Conversations of Note

Okay,

yesterday was.. uh.. interesting, to say the least.

If you've put two and two together, Estranged Friend (EF) is the girlfriend of mine whom Chris had the big affair with. I figure it's all out there already anyways, so I may as well quell any confusion on said matter.

That prefaced, I went to the bus stop yesterday to pick up LL. I don't USUALLY pick her up, as I can watch her walk home from my deck-- and let's face it, I'm lazy! But yesterday the dayhome kids were all sleeping, the sun was out, so I walked to the end of the pathway to greet her. While there, EF drives by. We wave, and that's that, right? no. She gets out of her car to talk to me. .. which, I MUST SAY, is totally fine with me. I have no ill-feelings towards her- in case you're wondering.

Anyways, she asks me if I'd be willing to retake her kids in the fall, now that Chris is out of my picture. okay, not out of the picture, but out of the home.

I am torn between wanting to mend bridges, torn between the money those kids will help me with, torn with the love I have for her and those kids, but torn with the fear inside me. How can I ever introduce her to anyone I date with a sense of security? How can I confide in her like I used to when I can never be sure she's not running to Chris with everything? It makes me nervous.

I said yes. The person who I WANT to be would say yes.

THENNNNN, soccer came and Chris and I were sitting on the sidelines, watching LL. I mentioned things about me dating and such, and Chris' reaction was interesting. I ended up asking him a few hard questions, and I hope he went home and really thought about them. The tears in his eyes tell me he likely did. It was touching to see him vulnerable, and good for the both of us. We have so many obstacles to overcome still laying on the road before us, so each one accomplished is a good step toward a NEW relationship. We both agree that being divorced and being the type of 'divorcees' we want to be is going to likely be MORE work than staying together would have been!

Then I went for my run. I have done something to my knee (like, USED it! Gah!) so it's kinda hurting lately. no matter. I ran anyways, chanting "10 more pounds" over and over as motivation. I'm working on lengthening my stride while I run, so my time and exertion are improved. After, went for the ritual walk with Sin.

OH MY DANDILIONS, my knee hurts, but my butt is soooo sore! We're putting in a bunch of bench workout things, step-ups, bench hops, push ups, triceps...and for the past two times we've done the monster-butt hill! Grrrr to the hill! If it weren't for "Uncle John" cheering us on from his bench, and the protein intake of bugs, I would hate it! lol

According to WiiFit, I have the body of a 34 year old! WHA?! Cha, bite me, Wii. But at least it didn't tell me I was "too fat, get off the scale lardo!" That was Sin saying it behind me. LOL

I have 10 pounds. 10. That's all. No prob, right? RIGHT?!!!!!