Nothing, What's a Motto With YOU?

I have a new "motto". Well, not NEW, but new to share with all but ONE of you.

Make the Change.
Not "Be the Change" (although it's a great motto to acquire). Not that, no.

You see, my girlfriend and old neighbour has a 'theme' each year. And, in 2008, I realized that the main reason for things that made me unhappy in life was because I didn't change them. Or someone else didn't change them.

I got so tired of dealing with people who complained incessantly about things in their life that they weren't happy with, but didn't ever do anything to make a different outcome. I can't tell you how many times someone came to me with the same issue over and over again. And I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture.
A lot of times we don't see the forest for the trees, in that we don't realize that the root of the problem is deeper than the superficial problem we're complaining about. IF we sat down and really looked at the DEEPER, more obscure reasons for our unhappiness, we'd find that not only *this* issue would be resolved, but so many other things we didn't even know were bothering us would also take a turn for the better. This is the biggest lesson I learnt from myself AND from watching others' lives this year.

The first thing that comes to mind was my marriage.Just over a year ago, Chris was in the kitchen carving meat. I'm muttering about, cleaning the counters whilst he carves. He pulled out the carving set, and turns to me and complains, "this knife is so dull". I just look at him. Maybe he wants me to get him a new knife. Although, he's standing 2 feet away from the drawer with all the sharper knives. On top of it, the knife-set he's using has a sharpener attached to the case, I'm slightly confused as to why he hasn't decided to use it, and I suggest he try to sharpen it. He claims he already did and it's not working still. "Stupid knife... grumble...grumble...dull...grumble".

Continuing to clean, a few minutes pass. He says to the air again, "Ug, I can't stand this. This knife is SO dull! It's a piece of junk!". , I frown at him, and simply state, "then change the knife!".

Continuing to clean, he carves a few more slices, and once AGAIN repeats, "Seriously! This knife is the dullest knife, I hate it."

At this point, I lose it. Three times is two too many!
"Then CHANGE THE KNIFE!! Nobody's MAKING you use that knife, if you don't' like it, CHANGE it!!!"

In that time of our marriage, this carving incident was obviously about more than a knife. And he and I knew that. Chris wasn't sure he wanted to be married, didn't like his marriage, and ALWAYS told me about his unhappiness, but, at the time, never did anything productive to fix it.

(I'm sooooooo happy that things are so different now. He realizes how many things he missed out on. On how easy it would have been to just 'intervene' in his own life and take the bull by the horns, so to speak. We've brought up this knife incident recently, and made note of people in our lives who are still using the dull knife whist complaining all the while. He 'gets it' now. And I'm so grateful for that.)

So, I'm issuing the challenge. Change the knife yourself. It's not a big thing, but it MAY require a bit of work.Although I didn't take up the torch in 2008, I am in 2009. I'm challenging you to join me. Find a 'theme' for 2009. Something you want to focus on. Something you want to change. Something based on what you learnt last year (08).

My motto for 2009.
Make the Change.
The best thing I've done in 2008. And the goal for 2009.