Doesn't everyone get a blender when they get married?!

It's tricky being a blended family.

It's tricky enough getting married when you're older, because you are already SET in routines and desires and traditions. But, add in some children, a few exes, their families and you have the makings of a new soup for everyone!

Recently, Will and I discussed Christmas traditions. Turns out that MOST of our traditions can be done on BOTH sides. But there's a few 'conflicting' ones, where we'll have to pick to give ours up, keep it, or just make a whole NEW one. For Will and I, traditions can be changed. But when we add children, it's a bit tougher. What's most important to them, and what can change? Santa Claus does different things at different households.. so, what does he do HERE?

We are also figuring out weekends. When does Will's ex have the older kids, when do we? Seeing as how Em lives with us but the others don't, there's more travelling now. Having one ex requires work for scheduling and holidays, but we also have MY ex, Chris. So double the work. When does he have the younger ones? And, if he moves, what happens then? And the travelling ... oh the travelling.

Will's kids eat differently than mine do. Not a LOT differently, but snacks and grazing foods for sure. So, grocery shopping changes. Menu planning revolves slightly around which children are home and when. Dislikes and favourites and habits.

What rules did I have in my home that Will doesn't share?
Given, a lot of these things you find out through dating-- and a lot of them, we did! But, because we didn't LIVE together beforehand, there are some things that you can't know until then.

It's tricky, too, as Will's kids are older than mine so rules are different for some than others. Thankfully Grace and LL are only a year apart, so it bridges the "olders" from the "youngers" much better.

Decorating a home. Planning family vacations. Routines for homework. Songs at family prayer-- there are many things we're learning from each other, and many more to come, I know it.

I look forward to each morning that Will and I grow our OWN family tree. Our OWN fruits, our own traditions.

Although we're two separate families becoming one,.. we are definitely nine great peas in this pod!

(We shelled peas for Gramma, and Will found this one! How appropriate, hey?)

Wednesday Ws- Dress

Who: Sin, Babbling Brook and I
What: had a blast
Where: at the bridal store
When: last night
Why: so I could try on wedding dresses. I didn't try on dresses when I got engaged to Chris... in truth, I didn't even SEE my dress until less than 12 hours before I got married. My awesome sister and I were the same measurements, so she sewed a dress (IN A WEEK!) and fit it to her. When I arrived in Calgary from Vancouver a day before the wedding, I tried it on. It fit exactly right. Pretty cool to have a sister that selfless with her time.

But THIS time, I tried on dress after dress. It was cute to watch Babbling Brook get super super excited with EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. We brought the camera, and she went to town taking photos of every dress I tried on, even pictures of the wall, the chair, the veils....

All in all, it was a fun experience. It was good to try on a bunch of different styles so I could know what TYPE of dress I'd like best.

And when they say when you find THE ONE, you just know?

Yah. We totally had that moment. It made me feel shiny. It got us allllll excited. It inspired hair accessories and visions and squeals. It's so pretty. We even tried on others AFTER that one, and nothing made me feel like that one.

Then we scoured for shoes, checked out flowers... had a total "girlie/wedding" night.
I even managed to get Will to agree to the wording for the invitations without pulling too many teeth, although, I'm pretty sure guys have a daily allotment of wedding planning before their heads explode, so that was the extent of our decisions for yesterday.


And it's Wednesday, so time for Jillybean's Word Verification Wednesday. Type in the word verification in the comment section, and make up a dictionary definition to go along with it. Play as much as you want, and if you don't like the word, just refresh the page for a new one.

Have fun!

Wednesday Ws and Word Verification Wednesday

Who: The Master of The House
What: Has a master plan
Where: The master bedroom, the basement, the kids' bedrooms, the overgrown gardens
When: allllllll week
Why: because the house is being sold. For sure. And masterfully skilled me gets to get the place all spic-and-span before next week, when I plan to list it. That's cleaning carpet. That's painting/mudding/sanding/fixing/washing walls. That's the .....*eeek* basement. ORRR the Garage!! So, if I'm MIA, you'll find me crying curled in a ball trying to avoid the kids too many mightie Mouses...ew spiders and cobwebs. Cleaning the masterful mess. Don't make me clean. You won't like me when I'm cleaning!

Who: YOU!
What: are invited to play along
Where: Down below, in the comment section
When: This morning, this afternoon, this evening-- whenever!
Why: it's Word Verification Wednesday, thanks to Jillene. So, play as many times as you like!

And...discuss.

There's a delicate balance I need to figure out, so I'm opening up the floor to you wiser peoples for your opinions.

How much of your OLD relationship do you bring into a new one?

