Issues Episodes: Divide and Conquer

I run a dayhome.



I love having my own business- doing things MY way. In MY home. With MY kids.
I love making money. I feel like I'm contributing to my family's well-being. I feel needed, appreciated, and valued. And, if I end up divorced from Chris, I need it to stay in my home and keep my children's stability to the best degree that I can.

I am used to children.
I have had difficult children in my home, difficult parents, difficult situations. I have made or deepened friendships with the families with children in my care.
I have had too little children in the home.
I have had too many children in my home.


I know the difference. My limit of 'sanity' is not your limit. My idea of what's safe may be different than yours. My idea of love is also different. My idea of a dayhome may differ from yours too. I treat these kids as my own. The families who have used me and liked me VALUE that. I am honest in my expectations of the children AND their parents when I take a new child in.

There are many kids here lately. Some are full-time. Some are not.
But they make a mess. They eat a LOT of food. They require lots of hugs. They fight. They cry. They scream.
They test me. They lie. They break things. They hurt each other. They hurt themselves. They laugh. They play. They learn. They experiment. They imagine. They grow.

And yes... this is normal for a daycare.


For one, I'm stressed because of EF's children being added to the mix. I'm stressed because I have a younger baby again-- something I haven't had for a while, and I'm still getting used to someone who eats ANYTHING on the floor. I have older kids who play with pennies and marbles, and, in cases of toys- I have had to throw out any possible choking hazards. In the case of money, I am CONSTANTLY adding to my penny jar. It stresses me out to think that, any nook or cranny that isn't spotless is a potential danger to that baby.

Like most moms of young kids, I have a hard time keeping a spotless house. And now I feel like I HAVE to, not only because I should.

My house is 'baby proofed'. But still. Fear. Sometimes babies hurt themselves without even being near obvious 'danger'.

I'm stressed because getting into new routines is hard. Remembering who can eat what is tricky. Who needs a nap? Who's crying? Who's stinky? Who hasn't been changed for a while? Whose diaper is this? Whose socks are these? Where's your soother, your blankie, your sippy cup, your parents!!!??

I'm stressed that being housebound because I don't have enough car-seats to safely transport the kids is something I've never encountered. I don't like that feeling. I don't like that if my daughter or son get hurt at school, I have a hard time finding a way to get to them in the middle of the day. I can't volunteer at their school. I hate feeling confined to an hour of 'errand time' between dinner and bedtime to take my kids with me and get what I need. First off- AS IF that's enough time. That's on top of homework and Beavers or whatever else comes in.

Who knows how long Child A is gonna be here anyways? Dayhomes have a high turn-over. People move, change jobs, stop working, don't mesh with your style, sleep with your husband...

I take what I can, when I can. Holidays and sicknesses and 'quits' affect my income, and, like any variable-amount job, I take the money when it comes so that the slower/quieter months are sustained.

Taking new kids is stressful.

I have potty-trained. I have taught to walk. To go up AND down stairs (yes, by example-- which I'm sure is humourous to watch). I've helped with homework. At the end of the day, I have provided what their parent's couldn't either by choice or necessity. That gives me pride. And, at the end of the day, I get hugs. And I get kisses. And, on rare occasion, they choose me over their parents. (muahahah) Which makes me smile once the door is closed. Unlike adults, children don't pretend to like you if they don't. So, I'm happy when they seem to return the love I have for them.

And, in case you're wondering,
Sometimes it's stressful, but I WANT this job. I LIKE this job. I've CHOSEN this job.