Rollercoaster

Yesterday had it's own ups and downs.

The morning was great- first off, because LL only had a 1/2 day of school, I didn't have to make a lunch. making lunches is so NOT fun. :P I also only had one child from the dayhome, so it was a quiet day for sure.

I called my lawyer and got all the stuff figured out and set up. It wasn't a stressful conversation, so that's good. I'm happy that things will move pretty quickly since Chris and I have agreed on everything that we know of already. I'm hoping to be divorced by the end of the summer, barring any issues from the courts-- any foreseen issues from Chris and I are worked out already.

I got off the phone, and called him to tell him what is up and what needs to be done, ect. Understandably, he's feeling stressed about it all. Financially, divorce is NOT the road to monetary pleasure on either side. So, he complained to me about it. Not in a 'blame' way, but just complaining to no one in particular.

Side note-- *I* have had absolute peace (apart from a few times of sorrow) in this decision. I have felt so supported. And I know this is The Plan for me. Chris, on the other hand, is tossing and turning. Getting stressed out. Not sleeping. Sad. I am so grateful for blessings and everyone's prayers. Please add him to your list- at this point, he may need it more than I.

I went through the rest of my afternoon, tired like CRAZY from GV night before. It was a good afternoon, though, until about 3:30 when he phoned me again. Confused, I answered the phone. He told me he took care of what needed to be done on his side, and then he complained again. I was silent, shocked. Uh, I'm the LAST person to complain to about the hardships of divorce, pal! So, I asked him why he's complaining TO ME about it. He said he just wanted to talk to someone because it's bothering him.

???? WHAT?!!!!!!! So NOT the person to phone to 'talk' with. Uh, I'm sorry you don't like the way the government works. Again, at this point, my heart bleeds for you. Did you think the government was going to make this EASY on you? You walk away from your children, and you expect a reward!? GRRRR-- I finally just told him that I don't want to hear it. That being a listening ear is a wife's job, and frankly, I'm not that person for him anymore.

He fell silent. Reality is still not sinking in for him, in some way. I told him that eventually I can be that friend, but right now I need space. I need to have that first.

After that, I was in a bad mood. You know what I missed for the first time yesterday?? A male hug. A good hug from a guy-- girl hugs have wobbly-bits that touch (lol) and they're just... different. First time I missed that. It made me sad.

So, thankfully the sky cleared long enough for me to take off on a run. Thankfully Uncle was around to watch my monkeys. That run really cleared my head and the walk after with Cyn really cleared my heart. Hurts my BUTT, but heals my heart! LOL