Comfort Zones Are Meant To Be Broken

Okay. I had a crazy, eventful weekend full of "firsts" or stepping out of personal comfort zones. A weekend of serious talking, of trying new things and of defining friendships.

Friday night, Chris and I spent some time together. We watched a movie, ate food, and in general, just chilled. We talked about things again, but this time we took some actions to explore how they affected our marriage and decide what we think of them NOW compared to when we were together. I had an experience with him I had kinda been thinking about for a while. (and no, it's not sex- which is what I'm sure one or two of you are thinking) It was nice. nothing like what I assumed it to be like, but good just the same.

Saturday was Bear's investiture for Beavers (he gets his tail and scarf for his uniform). It was GORGEOUS outside, and I took advantage of getting a few new photos taken of the kids and I. I just simply love the colours of fall. And being outside at Fish Creek Park during a perfect Saturday was icing on my cake. Of course, Bear was a bit of a bum about the whole thing. ANYTIME he is in a situation that's new to him, he shies away from others and pouts about having to do ANYTHING. It took him a good few hours before he even REMOTELY joined his colony in the activities, which, you can see here-- he was pretty tentative about doing. Who doesn't like making 'rain' and singing "Ging Gang Goolie"?! And then he cried when we said we were leaving. ???? I don't get it either. But the leaders there all make such a good effort to include him and make him feel wanted, and I am truly loving them for that. This program is phenomenal and I feel extremely privileged to have access to this for my children's' sakes.

After heading out for lunch, and having naps, Gramma showed up for a few minutes after her OWN Scouting meetings, which is always nice. We love living closer to family. LL spent a good few hours with the neighbourhood children finding ladybugs-- which, lemme tell ya, was pretty cool. And gross. I don't know if you can see how many they found- but probably close to 100 are in this tiny container- no short of a lie! I like ladybugs... but THIS many ladybugs is kinda gross.

After letting them go "home to their families", we took off to a dinner appointment with our friends. It was a blast. They're really fun to hang out with, and the four of us (Chris and I and them two) get along really naturally. We hadn't really done that in a few years, and it's nice to know that time didn't matter. We were just as good friends as we always were. It was sooo fun to stay up until the wee hours of the morning just playing and laughing and having fun together. We ended up sleeping there, as the kids had gone to bed LONG ago, and Chris and I were so tired and in NO position to drive home.

Sunday was again relaxed. My good friend had told me he'd be coming into town on the weekend, so he showed up on Sunday afternoon. Wasn't AT ALL what I expected, as he's really sick and needs a place to get better for a few days. So, I'll be nursing my friend back to 'something' of health. Chris will be staying here for the week to help me, as taking care of a sick adult AND the kids is a bit stressful on me, seeing as I'm unprepared for that. I feel pretty good about the fact that he felt comfortable enough to want to come to me for help. And I'm thankful that Chris is understanding and loving and mindful of my needs AND my friend's needs-- supplying clothes and stuff for my guy-friend who practically has nothing to begin with, and being willing to stay here to help. I guess I see where Bear gets it from-- stepping out of my comfort zone isn't too hard for me, but going against my 'routine' really challenges me. And, having a male adult in my house that isn't family totally freaks me out! LOL I know, I'm so silly. But still, I feel safer with Chris here-- which is funny, because my friend would NEVER do anything to harm me or the family. But it's a mental thing that I'm kinda dumb about.

I spent most of the weekend truly evaluating how I feel about practically everything in my life. I appreciated everyone's thoughts on the post the other day. I think I agree with EVERY opinion, to an extent. I mean, I see both sides. Now I need to see what I feel about seeing those sides, and what I want to see versus what I SHOULD see. Other than my kids, I'm finding that divorce really challenges everything I've thought I knew I was sure about. I talked with a mother of a boy my age who also went through a divorce a few years ago. She and I realize that he's really doing the same thing in his life- and, after talking with yet ANOTHER person about it, that that's probably par for the course. And I am enjoying figuring those things out-- how do I really feel about myself? About my relationships? About my religion, my future plans, my convictions and morals. I think about my role in other's lives, my role in my extended family. I am soooo excited for what new discoveries lay before me about me. I've never, in all my nearly 28 years, had this much self-evaluation and inner-reflection and personal defining.

I love living with no regrets. With just feeling what I feel when I feel it. Following my heart has taken on a complete new meaning I never understood like this before! and I love it.