yah.
violated-me is now blogging.
and no, no one who reads this is unaware of what a pap-test entails. At least, I'd hope not. And in case you don't know; my sister wrote an essay on it. I'll forward it to ya! But let me enlighten you on my day of terror yesterday. Because, you may THINK it was simple--
It took up MY ENTIRE day! From 10:45 to 3:30 ~~ yah, fun fun.
No, there's nothing 'wrong' with me (at least, that the Doctor knows! muahaha) but I had to go to two different clinics, got to get naked TWICE for two different doctors. And do the 'scootch' twice. ( I've decided that nobody, no matter how..uh... well-versed they are at this procedure, EVER scootches quite far enough. I think it's just a phrase Doctors use when they don't need to... but when I feel their breath on my belly button, I get a little squeamish about scootching ANY further!! lol) I got to fold my clothes perfectly on the chair, carefully hiding my underthings, TWICE. I TWICE got to do the eternal internal debate : Socks? or No socks? I decided on the no-sock option-- as totally nekkid with black socks on looks ridiculous!!!
I got to fumble with a paper sheet that's SUPPOSED to cover.. uh.. me!! I got to freeze while "wearing" my sexy paper napkin twice! I got to get the Doctor's 'play-by-play' twice. I got that COLD COLD speculum, yep.. you guessed it, TWICE.
Not my idea of a fun time.
But I didn't cry. Progress, people, progress.
If I had something better to talk about from my day yesterday, I would. But other than that... fun day of fun. Party on. Holla. Jam out!
(haha, yes. that still makes me laugh.)
So, thanks for your input yesterday everyone. Those were good words. I forgot one.
Discharge. Ew. yep. Another yucky word.
And, I thought I'd update you on my latest dating scene- My boyfriend's name is Trevor. He's hot, and he sings really well! He's from my hometown of Vancouver too, and we all love BC boys. I'm newly in love with THIS song of his, seeing as he OBVIOUSLY wrote it for me. I've loved him for years and years.
He doesn't know he's my boyfriend yet, though, so if any of you run into him in passing, give him my phone number! LOL
Friday, November 7, 2008
At Least Buy Me A Drink First!
at 8:35 AM
Labels: Dating, Fit or Fat, life a la Debbi
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11 comments:
you gotta love those "paper napkin outfits" they really make you feel "special" don't they. i just got a pap test screening letter in the mail. guess it's time to deal with it too!!! so not fun!, but good for you for doing it so "gracefully".
Why TWICE? That is some bad luck!
Have fun, Carla.
Anon, twice because my family practitioner is a bit of a moron. Suffice it to say, the second clinic shoulda been my FIRST stop. No matter.
Ew ew ew. Yes, I thought of you and Terri's essay when I went for my first one. No matter who wrote the essay, they could never prepare you for THAT.
Gross gross gross. I cried, too. It's okay to cry. Maybe by the time I've done this more like you I'll stop crying. At least I didn't have to do it twice in one day. Bless your heart...and vagina.
;)
I had a similar experience when during a routine Pap it was discovered that my IUD was missing!!!! So I had get another doctor to try feel around for the missing object (just incase the first one missed it!). Then my Gynecologist had to have her turn and then an ultrasound tech! It was rather traumatic. So I totally feel your pain.
Haha, I've never commented before, but I must today! I love your description of how they use the word "scootch". So true.
Also, don't ya just love the sheet they give you to wear that makes you feel more naked than had you been wearing nothing at all?
An essay about paps? Sounds like an interesting read. :)
I'm sorry you had one twice, but seriously I don't know what's wrong with people when they say PAP's are a horrible thing.
I heard all the horror stories about them, (the coldness, the nakedness etc...) and when I went to see my OB/GYN for the first time it seriously freaked me out. Well she calmed my nerves and told me that she promised my experience wouldn't be like that.
I said, "Ya right"....but then she said I wouldn't feel anything but pressure and no pain at all. She said if people feel pain, then "the doctor's doing it wrong".
She did her "thing" and then she's like okay you're done.
"What? That's it?"-ya I was like, THIS is what everyone tells horror stories about?
I don't know how things differ from Canadian doctors, but down here we wear regular hospital gowns (fabric, not paper) and in my doc's office they put "cozy's" on the stirrup feet part. Even her instruments were body tempurature. It was the most confortable experience I coulda had.
It's not like I look forward to these yearly visits, but I can honestly say I don't dread it one bit!
I really feel bad for people who have horrible experiences. Especially if you have to have it twice in one day.
Now a Mammogram? HA HA That's another story. SO NOT FUN!
about the boyfriend - it's chris,right?
You're hilarious =P
I had mine last week too LOL even tied my little napkin waistband around me in a bow and pre-scootched before the doctor got in there. ASSUME THE POSITION!!! LOL
LOL @ HMOG!! Assume the position!!
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