• How much is inevitable? Do bad habits ALWAYS stay, no matter how hard you try? If you're bound and determined to change them, don't you kinda always have to have them on your mind? And are some things just impossible, as hard as you try, to change about yourself? Engrained into your soul, part of you? How much SHOULD you bring in?
  

How much does the NEW person need to know?

• Like, do you start AGAIN, clean slate, and it doesn't matter what happened in the past? Or what others thought. Or what happened before you came along? What was said? What went wrong? What was done? Do you need to know their previous story about their past relationship to know if you can handle that in the future? Do you need BOTH sides of the story?
  

Are you better off knowing? or is ignorance really bliss? Does ones past always foretell the future?




*it's Wednesday. Don't forget word verification!!!*

Word Verification Wednesday, and I'm NOT Blogging About Recent Drama!

It's Wednesday today. I have nothing noteworthy to blog about. I considered blogging about my weekend 'drama' with Chris and "Kay" (his girlfriend) and how Chris wanted to stay in my house while I was out of town this past weekend so that he didn't have to deal with his roommate who is anal retentive and doesn't really like kids and when I asked him if Kay and her kids would be here too, he said yes and I was a bit uncomfortable about that but reluctantly agreed but when they got to the house I was still here because I hadn't left yet and Kay didn't come in to meet me when she had the chance and so I felt disrespected because who in their right mind asks to stay in someone's home that they aren't willing to meet the hostess first and seriously, I'm supposed to meet her before the kids did, but so much for that theory and what the heck happened to Chris and my agreements regarding all of that and yes I know things with Will didn't exactly go as planned either but that's not a reason to make two wrongs into an attempt at a right and how when I told Chris I was annoyed by the fact that she didn't want to come in to meet me and that she was no longer invited to stay here because I can't handle the immaturity and he stormed away from me without acknowledging he heard me or defending himself or her or ANYTHING and seriously if she was worried about it being awkward then she's got another thing coming for her when she DOES decide to meet me because if you ask me it's already awkwardER now and then I find out that he never even ASKED her if she wanted to meet me but simply assumed it was what she'd say but turns out she ended up asking him about it later too which makes me wonder if in reality HE didn't want us to meet which only bugs me further and when I called him on that he apologized and things are all better now and worked out with all parties involved so, NO, I won't be blogging about that afterall! ;)

Instead, I'll remind you all that it's Wednesday and time to play along with Jillybean at Thou Shalt Not Whine. Define your word verification, and have a GREAT Chocolate Wednesday!

Where There's a Will

Okay,
It's Thursday. I am sunburnt. yep. TOTALLY sunburnt from Monday afternoon, when I went outside with the kidlets and wrote in my paper journal on the deck. I was out for about an hour, but came in, SUNBURNT!!! Wow.

Then. Today I was up and got to shovel my driveway. Sunburnt. Shovelling snow.

Welcome to Calgary.
Then, the bus didn't come. So, seeing as how there were too many kids for me to safely transport the school-aged ones to school by myself, they have a snow-day. AND, they have the day off tomorrow for parent-teacher interviews, so it's kinda a REALLY long weekend.

On other, non-related news, I am so unbloggified lately as if you didn't notice. Slacker over here is having a hard time finding fodder to share. Not that I don't have THINGS worth blogging about, but it's nothing anyone else really finds that entertaining. That, and I found out recently that Will's exwife-to-be also reads my blog. Um, wierd, but whatever. Apparently she tried to use it as ammunition to hurt him, which only works if she actually thinks that what I write in the blog is the whole story. She's not very friendly to me, but whatever. I wrote her another post the other day-- one similar to the one I wrote for EF, but it was TOTALLY full of 'blue air", and have decided just to keep it in my back pocket for another day. Stay tuned for it, I may just air it eventually. :P Nonetheless, everyone say Hi to Sarah.

But, I will share a few pics he so awesomely sent me to share with "my peeps" here on the blog. From the past weekend. (no, no swimming pool shots-- THANKGOODNESS!!) (My personal fave-- awww)

And, we're taking polls for what Will's last name should be! He and I sat around laughing this morning at funny last names.
Our favourite was "Spank". HAH!

So, seeing as we missed Word Verification Wednesday yesterday because of my Idon'tfeellikebloggingaboutthegaymissionaryinourward attitude (NOT joking about that last part!), let's play What's Will's Last Name?

A Million "themes" for the Day.

It's April Fools' Day. NAY. I hate this day. It's kinda childish-- and not in the "I'm young at heart" childish way, more like the "I don't wipe my own butt" annoying childish way. Chris says I used to try to 'get' him, but I don't remember that. Clearly I'm much cooler than that now. (yay?)

