Burning Questions Answered

Here's your questions answered from the last post. If you still have more questions, add them to the post here, and I'll answer them.

• What are your feelings on your new "twins"? Would you change anything? How has it changed you if it has? Or your relationships? How BIG are they? -Anon #1 (although, I know who you are. BOOBS right back, silly! LOL) I LOVE THEM!! I thought, at first, they were too big. But they're settled now, and proportionate, and, incredibly, smaller than they were at the beginning of X-Weighted. So, I've in fact been BIGGER than this!! Whouda thunk?! I wouldn't change anything, no. It was a simple surgery, a great doctor, a great price, and I LOVE THEM. It makes me feel sexier, for SURE! I like wearing clothes (tops) MUCH more. I feel more like the 'me' in my head. My relationships? Well, considering that the only relationship I have is with Chris, it didn't change much. Yah, he thinks they're nice, but that's not a 'relationship changing' surgery. Or, in my opinion, it SHOULDN'T be! As for other friend-relationships: I don't know how they affected it-- why don't you tell ME!? Family: I am loved by people who may shake their heads at my choices, but love me anyways. They're great family. How big are they??? LOL-- SSSSEEEEECCCCRRREEETTTT!! LOL Okay okay. They're 32 Gs.
• Are you and Chris back together? -Anon #2 ( let's just assume that each Anon in this entry is a separate person) No, not really. We're talking about becoming such, and he spends a lot of time with us, but that will take a LONG time to decide. I will not rush into this. There's too much to discuss and determine and figure out before that is decided. See Anon #6's question for further conversation on this.
  
  
• Do you think I am crazy?! Do I sound as messed up as I think I do? (referring to last night) -DebbieJo DJo: This is something we could talk about personally. But no, you're not crazy. You're depressed and postpartum, which is something I have been and something I can definitely relate to. It is hard to be a new mom and a wife and a friend and a daughter and LDS and and and... sometimes things seem out of order and way above your head. That black cloud, as much as you WILL it to go away, just doesn't. I get you. Where you are is where I've been. But you need to find help. For real. And as much as the GVs can help you release your emotions, we're not professionals. Lastly, you already know what I have to say to you. You just need to start believing it. And you will, when you're ready.
  
  
• Are you sleeping with Chris? -Anon #3 I am not a private person, nor do I have ANY secrets.. But this is a sort of question that Chris would be upset that I answered because he'd feel it doesn't matter what the answer is-- you don't need to know. (See the following question about if he reads the blog.) You and I can both realize that no matter WHAT I answer to this, it will sound like a "yes", so basically, I'm doomed if I don't answer, doomed if I do. (If I answer, I've broken my agreement with Chris) Those who are close to me already know how I feel about the thought of sleeping with Chris, so if you don't already know, it's probably because we're not close and I don't feel the need to confide in you. (not trying to be offensive, but it's the truth. If I know you, and you asked me PERSONALLY - not anonymously or on a blog where strangers hide, I would answer you with a yes or a no)
  
  
• Does Chris read this blog? If so, what does he think of it?! -Anon #4 No, in general he doesn't read this blog. In fact, he hates this blog. He's only read a few entries... This one. (and the one that prefaced it) And This one. And this one he edited, as I was fairly upset and wanted to make sure that I didn't say something that would be misunderstood or hurtful. In general, he feels that I tell too many things to too many people (although, he knows that's just the type of person I am), and strangers who don't know him know more about him than some of his friends do. He doesn't like me sharing things about US, as he thinks it's not anyone's business. And he's right. So, since he's voiced that opinion to me, I've tried not to share our REALLY private conversations and respect that request from him.
  
  
• Do you pick your nose? -Kat Uh, YAH I DO!! Feels good, too! Seriously? Don't you?
• If, Heaven forbid, something awful happened to the kidlets and they were no longer here, would you regret being with someone who's had a vasectomy? Would you want more "birth" kids? Would you adopt? Or would you be "done", anyways? -Kare Kare, you're a brat! LOL Okay. No, I would never regret being with someone who's had a vasectomy. It's reversible, if we BOTH wanted to birth more kids. And secondly, I didn't decide to spend my life with his sperm! (hahahahah, that sounds SO gross) I don't think I'd want more 'birth' kids, no. I'd decide that later, but (assuming I'm with Chris) we HAVE three kids. They're still our babies. I would adopt, yes. I may adopt later in life, though, and get my nursing degree BEFORE that. THAT BEING SAID, if I wanted more kids and was married to someone ELSE (not Chris), I would consider having more birth babies.
• What do you do or where do you go if you want/need time for yourself? (I mean other than GV nights). -Claudine Well, other than TV or watching sappy movies, sometimes I run or go for a walk. Or I hit the stores. I'm a bit of a retail-therapy girl, although most times I enjoy just walking the mall and buying NOTHING.
  
