either but that's not a reason to make two wrongs into an attempt at a right and how when I told Chris I was annoyed by the fact that she didn't want to come in to meet me and that she was no longer invited to stay here because I can't handle the immaturity and he stormed away from me without acknowledging he heard me or defending himself or her or ANYTHING and seriously if she was worried about it being awkward then she's got another thing coming for her when she DOES decide to meet me because if you ask me it's already awkwardER now and then I find out that he never even ASKED her if she wanted to meet me but simply assumed it was what she'd say but turns out she ended up asking him about it later too which makes me wonder if in reality HE didn't want us to meet which only bugs me further and when I called him on that he apologized and things are all better now and worked out with all parties involved so, NO, I won't be blogging about that afterall! ;)

Instead, I'll remind you all that it's Wednesday and time to play along with Jillybean at Thou Shalt Not Whine. Define your word verification, and have a GREAT Chocolate Wednesday!

A Million "themes" for the Day.

It's April Fools' Day. NAY. I hate this day. It's kinda childish-- and not in the "I'm young at heart" childish way, more like the "I don't wipe my own butt" annoying childish way. Chris says I used to try to 'get' him, but I don't remember that. Clearly I'm much cooler than that now. (yay?)

But it IS Word Verfication Wednesday. Yay. And Wednesday Ws, which I don't have the inclination to do today. Nay. It's also Chocolate Wednesday. Yay. And some people call it hump day. (I don't even want to SAY if this is a yay or nay for fear of being taken the wrong way!) So really, Wednesday could be a really cool day of the week. Better than Tuesday, at least! ;) But, it's the start to a new month, which is ALWAYS a good thing-- a month of 'spring-ness'. Yay. Which translates into flowers and sunshine. YAY. And floods. Nay. And I am down two permanent kids as of today (nay)-- the day seems SOOO quiet. YAY. It's kinda nice-- I'll get so much done this month, so I'm happy for the break. YAY. Although, this week sometime I'll be putting up new signs for more childcare, which means I'll be doing interviews again. NAY.

Selling Girl Guide cookies, for you locals who want some. They're the chocolate and vanilla sandwich type. Yay. NOT the nasty mint chocolate ones. NAY!!! If I don't sell them to our ASSIGNED route, I end up with all these cookies in my home. Nay. Buy them!!!!!! i do NOT want them! I say Nay Nay!~

(Dont' forget to play Word Verification Wednesday!)

Wednesday Ws and Word Verification Wednesday

Who: Babbling Brook
What: had a conversation with me
Where: in the car
When: this morning while waiting at the bus stop
Why: because she's cute.

Brook- You and my Uncle should be a good couple... he's having a divortion too!

BAAHAHAH, divortion. Like killing a full-grown, adult baby! haha. I am now loving that word. lol

Who: Me
What: is coping
Where: inside my heart
When: a little more each day
Why: because I have amazing friends. I have made new friendships with people in similar situations and have enjoyed 'comparing notes' and confidences. I have friends, tried and tested, who have stuck by my side through every tear and complaint. I have friends who bring cookies, send little love notes or packages, and speak in certain love languages that are touching and humbling. I hope I can be that friend to these people that they are to me.
And, because I have amazing family. Parents who are there for me whenever I ask. Sisters, who amidst their own phenomenal pain and hurt, have listened to my fears and failures, and have loved me in spite of my faults. Who support me more than anyone ever can. Brothers who hug and call and write messages. I feel loved more and more, and so less alone than ever.

And, because I have amazing faith.
I know I confuse people. But my faith in God and Jesus and the atonement are really bringing me through this. I know I 'chose' Chris to leave. But let's remember, it's never an easy choice to make when a marriage is at stake. It hurts. But sometimes the right choice is the hardest one to make.
So I thank my blogger friends I've never met but love completely, my neighbours, my ward, my dayhome mothers who are my friends as well, my separated/divorcing/divorced friends who 'get me', my Eight Gothic Vagina girls, and everyone who fits into any category above. Thank you. I've needed you.






And that's right. It's Chocolate Wednesday. I will not be having Chocolate today. And I'm okay with that. Besides, I'm not really into Chocolate lately. I'm more into the Candy thing, and had far too much Candy last night. lol.. and I loved it.

Being Wednesday, it's time to play along with Word Verification Wednesday, courtesy of Jillybean. Everyone join in!

My Verification Explanation today:
nernab

kidnapping a computer geek

Wednesday Ws

Who: The dayhome
What: will be empty
Where: oh where have my children gone!?
When: T minus three days!
Why: Aside from losing that one little girl, the two full-timers I have are moving to Edmonton and Friday is their last day. (One of them being Angel. How sad! She's too cute) So, I'll have two part-timers (one drop-in, one twice a week). And I still haven't gotten a hold of EF to tell her that I'm not taking her kids afterall. I left a message for her to call me, but she hasn't. note to self: call her again today. Seeing as things with Chris are still so positive, it could well go into January if not longer. Of course, it could finish tomorrow. But so far, so good. So, I need her not to be here. Anyways. I'm actually kinda excited for a bit of time off, although, I need the money. It'll be nice to have days of just Mimi and I, since she's never really had any one-on-one attention. I've had the dayhome for nearly her whole life. It'll be nice to take her to the zoo, to have naps. LOL And I'll probably find less time to blog seeing as she'll be bored by herself once in a while after ALWAYS having someone to play with and I'll be busy playing barbies and dressup. I printed up more 'ads' for mailboxes and grocery-store bulletin boards, but I hate that part. Let the interviews commence. Blah.