But it IS Word Verfication Wednesday. Yay. And Wednesday Ws, which I don't have the inclination to do today. Nay. It's also Chocolate Wednesday. Yay. And some people call it hump day. (I don't even want to SAY if this is a yay or nay for fear of being taken the wrong way!) So really, Wednesday could be a really cool day of the week. Better than Tuesday, at least! ;) But, it's the start to a new month, which is ALWAYS a good thing-- a month of 'spring-ness'. Yay. Which translates into flowers and sunshine. YAY. And floods. Nay. And I am down two permanent kids as of today (nay)-- the day seems SOOO quiet. YAY. It's kinda nice-- I'll get so much done this month, so I'm happy for the break. YAY. Although, this week sometime I'll be putting up new signs for more childcare, which means I'll be doing interviews again. NAY.

Selling Girl Guide cookies, for you locals who want some. They're the chocolate and vanilla sandwich type. Yay. NOT the nasty mint chocolate ones. NAY!!! If I don't sell them to our ASSIGNED route, I end up with all these cookies in my home. Nay. Buy them!!!!!! i do NOT want them! I say Nay Nay!~

(Dont' forget to play Word Verification Wednesday!)

Wednesday Ws and Word Verification Wednesday

Who: All you 'lurkers' out there
What: are being "called out"
Where: here on the blog during Word Verification Wednesday
When: Today
Why: My sister recently told me of a meeting with a friend of hers. She said that her friend was over at her house, and saw a picture of me. "Who is that?!" When my sister said who it was, the friend got excited, and confessed that she 'stalks' my blog (Hi Tan!) and sometimes checks a few times a day. I was "blogmarted". Then they talked about stuff IN this blog-- namely, Will.
"And Will-- I think he lives here!"
Sister smiles, "yes, I think maybe he does."
That's when Tan realized that my sister has MET Will, and yes, Will lives in their area. Funtimes. So, Will got blogmarted too.

So, in light of this conversation, I'd like to call all you lurkers out. Just say hi. Leave a name or don't-- doesn't matter. We're just happy you're here. And by we, obviously I mean me. It's easy today-- play Word Verification Wednesday, and join me! :) I was checking the stats with Will last night, and figured out that there was 108 DIFFERENT people who checked the blog yesterday-- let's see who you are. Where you're from! What you think. Join the party!



It's Jillybean's Word Verification Wednesday. Play along below!

Wednesday Ws and Word Verification Wednesday

For More Word Verification Wednesdays, visit Jillybean at Thou Shalt Not Whine and play along.


Who: Me
What: wants to introduce "Will"
Where: here on the blog
When: right now!
Why: because the time has come. The time is now. :) (points for those who know the book that's from)

I mentioned a few posts ago how I went on a date and said I'd talk more about it later. Well, here it is. :) I've been dating Will for a while now. It was a tough thing for me to tell anyone about for a few reasons: One, I knew that dating anyone so quickly after Chris runs the risk of a serious rebound issue. And Two, I'm still legally married. But, mostly, Three, because Will is awesomely incredible and I didn't want to share him.

1) serious rebound? No. I admit, I worried about that, quite intensely, for about a week. It was during that week, and subsequent weeks and dates later, that I realized that there was a very definite reason that Will came into my life when he did. Situations out of my control. Timing was everything. There were spiritual moments that showed me that this is the right path at the moment. I can't explain it. I don't need to. What I feel, spiritually, never needs explaining to anyone.

2) Still legally married. This is a big deal to me, as many of you 'old followers' would know. When Chris left last summer, it was deep in my mind that, no matter what, I was not going to be a hypocrite and 'cheat' on my marriage. Having said that, Will and I were friends before we were 'dating'. We are both going through our own divorces, and we became sounding boards for our trials in that process. MOST of the time, we were talking about our soon-to-be exes, and what went wrong on either side. But, there was something about him that made me realize this friend was amazing. Do I need to date him to have that friendship-- nope. And I love that. In telling my bishop about it, I realized that dating him wasn't inherently WRONG in the way of black and white that most people see it. But there are a lot of people who believe we shouldn't date because we're both still legally married. They will be happy to know, that, truth be told, we're not 'dating' the same way anymore anyways. Because we CAN wait until our marriages are through. So, at this time, Will is my incredibly astounding friend who can't wait to date me! ;) And I him. We still talk. We still build our relationship. We just do it at a physical distance. Will lives 2 hours away anyways, and since I have my kids around most of the time(who aren't allowed to meet any potential suitors for 3 months of serious dating anyways) us dating is difficult as it is.

