Nope, Not Me Monday!

(for more Not Me Monday, visit my charming kids !) *edit- since people have mentioned that reading these 'not me' posts is confusing, here's a key: omit anything that is pink, and continue reading. Anything pink is sarcastic. That will make the post much easier to understand.*

Today was NOT only the crappiest day in a long time. And yet, it was also NOT exactly what I needed, I think.

I did NOT wake up this morning, in a great mood from a good weekend with friends. I did NOT get excited over thinking of having clean carpets by the end of the day, nor did I also go early to Safeway to rent the machine. With dayhome kids in tow which does NOT suck. Nope, not me... I would NEVER hate taking that many kids to Safeway!

I did NOT have a very few productive minutes in the morning, getting half of the bonus room carpet cleaned. Because I did NOT stop half way through, I do NOT have a clean/dirty line in the carpet! I will NOT be trying to get that out before the new couch arrives tomorrow. Which, by the way, I am not ECSTATIC about! No, I really enjoyed having a couch that the kids would tear apart-- it was my favourite thing. Not to mention, I really liked knowing that EF and Chris had ".. a moment .." on that couch and I can NOT get rid of it fast enough. I am NOT in a 'cleaning house' mode lately- nope. I'm not trying to 'wash that man right outta my...carpets'. (VL)

I did not get a very upsetting phone call from a friend in need, who does NOT live too far away for me to help. I did NOT feel helpless, and I do not feel sad for their sadness. Nope. That's soooo NOT me to take on the issues of my friends and somewhat want to 'fix' their sadness. I do NOT personalize it way too much. I will NOT be on my knees in prayer for them tonight.

I did NOT also, upon hanging up that phone call, receive a phone call right after from ' A BC CORRECTIONAL FACILITY'. I did NOT enjoy talking with Beau, and I am NOT happy to hear that he gets sentenced on Wednesday. I was, however, NOT upsetted to hear that he's having some health issues that they can't figure out. I am NOT thinking it somewhat ironic that the man in the jail was chastising me for what is NOT going on in my life, and how I do NOT deserve better. I did NOT tear up.

I did NOT finish my laundry folding in a quiet, self-reflecting way after the third phone call of the day. Upon doing one of the last loads, I was NOT surprised to look into the finished washload to find my freshly washed Ipod. nope. That wasn't me. I would NEVER wash my Ipod. I was NOT about THIS close to crying at that point. I am NOT super-dee-duper thrilled about having to buy ANOTHER one only a few months after having received this one for Christmas.

I did NOT, at that point, decide to try to have a nap, only to NOT have dreams about people that left me unsettled. I also did NOT get woken up from my snooze three times. I did NOT feel completely exhausted after.

I did NOT think it sucked that Chris was coming over today, because I did NOT anticipate a very hard conversation regarding my weekend and his thoughts on things we've talked about. I am NOT relieved that, by the end of the day, I was NOT ready to 'run away' and so, instead, left him with the dinner and kids and took off in the freezing cold just to 'get out'. I did NOT wish I could run forever. I did NOT wish I didn't have to come back.

I did NOT call my lawyer. And I did NOT ask for the divorce papers to start again, in spite of me NOT thinking I would wait until EF came back so I could wash HER out of my life first, too. I am NOT terrified to tell Chris, as I am NOT utterly and completely concerned with his emotional state lately. I am NOT dying a little inside while I watch him in so much pain that I do NOT feel responsible for.

I am NOT thankful for the talks given in church yesterday, and will NOT be posting about that possibly tomorrow... when my carpets are NOT drying and when I DON'T need time to myself.