NOT Not Me Monday

I do NOT want to confuse people today, so I am NOT going to do Not Me Monday today. ;)

So, I get it, guys. So many of you are hilarious-- Um, blogging is NOT an obligation. But I'm flattered so many of you feel the need to tell me you miss me in emails or whatever! I can't help it, I was BUSY! Thanks for missing me.

Will is back home and I am back to 'real life' now. He's busy working hard for the month, so I may not see him much anyways. Until June. >:( I thought, after spending so much time together for the first time in our relationship that we'd be sooooo tired of spending time together by the end of it all. But having him around so much was great, and I already miss him! And I mean, let's be honest, we're only one day into 'alone', and my 'honey-do' list is expanding! ha.

We had an eventful (non-eventful) weekend. Our first bigger 'fight'. Since both of us are coming from previous relationships, there's always a bit of 'residual habits' based on how we were in our marriages. He fought often with his ex, and Chris and I never fought. Growing up, he saw his parents fight a certain way, where I NEVER saw my parents fight at all. He says he didn't learn how to fight properly, and technically (on the FAR side of the spectrum) I didn't either. These types of things have an impact on how you fight in the NEXT relationship, and we do NOT fight the same way. But we're learning.

Fighting in a relationship (work, marriage, sibling... ANYTHING) takes a level of maturity to do it right. And don't all raise your eyebrows at me-- fighting is a SKILL! It takes WORK to fight. Bigger yet, it takes work to make up. It takes humility to apologize, to take ownership of your part in the misunderstanding. It includes NOT reacting. It includes NOT getting attacking and defending mixed up.

I'm not the Dean of Mean, or the Princess of Pugnacity, but I tend to think I do not too poorly in explaining my opinion during an argument without being infantile. Of course, in this instance, I was more at fault for one of our arguments, where he was more at fault for a different one.

Most people fight because of a lack of communication. And most people get defensive FIRST, since it's human nature to fight back. Keeping that in mind when I fight is a good way for me to not be who I'm GOING to be, but to be whom I WANT to be, and to DENY the "natural man" in us all.

Fighting in a relationship is inevitable. HOW you fight is up to you. Even if they don't fight like you do, you don't have to fight like they do!

And the best part of fighting, of course, is the making up! :)