I love forgiveness. I love being forgiven and the peace that brings to my soul. I love forgiving others, and the inevitable weight that releases in doing so.
Yesterday, the friend I had a falling out with ( now EF-- estranged friend) and I talked for the first time since the incident (and no, the incident doesn't have to do with the vacuum in the link, it's just a side-note-- in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't, and now I've rambled on for no good reason). And being able to forgive her last night let me let go of some hurt, and today I feel soooo much better. I haven't forgotten just yet, and I'm still afraid of being hurt again, but now that's on me. In the pain I feel, I can't imagine the pain she must feel as well. And my love for her aides me in needing to help her by giving her my forgiveness. (makes sence in my head, bear with me) My heart aches for her hurt, and I really miss her friendship. It will be a long road to friendship again, if it's even possible given the circumstances, but it's a road I have been granted.
I am so grateful for forgiveness in MY life.
I know I've hurt a lot of people in the actions of my own life, if no one other than me remembers it. And for that, I really am incredibly sorry. I know I can't take things back, but because of such a shining example of forgiveness from my Saviour, I've learned that mistakes aren't permanent and can be 'fixed' in one way or another. Sometimes I have hurt others directly, and other times the only people hurt are me.. 
Now I need to learn how to forgive myself. A task many of us fail so miserably. When I taught the Relief Society lesson a few weeks back, it was on Repentance. In that lesson, and through what others shared in class, I am glad to know it's not just me that carries unnecessary guilt when the Lord has already moved on past my indiscretion.
I apologize for any hurt I've caused you. Please accept my plea for forgiveness. Hopefully I've asked you personally at one time or another, but if you still feel like you've been wronged, please accept this for me.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A Day Of Forgiving
at 8:58 AM
Labels: EF, religion, sob stories
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2 comments:
Forgiveness for me has always been something I struggle giving others more than myself. How wrong! This poem is my favorite on the topic:
When I went to the door, at the whisper of knocking,
I saw Simeon Ganter's daughter, Kathleen standing
There, in her shawl and her shame, sent to ask
"Forgiveness Flour" for her bread. "Forgiveness Flour,"
We call it in our corner. If one has erred, one
Is sent to ask for flour of his neighbors. If they loan it
To him, that means he can stay, but if they refuse, he had
Best take himself off. I looked at Kathleen..
What a jewel of a daughter, though not much like her
Father, more's the pity. "I'll give you flour," I
Said, and went to measure it. Measuring was the rub.
If I gave too much, neighbors would think I made sin
Easy, but if I gave too little, they would label me
"Close." While I stood measuring, Joel, my husband
Came in from the mill, a great bag of flour on his
Shoulder, and seeing her there, shrinking in the
Doorway, he tossed the bag at her feet. "Here, take
All of it." And so she had flour for many loaves,
While I stood measuring.
Marguerite Stewart
I need to learn to stop measuring and throw the bag at the feet of those who need it...
I love that, Nikki! What a great poem and exactly what we all need to remember to do-- stop measuring.
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