{I thought about leaving this entry comment-disabled, but instead, please refrain from negative anonymous opinions... I'm not asking for them. Comments are fine from identified or optimistic anonymous people on this one.}
Our divorce papers are now on hold.
Chris asked me to let him move back in.
We're both in counselling.
And things are so perfect, I can hardly believe it. Which is why I'm apprehensive about everything, which is why I'm in counselling, and why I didn't say yes to him moving back in. He's given me no current reason not to want him back and has said and done everything I need and want, but the remnant fears and insecurities are on my part, and I can't make any decisions with those feelings still lingering, as it doesn't make a good start to a relationship. Until I am 100% sure of something, I won't do it.
Just keeping everyone up to date as I don't have much time for full posts.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
If You Can't Say Something Nice
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16 comments:
I'm just letting you know I'm thinking about you and luv u...no matter what you decide!
Hope you have a WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!!
xoxoxox
you are a strong woman, and very admirable. Follow your heart even if it is slow to give you a 100% answer you are in the right place.
I'm so glad you have put the divorce papers on hold!!! If things are looking better I completely agree that it doesn't make sense to continue with a divorce. You did the right thing by separating, and you are doing the right thing by going to counselling. You did the right thing by not saying yes immediately. 100% is worth shooting for when you consider what is at stake here.
Good for you for trying to work it out - both for yourself, the kids and you as a couple.
I'm so happy to read this.
take your time with this one. you need to. counselling and everything else you are doing will lead you to the right decision when the time is right for you.
keep your chin up.
You're doing the right thing for you Debbi!
I'm so proud of you for doing what's needed to make you 100% sure. Have fun, let things fall as they may!
Love you and completely support you!
Carla said what I was thinking. I'm glad you're happy. I hope that things continue to look up.
The problem is, trust is such an essential part of a relationship and if you don't have that, what do you have? And the lack of trust is utterly understandable, a natural, sane consequence to Chris's deplorable actions. So it's not that you are 'insecure'. Your reaction, your hesitation, is normal and justified and the fact is he hasn't earned your trust--ever, and that is 100% a reflection of HIS character (or lack thereof). The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. Unless there is a drastic change, major overhaul. Maybe that change is happening, but I'm cynical. As others have said, good you are taking your time, being careful. You've been extremely accommodating of him though, very accepting of him. Does he truly deserve that? You'll decide.
I agree with everything said in the first six comments. Love ya.
I know you'll do the right thing. I love you.
wow, bombshell.
good luck with that!
SATC movie. NEVER LOOK BACK!
(what's SATC?)
NM-- figured it out.
I wish you all the best with this one. But from what I can read, sounds like you are doing all the right things to make sure you make the best choice.
Hey girl! Ditto most of the above comments except for the pessimistic ones. I do have this question for you though. Having known you BB(before blog), I hope Chris has been able to determine once and for all what HE wants. I know you well enough to know that you will know when the time is right and what is right - the question is... Does he? - or will he have another periodic mid-life crisis?
That said, I know you will have the wisdom (intellectual and spiritual) to know the answer to that question too.
Luv ya - maybe time for a long distance phone call from me to you......
Good luck to you both!
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