Aye, pick-me-up, Lad.

'Tis talk like a Pirate day, maties. Avast, me bilge rat and lily-livered squiffy, 'tis not be an easy feat to siege for a land-lubbin' wench like I be.

'Tis also annoying.

I hate this day. A lot of my friends like it, and it drives me nuts!!!

But, me not be no scallywag... I can play along. In lieu of the ever-so-classy pick up line from THIS post a few days ago, I'm posting a few Pirate-inspired pick-up lines for your reading pleasure. (wow, and some FUNKY alliteration just then!) Some are funny.. Others are.. uh.. well, you'll see.

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)

They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big. (hahaha, that one makes me laugh)

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing? (ew.)

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let's get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there. (haha, YA IT IS, BABY!! )

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!

2. RAMMING SPEED!

1. You. Pants Off. Now!

And, in remembering that post about the Sushi Dude... A little side note: I'm seriously confused with whatever it is I'm 'putting out there'. Wherever "there" is. The universe?!! ANYWHO, there is some sort of magnetic connection between me and old dudes who think it's okay to try to pick me up. I'm not talking a few years older than me, either. I'm talking OLD. Like, old enough to be my father or older! What the Freak!? A la Facebook, a la HOME DEPOT!?! Yah. Home Depot! The old dude was helping me load bags of dirt into the back of my CARSEAT INFESTED, child-ridden van, and still has the audacity to come onto me. No, I'm not making this up in my head. Why would I even WANT to!? Given, the 'audacity' probably had something to do with him being drunk. Yah. Working in the garden centre (with FORKLIFTS and stuff) and drunk. How do I know he was drunk, you ask? It's a sixth sense for me to smell alcohol on a man's breath. (*thinks, technically that's still one of the 5 senses, but whatever) It's hard not to smell booze-breath on a guy who keeps putting his face in yours, no matter how many times you pull your head back. A 'Close Talker'. Blegh.

Okay. I haven't had many pick-up lines used on me. That I knew of. But there's some good ones out there.

Had any good ones used on you!? Used one you thought was perfect?! SHARE!~