Sucky

yep yep.

Yesterday rocked. And by rocked, I mean sucked rocks. And by sucked rocks, I mean, please let me just sleep a looong looong time and make it all disappear. I contemplated taking a sleeping pill last night left over from when I heard about Chris and EF, but I ran out of those... I fell asleep before I was able to get it swallowed .. I'm too smart for that.

It was nice having a 4 minute visit with my parents and my future SIL, Nellie. Mamma bringed me some lilacs from her house, which was AWESOME... although, my Ikebana skills were NOT up to par. And by not up to par, I mean ROYAL SUCKAGE. Are we finding a trend here?! To think I spent a year in Japan taking Flower Arranging courses. You wouldn't know it after such a slaughtered bunch of flowers appeared on my kitchen table. Hey. Just be blind. Then you'll smell the gloriousness of them without having to view the massacre. Deal with it.

Yep. Then the day realllllly began. The dayhome child was cranky. And by cranky, I mean her Dad was home with a severe flu and it's likely she's coming down with it too. Oh, and she hasn't pooped for 3 days. Constipated children are a joy! I absolutely LOVE whining at a monotone. ALL. FREAKING. DAY. Moreso, I'm excited for today's reaction to the prunes, raisins, juice and fibre her mother and I are forcing down her throat. That's gonna make it a GREAT day.

But bestest of all.
I got to talk with a few Realtors. I got to talk with a bank Account Manager. I got to talk with Chris about the equity in the home.

Here's my dilemma.
One, Chris has a chunk of money of equity in this home. The number is based on what the house COULD have sold at when he moved out last year.. Uh, we've all seen the great and wonderful housing market lately, have we not? And by great and wonderful, I mean TOTALLY sucky. And by housing market, I mean, not even cardboard boxes are selling!
With this, and him not having a job, he has NO money. Which means he has to move in with his parents. 6 hours+ away. Which means my kids won't see their Dad more than once every few months. Which goes against what he and I wanted for our kids. All that 'make them feel secure with this'... down the drain.

So, I have to give him his equity in order to have him stay around. And by giving him his equity-- yah, suckity suck suck, I have to sell my house.
Besides, he isn't paying child support anymore, so I can't afford to KEEP my house. But once he gets his equity, he pays child support again, and I can pay my mortgage. Only-- yah. Are you following--- I had to sell in order for him to pay me for that mortgage. Catch 22 on that one or WHAT?!

Sooooo, instead, *I* move. I sell my home that I love. From the area I love. From the ward, and the community, and the school, and the security that I love. I move 2 hours away (where there is CHEAP houses. And by cheap, I mean that in ALL ways...) to keep the kids nearer to their father than the 6 hours it may be otherwise.

THANKFULLY, we're looking for the shotgun silver lining around here. Chris could get a job today. I could win the lottery I didn't buy a ticket for. And unicorns could fly out my butt.

• I will be closer to family. My sister is VERY excited about being 'neighbours' again. We used to live 5 minutes away from each other, and our kids loved that. We did too-- constant sitters, shopping buddies, instant "I'm out of blank, do you have" availabilities... really, what else could you need than a sister who lives close to you!? I'll be closer to my parents too.
• I always wanted my kids to live near a temple. Although Calgary is getting a temple in the future, it will be far away from us now, and it will not be seen on a daily basis.
  
• I will be free and clear of owing Chris money. We will be "done" even more. At that point, there is no more connection than the kids.
• I will OWN my own house. Houses down south are cheap in price, and most of them need some serious demolishing fixing up. But I'm dating a handy guy. And I'm not ALL snobby. I GUESS I can settle for laminate counter tops again, although *shudder* I will REALLLLLLLY miss my granite and my $15 Mocha Latte chapstick. And how is Fifi going to get her pup-icure every afternoon while I take my tennis lesson at the club?
• This is all part of my yearly "motto" to "Make The Change". Security is soo overrated.
  
• Wind isn't that bad, right? It's horrific FUN to have snow up to your armpits in May. And who doesn't love living in a town where everyone knows your business before even YOU do, everyone is related to a Beazer or a Leavitt, and no one knows their actual address.."I bought the Clarke's gramma's brother's cousin-in-law's house." "When you get to the store on the corner, go up a block (or TWENTY!) and I'm that house with the rusty...delapitated..green truck and the flowers in the front." And you guys think I'm joking. I'M SO NOT!
  
• I will be closer to Will. You know. As a side bonus! ;) In case. You know. He needs nookie sugar. *he he he From a gramma! :(