3) And three. Sharing Will with you all scares me. Putting something special out there for people to 'attack'. But, in order for my new story to emerge, you need to know about him. He's a main player now.

Will has been the best spiritual, non-family male influence on me that I've ever known. Honestly, ever. And whatever his role is in my life, for the present time, I'm happy to have him in the way he's in it today. God put him here for now. To teach me about the other sides of divorce, about what marriage should be, and about being the right person in order to get my goals.

And, for right now, I'm working on me. It's the next step. I don't need to think about my future with or without Will. My progression in today's path will eventually show me the right direction for the next paths.

So, without further adieu, meet Will. He's awesome.


My word Verification: (don't forget to play along in the comments!)
Unpigd - (Verb)- to learn manners. Also see: for a female to get divorced. (lol)

Wednesday Ws and Word Verification Wednesday

Who: Babbling Brook
What: had a conversation with me
Where: in the car
When: this morning while waiting at the bus stop
Why: because she's cute.

Brook- You and my Uncle should be a good couple... he's having a divortion too!

BAAHAHAH, divortion. Like killing a full-grown, adult baby! haha. I am now loving that word. lol

Who: Me
What: is coping
Where: inside my heart
When: a little more each day
Why: because I have amazing friends. I have made new friendships with people in similar situations and have enjoyed 'comparing notes' and confidences. I have friends, tried and tested, who have stuck by my side through every tear and complaint. I have friends who bring cookies, send little love notes or packages, and speak in certain love languages that are touching and humbling. I hope I can be that friend to these people that they are to me.
And, because I have amazing family. Parents who are there for me whenever I ask. Sisters, who amidst their own phenomenal pain and hurt, have listened to my fears and failures, and have loved me in spite of my faults. Who support me more than anyone ever can. Brothers who hug and call and write messages. I feel loved more and more, and so less alone than ever.

And, because I have amazing faith.
I know I confuse people. But my faith in God and Jesus and the atonement are really bringing me through this. I know I 'chose' Chris to leave. But let's remember, it's never an easy choice to make when a marriage is at stake. It hurts. But sometimes the right choice is the hardest one to make.
So I thank my blogger friends I've never met but love completely, my neighbours, my ward, my dayhome mothers who are my friends as well, my separated/divorcing/divorced friends who 'get me', my Eight Gothic Vagina girls, and everyone who fits into any category above. Thank you. I've needed you.






And that's right. It's Chocolate Wednesday. I will not be having Chocolate today. And I'm okay with that. Besides, I'm not really into Chocolate lately. I'm more into the Candy thing, and had far too much Candy last night. lol.. and I loved it.

Being Wednesday, it's time to play along with Word Verification Wednesday, courtesy of Jillybean. Everyone join in!

My Verification Explanation today:
nernab

kidnapping a computer geek

Okay, Okay, I'll Blog already- Wednesday Ws

It's been a month of Sundays since I did this, so, without further adieu, I present Wednesday Ws.

Who: Chris
What: surprised me
Where: sitting here at the computer
When: Last night
Why: he decided to read this blog. It's always good when he reads it-- it lets him kinda get into my 'head' a bit. Not that I don't tell him the same things I say here, but he says reading things is sometimes easier than hearing them. So, he sat and read the past few entries. The one with my friend and my conversation, the one about Nourishing... then he's all.. "uh, where is today's post?!" but I hadn't written yesterday, so I guess I should write today.
I don't know what he thinks about what he read. But I do know he gets me a lot more than I thought he did.
Today he told me that he doesn't think this will work out. Not because of anything on his part, but because of things I say or the way I am thinking lately.
I'm not sure he's wrong. But I am not sure he's right. I mean, I want this to work. I love him, he loves me (and I know that now), we don't fight about money like most people, we communicate what *I* see as fairly well, and we enjoy each other. So why doesn't this have potential?? Me.
I was talking to a friend who is also going through a divorce right now, and they asked me, "What do you want?". I replied, "I want to love without thinking again. Like I used to."
Is that possible? I don't know if I will ever 'love without thinking' anyone ever again. Or is it just not with Chris? Am I permanently damaged goods now? Never giving that up? I mean, I'm technically AFRAID to give it up-- I still have the emails from EF to Chris and from Chris to EF on my computer. And, the other day, I re-read them. Which only puts me into a horribly sad mood. And yes, I did it to myself. And I'm dumb for doing it. And I have ALL the power to erase those. But, something in me can't. Like I'm afraid of 'forgetting'. Or moving on-- moving on means changing something in a way I don't get to control? Maybe I would finally move on with Chris if I got rid of those. And EF. (I'm seriously contemplating telling her that I need her out of my life-- but we'll see. )

Who: Me
What: ate meat
Where: at my kitchen table
When: last night for dinner
Why: we had the 'mormonaries' (aka: missionaries) over for dinner last night. They know I'm doing the raw vegan thing, but I feel bad forcing others to eat it. So I made ribs. And, lemme tell ya.