  
• Anything you'd say to me that you don't?-Kiki No. I think you know me well enough to know that I pretty much love you to death and have said what I think about you to you already! LOL You already know you rock, you make me love you more and more each time I watch you dance (ROFL!) and you're WAY TOO PICKY about guys! hahaha. (meh, but what do I know about picking guys?!!!!) And lastly, any guy who 'keeps' you is in for the funniest, quirkiest, most talented, most loving and spiritually uplifting time of eternity.
• How on earth did you guys come up with GV, as the title of your girls night? (the real meaning of GV )I'm sure it's an interesting story! -Cheryl 8GVs stands for '8 Gothic Vaginas'. There's not 8 of us, before you ask. It started one night-- a very LATE night, while we were watching TV at one of our homes. We were watching MTV's Video On Trial. This one judge (this one) kept giving really funny 'verdicts', and, since EVERYTHING is funny when it's late at night, they kept getting better and better. At one point, she gave a video "8 Gothic Vaginas out of 10", and for some reason, we loved it. A few weeks later, a husband of ours commented that our stupid "cult" needed a name. We brainstormed, and when '8 Gothic Vaginas' was selected, it just seemed to work. Thus, 8GVs was born. Shirts and 'titles', hand signs, and logos came later. haha. Oh, and we only kill chickens every Third Thursday on full moons.
  
  
• Has it been hard to maintain you weight loss? What's your current weight? -Anon#5 Actually, no, it's not hard to maintain the weightloss. I am up about 10 pounds from the lowest I got (so, for those who are keeping track, I'm at about 147) but I also haven't been running AT ALL since returning from B@@bapalooza. That trip (well, the surgery, not the trip itself) put on 15 pounds. Then I lost about 10. Because of my no-running, I'm at about 5 pounds up. So, I'm gonna work on that, and hopefully keep going back to the 137 I was at. or less. healthy is most important to me, and without running, I'm starting to feel much less healthy.
  
  
• If you haven't gotten your "job", do you think it would of made a difference in your relationship with Chris, as it now stands. Do you think people can really be sincere and actually change and start over in such a short time? Do you ever worry about STD's? -Anon#6 Wow, three good ones. Funny, there's a lot of Anons interested in my love life. lol No, my boobjob didn't affect my relationship with Chris as it now stands. Like I've said many times, it was talked about YEARS AGO with him. More importantly,my body-shape isn't his type anyways. Not that anyone probably wanted to know, but Chris is a butt-guy, not a boob-guy. lol
  
  
  • (I'm double-bulleting this because your three GREAT questions are all very distinct and I don't want them to be lost or misunderstood) I do think it's possible for people to really be sincere and actually change and start over in short periods of time. I believe it can even happen overnight, like Alma the Younger. But, I'll assume here that you're talking about Chris or EF. Well, it hasn't been overnight. It's been months of therapy, months of HUGE changes to lifestyles, and months of serious contemplation and conversation. ANNNNDD, I'm not thinking 'Oh wow, they're perfect and 100% changed.' I'm taking things slowly with Chris for many reasons, one of them being to test how sincere those good changes truly are. And EF, I'm keeping at a distance for now.
    