Who: Fatty McBubberson
What: Wants to remind you
When: Today, of course
Where: Wherever you are. Whatever you're doing. Drop everything and commence
Why: Let us remember THIS post. Yes, you read it correctly, today is Chocolate Wednesday. And, for your sharing satisfaction, I have ONLY had four of these. (who cares that it's only 9:30 am... there's no time restrictions for Chocolate Wednesday! lol) I bought our Hallowe'en candy last night, and opened it up first thing this morning! hahaha. Okay, in defence of my lack of control, I opened it to give a peice to the school-kids on their way to school. I was being giving. Yah, that's it. Clearly I would NEVER have alternative, more selfish motives! Geez, what do you take me for!!? :P tee hee. (don't answer that!)


Who: Pessy McPessimistersons
What: should be happy
Where: uh...
When: once hearing this
Why: because I have nothing exciting to blog. So, my life is officially "boring". Boring is good, one anonymous said. So, there you have it. BOw-ring! As requested. :) (by the way, I love this store! And, yes, I recognize that it's not pronounced "BO-ring", but, in my ignorant defence, a bow-tie is pronounced "bo", so I say bow-ring! Don't ask for further explanation. It makes sense to me and my sista, Keeks. And sisters don't have to explain what's funny to them. Clearly. )

Yep, Candy Fridays, Yo!

It's a GV thing. kinda.
Well, TECHNICALLY, it's a Sin and I thing. But the GVs are in it too.

Let's settle in for storyhour.

Once upon a time, little red ride-the-hood (A.K.A Sin) was eating crazy amounts of Chocolate one Wednesday. (And yes, I make fun of her non-stop in stupid names we give each other, but in reality, she's a great gal :) ) She and I were both trying to lose weight.. correction... She and I ARE both trying to lose weight. When one is trying to lose weight, it's always good to have a friend or support-system to call in those moments of weakness. Which, when it comes to Sin, those weak moments are OFTEN! -She has NO self-control. HAHA. which is why I love her.

ANYwhoodle,
So she called me in her Chocolate-coma, and, in true friend fashion, I did NOT remove the Chocolate. I mean, cummon-- you do NOT take another friend's Chocolate from their hands. It's just rude. And warrants a SERIOUS flogging from said friend and other women worldwide. Do NOT take another friend's Chocolate!!! No, I did not steal her Chocolate, I simply reassured her that on Wednesdays, Chocolate has zero calories. You can eat as much Chocolate as you like and indulge like CRAZY on Wednesdays with NO calories. :) See? True friends know caloric intake of Chocolate on certain days. And, believe you me, some days you do NOT want to eat Chocolate.

Like today.

Nope. Today is Friday. Thus, Candy Friday. You guessed it. Same idea as Chocolate Wednesday, but this time we eat Candy. Well, in all fairness, most of the time we don't ACTUALLY eat Candy, but we like to imagine we were! :D The best Candy for Fridays is hard Candy, because you don't need as much, and, because you usually have to suck on it, it lasts that much longer. Candy Friday came after Chocolate Wednesday (we also have Pizza Monday, and Taco Tuesday, and Milkshake Thursday). Sometimes, but NOT ALWAYS, you can cheat and have Candy AND Chocolate on the same day like in M&Ms (Candy-coated Chocolate), but, really girls, that's just a bit too much, no? (By the way, Fudge is NOT the same as Chocolate. Clearly)

Rules:

1. Chocolate can *and should* be eaten often. Some even believe it should be taken daily!! Indulge, but remember, there are ONLY no calories on Wednesday. Enjoy your Chocolate, women, but don't tell your friends about it on ANY other day than Wednesday. Some women are on certain Chocolate-reduced diets and don't like to hear it.
2. DO NOT SHARE CHOCOLATE!!! Women NEVER share Chocolate. It is against the rules. Stealing another woman's Chocolate results in unmentionable consequences. Have you ever TRIED to steal Chocolate from another woman?? It's dangerous. Fear for your life. A woman scorned, I tell ya, a woman scorned!!!
3. ANY Chocolate the woman desires is acceptable forms of Chocolate. For instance, some women prefer the kind you can break (like me-- that way, you don't have to have the WHOLE thing at once and it makes you feel better about eating the entire thing in one sitting!!), some prefer certain coloured Chocolate over the others (I'm partial to white or light Chocolate, I think black leaves a bitter aftertaste) and some prefer types with fruit or nuts (I'm NOT a fruit girl, but I AM a nut girl. mmm) Oh, and caramel. Yes, I love me some Chocolate with gooey caramel inside!
4. You may share SOME Candy, but in general, women shouldn't *(and don't) share Candy well either. I've been known to share Candy once in a while with ONLY my closest friends, but I, for one, DO NOT SHARE CHOCOLATE!!! I have done that, and I'm NOT okay with it. See rule #2!!!
   
5. Yes, as you may have noticed, Chocolate and Candy are ALWAYS capitalized. Always. It's a rule. Don't fight it.
   

So, enjoy Candy Friday, women around the world!!! And Sin, (and the others who already knew the Chocolate/Candy story- the GVs, some sisters of mine, a few chosen friends)... FYI: I will be enjoying my own Candy today. But if you feel like sharing-- I'm here. :)