It was SUPER delicious.

Man, I miss meat!!! THANKFULLY, my tummy didn't get upset with it, and I feel fine. But, I was back to my shake this morning. mmm. Berries and Flax, nothing better. And snap peas for snack. And Avocados. And all yummy goodness. For lunch, I'm making seasoned yam wedges-- by the way, they taste SO good, I feel like I'm cheating every time I eat them! And I've had a head cold for a week or so-- I especially like the pumpkin-orange goop left in the Kleenex after I eat that! LOL A few chickpeas and hummus and almonds and other veggies to round out lunch-- making me hungry!

Who: Seeley Carpet Cleaners
What: call nearly EVERY month
Where: ???? (doesn't apply)
When: uh. Every month. Keep up, eh?!
Why: to con me into using their cheap-arse carpet cleaning services. I hate professional carpet cleaning-- they do a TERRIBLE job. Me and Safeway's Rug Doctor do 5x a better job thankyouverymuch. HOWEVER, they also do furnaces. For ONCE, when I needed my furnace done, they actually phoned at a convenient time! So, Saturday, my home will be flushed of all germy nasty spores and my furnace will be running like...well... like a furnace!

Who: My girlfriend, my parents, and my brother
What: will be sleeping
Where: in my home
When: from tonight until the weekend is done
Why: Girlfriend has a convention in town and needs a place to sleep and eat. No problem, although, since Chris is officially 'OUT' by tonight, I'll be doing the single-mom thing again and will likely be running around with 3 monkeys every night... to do crap like get valentines made for school... which isn't even held on Valentine's Day... which meant I thought I got out of dumb stuff like that...which means I don't... which means I now will have a million square pieces of Sponge Bob valentines to pick up around the house... and chocolate wrappers... which is only annoying because I don't get to eat any of the chocolate.., because I'm raw vegan...and because Chris won't be giving me a Valentine's present...because I think Valentine's is a stupid holiday... and I've told him not to...which only means he should anyways... although, is he technically my valentine considering I've practically kicked him out?.. Not sure how much fun of a hostess I'm gonna be. LOL.
My parents are only here for a night on their way to a cruise. Yah. nice. I wanna go away. In fact, I was telling Chris that I am seriously contemplating taking a few days off and going somewhere warm. Like, beach-warm. Alone. 100% completely alone. Because I need to get away for a bit. Alas, I have a job.

Who: you guys
What: need to play along'
Where: below in the 'comment section'
When: today, Word Verification Wednesday, of course
Why: because it's fun. And I like reading your funny answers. Not sure what Word Verification Wednesday is? Check out Jillybean at Thou Shalt Not Whine to play along. Good times are had all over bloggyland.

Verification Explanation

I have LITERALLY started four different posts for today.

Each time I get a few paragraphs down, I realize that even *I* am bored of my lack of eloquence today, so it gets deleted. Grr for brainfarts. I think it's just that I'm tired from 8GV night last night. *I love me some Gothic Vaginas. They rock.

So, instead of me 'entertaining' you (let's pretend that's why you come here, just to make myself feel important!:) ), *YOU* get to play my game and entertain ME. I can't remember whose blog I saw this on, (if it's yours, speak up so I can add a link to your page and make you famous!) but I had so much fun with it, and found it so funny, that I knew I wanted to indulge the rest of you. And, because it's not my idea (not like it would matter if it was), play along on YOUR blog if you like!

***edit: Thanks to JillyBean at Thou Shalt Not Whine, where this idea stemmed from. She runs the game every Wednesday, if you wanna play, visit!

Today, because of my lack of motivational things to talk about, we're gonna play what I'm gonna call "Verification Explanation!"



In the comment box, write what word verification you are expected to type. And make up an explanation to describe what that word means. Fun stuff. The one above is just a silly example- Check out the comment section for my *real* example.

Go..

Leave a comment! it's the easiest comment you'll ever make, seeing as it's already there for ya! ;)





***
Oh, and in case you're keeping track of the score... last night was attempt #3.

SCORE:
Chris' need for me to know when "What do you Think" means "Tell me things I want to hear": increased

Debbi's points for waiting for the "What do you Think?" question: revoked.



It's beginning to look like a LONG season and a losing streak! :S