    
  • I don't worry about STDs, no. I mean, I did, after the whole EF thing. But I MADE Chris get tested as soon as I found out, and I got tested a day or two after he did. We were both negative, thank goodness. So, I *DID* worry about it, but I don't today.
• Do you still have those HOLY CRAP days, or have you found a solution? -Marci BAHAHAHAH!!! yes, Marci, I have found a few solutions. :P Although, don't even YOU get HOLY CRAP days?!!!!! ;)
• What do you REALLY think about all your family members? Are there any you don't get on with or understand? Will you really tell truthful answers to all these questions or just what people want to hear? -Anon What I REALLY think about all my family members really depends on how far into my family we get. My kids and my husband; I think it's fairly obvious how I feel about them. My parents: see this blog entry . My sisters, although sometimes we don't agree on lifestyles or choices, are my biggest supporters and sounding boards and shoulders to lean on. They make me the happiest sister in the world. My brothers are similar, but a bond with sisters is hard to explain. I am lucky to be in their family. My grandparents and aunts and uncles, cousins and extended relatives are all special in different ways. But some I get along with better than others. Some I don't even talk to more than once every funeral or wedding. But none that I am 'fighting with' and none that I wouldn't be friendly to. With such a large extended family, there's bound to be some I don't 'understand'. But I also think that's because I don't really know some of them. I've felt judged by some extended family members, but they're my family. And don't we ALL have a few whack-jobs in our families? LOL
  
  
  • And yes. I have been 100% truthful in ALL these answers. My girlfriend, upon seeing this question on the last post, wrote an answer for me: "That's right, anon, you figured me out. I only started this discussion so that I could lie to everyone and fake you all out. I mean, why in the world would I bother to actually answer the questions you all took time to ask? You're right. I should just BS some of my answers, and see if you have the brains to figure out which is which." But, I actually think I'll answer it my way, although her way was entertaining.
    
    I don't really find a reason for telling lies on a blog about ME that *I* write. Lately, it's been something of a journal for me, and that'd be dumb of me to write 'history' incorrectly. Secondly, I don't know what people 'want' to hear-- and, given reactions to previous things in my blog, there's no way to say something to please EVERYONE! You may want one answer, while someone else wants another. It'd be like some people being happy if Chris and I stay together (which, there are many readers here and many non-readers who would be) and some people who'd like nothing more than for us to part (again, I know of some readers AND some non-readers who feel that way). I don't aim to do anything but inform and answer and bring you in to parts of my life as well as I know how. Besides, *I* get to decide, in my honesty, how MUCH information to share. tee hee hee
    
    I know there are a few readers who are going through (or have gone through) what I am currently going through. By being honest, I validate their feelings while validating my own. We are depending on each other so we don't feel as alone in a tumultuous time of life. It's good to have others who can relate. On the other hand, I want to explain what it's like to be in my shoes so that people who AREN'T going through this will hopefully be less judgemental to people who are because they've heard my heart and know what I'm feeling. I have learned that by being vulnerable and honest, people understand that (and can FEEL that) better than if I TRIED to be something I *think* people want me to be. Sorry for the Long-winded answer, but it's also the most important.
    
    
• Other than being a nurse, what else would you like to be or do? -Cyn I answered this before (see 57 or 69 on the link), but thanks a lot for paying attention, Chee! haha. I thought about being an interior decorator (I like home fashion, etc), or a psychologist/social worker. I have also thought that being an underwater basket weaving specialist would really float my boat. (har har har)

• What do you feel the purpose of your life is? Where do you see yourself in five years? If you now could tell you from before anything, what would it be? -Holy Mother Of God The purpose of MY life-- whoa. Although I'm still working on figuring it out FOR ME, I believe that life is a test. That we will return to God and be 'judged' based on our thoughts and actions. Good and bad. I believe, while I'm ON this earth, that I need to use my mortal body to lift others, to be a mother and to gain knowledge. I relate life to a 'Boy Scout' adage of "Leave things better than the way you found them" (ie: take out the garbage from the forest..ect). So, in THIS life, I hope that the world I leave behind is better for having me in it than worse.
  
  • In five years, I hope to be happily married. I hope to be in the middle of nursing school. I hope to be better financially stable and more prepared for emergencies. I hope to be healthy-- active and in good shape. And I hope to have as good friends as I have today. I havent' always had such good friends, so I hope it's not a fleeting blessing.
  • Me-Now would tell Me-From-Before nothing. I think that things are learned when we need to learn them, and ruining that would inevitably change everything after that. And I like the lessons I've learned. They make me stronger, more understanding, and more prepared for the NEXT lesson.
    Okay...actually, I'd tell Me-From-Before that it's a LIE that pregnant people are eating for two. That mentality made me WAY overweight when I didn't need to be. I may be eating for two people, but I don't need to eat , in chocolate, the WEIGHT of two people!