Blow Ups

WOW. Yesterday was hilarious, sad, disturbing, precious and every other descriptive word you can probably think of . Okay, maybe not a colour or a smell. Not those descriptive words (although, I'm sure we could ASSOCIATE a few smells with girls' night. lol)

Today is a good day. Not as productive in cleaning and stuff, but productive in relationships and life.

GV night was an emotional night filled with lots of tears, lots of anger, lots of FIGHTING (at Peter's we watched a serious fight break out..) lots of joy.

After last night's GV night, trying to explain to the girls why Chris and I are where we're at, listening to other's marital/relationship issues and all that, I came home at 2 and talked with Chris. My heart aches for him. For his lack of direction, for his pain, for his confusion. I just want to take his issues and fix them, just like I would my children. Thing is, I'm not his mother, I'm his wife. And my love will never FIX something he can't find is broken. I just wish I could give him the knowledge I have about life, spirituality, marriage, HIM, direction.

I have others I confide in who are giving me gobs of strength. I have never felt so blessed. Really. I have those who make me laugh, and even a few who make me look to the possibility of a future without Chris with some degree of excitement. Judge or not, it's how it is.