For the next couple of posts, unless something else strikes me as blog-worthy, I'm going to go through what's going on.
I'm sorry. This is my mental diarrhea. You get to wade through it if you so please.
There's LOTS of things, but none of them seem to be more pressing than others. This is my year to "Make The Change". But, I'm not really sure what to 'fix' since I don't know what the major issue is that needs fixing. I'm afraid to change one thing, for fear of finding out it's not the thing that needed changing and possibly 'shooting myself in the foot' because of a rash decision.
The points I'll touch on, to name a few. They're not necessarily in order of posts-to-come, or even of importance. They're just the things that are contributing to my solicitude.
- Things with Chris are good. He's doing great, I'm just not sure yet. But I'm biding my time and waiting for clarity. Although I feel like I need to make a choice, about being with him or not, I refuse to make that choice just yet. I need to make it with a clear head, and I don't have that currently.
- The dayhome is busy.
- I'm not sleeping well. Money was tighter this month, but should be better (see: busy dayhome!;) ) next month.
- Any moment, EF could call me with her needing to bring her kids to my dayhome.
- I'm training for a marathon in the spring, (I've jumped off that bandwagon this past week because of this 'mental-case-ness') and, although only ONE person in my life understands this:
- I haven't dropped a single pound. But I just didn't feel like doing anything.
- Church is fine, but I'm trying to balance religion into what WORKS for my life, basically.
- February first, (inspired greatly by new friend, Kelly at Beauty of Expression.) I'm starting a vegetarian/raw/vegan diet. The vegan part, not so much, and raw will be MOST of the vegetable-form of food.
So. I'm gonna write. It helps me.
So you know, though, there will be BOTH sides to these issues, and not always on the same post. So be careful (and considerate pls) about what comments you make. You may not have received the whole story yet.
12 comments:
Wow, good luck with that diet! I don't think I could do it!
I hope whatever it is you can figure it out.
This may sound lame to you but try Yoga. It made me feel down right Zen after yesterday's bullshit which ended up with me screaming fuck you at my dad.
Yoga is good.
You are fabulous and I love you to bits! I just know you'll work things out and if writing helps (I know it does for me) then we'll be here to snoop (oops, I meant be supportive!).
Love ya!
Things will all fall into place. Just follow your heart and I totally understand how writting helps. I am the same way!!
Good luck with the new diet!! I don't think that I could ever do it!!
Hey, sorry about all the stuff you have going one right now.
As for the raw vegan diet, I have tonnes of books and tapes and stuff on it that I will lend you if you like. I gave it a try for a while, and bought stuff like crazy. My dear sis lost a ton of weight on it and was super healthy, and my bro and his wife follow it too. As do my other brother, sister and her hubby, parents and other brother to a limited extent. Bleh, that was such a girlie way to talk! good luck!
Hey i am always thinking about you:)
Dot Steward in Midnapore ward does raw veggie classes. That sounds like a cool diet! Keep us updated on how it goes for you.
Let me remind you of a scripture that alwyas brings me comfort...
"To every thing, there is a season, to every thing there is a time. For every purpose under heaven, there is a time.....a PERFECT time."
DOn't worry about forcing things to feel right with relationships, religion, or even running. Life is full of grooves- some better than others, but I know this- there is a time to feel better, and a time to feel like s#*t to work it all out. It's all about the process.
Speaking as a professional may I suggest a massage? Meditation is great too for calming the outer voices and listening to YOUR divine self. Good luck. Please email me if you need a listening ear.
I'm a mental case for no good reason at all. Don't beat yourself up!
As the reigning Queen of Nothing Makes Sense/Multiple Personality Conflict Disorder/Sanity is Optional...
I totally get it. Just do things in Debbi time, and take comfort in the knowledge that you know at least 1 other person that doesn't quite have her mental s*&# together either...
love ya.
"This is my mental diarrhea. You get to wade through it if you so please."
Beautiful imagery. Now I'm going to go puke.
hey i know exactly what you mean about wanting to change one thing for fear of making a rash decision of shooting yourself in the foot. i've been there and have been for a while. you take your time, go through what you need to go through and figure things out on your own time and we'll wade through your 'stuff' along with you because we love you.
big huge hugs....
Hey Deb, I second the motion to try yoga. It does more than you think it would (not just physically but more so mentally and emotionally). The best thing is that it teaches people is how to breathe. Literally, it changed my life.
Also, raw diet, wow that's awesome. Good for you. I would just mention to make sure you work with someone (maybe your friend you mentioned or a naturopath) who understands how to transition to this diet in a way that doesn't neglect your need for protein, iron, and b-vitamins that most people get from red meat.
Also, if you're suffering from fatigue (any brain fog?) and depression you might want to check to see if you have a yeast overgrowth in your intestinal tract. Probiotics (like acidophilus) can help a lot.
xxkristenmc
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