Farewell, My friends

I have started and restarted this post a bagillion times. And I've thought about what I would say and how I'd make this work.

Over a year ago, I started this blog. I was going through an excruciating time in life, trying to figure out where Chris' and my relationship was heading. I was sad. I was drained. I was searching. I was conflicted. And I knew that, in some way or another, the year held many more changes..

I have always loved writing. I love getting my thoughts on paper, and as a mom, finding time to type was easier than sitting down with my paper journal. I didn't think many people would read this blog, as I only told family and my closest friends about the URL (blog address).

Before I knew it, I had people searching for me online. People from all over the world who would comment and follow along in my life. Somehow I brought some people hope. Somehow I brought some people laughter. And somehow I brought people insight.

But I wrote for me. I wrote my story according to what I wanted the world to know. The truth, perhaps only shared in pieces. My cathartic confessional.

I go back to my "FOCUS" for the year. MAKE THE CHANGE. Change is good. I was talking with Em today about being unhappy, and how there are so many things that we all do in life that KEEP us unhappy. Things that we can change if we just get up and do it. Things that maybe we're afraid of, but we KNOW we need to do. Things that may continue to hold us down because that's the only place we choose to be. Being held back because of our laziness. Or our fear. Or our anger towards someone else.

I am making the change. I am grabbing the sharper knife.

452 published posts later, I have now got over 150+ readers DAILY. I have some who visit daily, some who visit weekly, and even some who stalk
visit multiple times a day.

I am not a secretive person. I have no enemies of my choosing, and I have no animosity towards anyone. However, my blog is not 'mine' anymore. I have to watch what I write because of people I know who read. There are exes. There is EF. And I don't want to have to do that in my blog. The angst that this blog started with is no longer in my heart.

The blog now isn't only mine...I am not single. I have Will. We are a package now. And, I have perfect peace in life now. I have a beautiful family. And I have hope like no other! I have never known a love so amazing, and, if I could share even just a morsel with everyone, I would. Divorce is a horrible, hurtful, hard road. I have been so blessed in spite of some of my choices. I do NOT wish an affair, or a divorce on ANYONE. But, if you are one of those fateful unlucky, my empathy and heart and prayers go out to you. Keep doing what makes you YOU, and, I hope, you'll find someone who makes you HAPPY in the near future, as I have been so lucky to find myself.

I was seriously contemplating making this blog private, and just continuing the story from here. But I think that it's better to put ALL my heartache from the past behind me and to leave on a good note. Secondly, I want people to continue to stumble on this blog as some have done, and, hopefully somehow, they'll find a post that may help THEM through a divorce/separation/first-time dating.

So, friends, I am closing this blog. This is my last entry as Debbi from Daisyhalos.

I am, however, opening a new one. A blog with the pitfalls and happinesses of raising 4 bonus-children alongside my own. A blog of a second, BETTER, marriage. A blog where I don't feel like I have to hide certain information from strangers, people from my past, and the general public.

My "followers" will be allowed on the new blog with their email addresses, and family members too. So, friends who I don't have as listed followers (and I know there are quite a few), send me an email to debbirn2b@hotmail DOT com, and I'll put you as an allowed reader. *EDIT* I can't get my follower's emails, blogger's being silly. So, sorry guys, but just send me an email saying "hey" and I'll make sure to get you on the safe list.

Until I meet you on the other blog, friends, I bid Adieu.
In honour of my last Daisyhalos Six Word "Wednesday", I write:


And They Lived Happily Ever After.



***FINAL EDIT*** after a bunch of contemplation, I realized that being a private blog annoys the heck out of me. Besides, I'm really not that interesting! ;) So, the new blog can be found at www.ninepeasinthepod.blogspot.com See you there! :)

Luna de Miel

Will and I didn't really plan a "honeymoon". With kids just BARELY starting school, and so much work for him to finish, we weren't even sure we would be able to spend even one night away.

THANKFULLY, we have AWESOME family members on both sides, so with a LOT of co-ordinating, we sent seven kids in different directions, and Will and I were able to take a mini-vacation.

My sister, Marci, helped me out of the wedding dress and into my surprise for Will. Now, before you get too curious, I have never been a lingerie-wearing girl. But, Sin shopped with me and we actually found something I knew Will would like that I could handle. So, here I am, my sister and sister-in-law having a permanently engraved image of me in lingerie in their heads. And they didn't even laugh! True sisterly love right there!

Will and I left Calgary REALLY late, after going to dinner with my family at a restaurant that took FOR-E-VER.

(checking the photos at the restaurant while we waited an HOUR for food!)

Given-- it may have seemed a LOT longer to Will and I than it did to the others. Funny how that worked! lol

(I think it was at this point that everyone at the front door SAW those pretty underthings!... I was glad we shut the door quickly to avoid any further embarrassment. For not being a virgin on her wedding night, I sure felt sheepish saying goodbye to everyone anyways!)

We drove an hour and a half to Red Deer, AB. The armpit heart of the midwest, right? ;) Right. Checked into the hotel that Will had booked...
It was AWESOME!!

A beautiful room with a jacuzzi bath. And believe me-- after a day in a corset, spanx and blue stripper shoes, a hot bath spoke entrancing words to me!

While I started my bath, Will also got his "surprise" together. NO, it wasn't this:

althoooooough......... :) kidding.

In fact, it was super cute. He had bought my fave chocolate, complete with fresh strawberries, and bought wine glasses. Then he filled the glasses with my favourite wine.

TOO cute.
(yes, they're wine-gums)

And that's that.
At this time, I would like to officially remove my name from the CBF file. To all those remaining-- my love and deepest sympathies! ;) Dad, stop reading now.
Lemme just say, girlfriends-- I slept really well that night! lol

The next morning, we ran a bunch of little errands (returning tuxes because Monday was a holiday), checking out and in to another hotel, getting lost downtown with all the stupid one-way roads.. regular stuff. Red Deer was where I was born, so I took him out to my old house, where we ate burgers and laid on the hill outside, looking at the sky and watching the kids on the playground.

And then I took Will to see my last family member. With all my siblings able to be at our wedding, there was only one more sibling Will hadn't met.

So, we went to the cemetery, and he 'met' my older brother, Steven, where we left a bouquet of the wedding flowers so he, too, could be part of our day.

(haha, this photo makes me laugh, because Will was all, "uh, am I supposed to smile? Or look sad?" So instead, he looks in pain! lol)

We went to the movies, we ate steak and lobster dinner, we took midday ..uh... naps. It was AWESOME being without kids for a few days, and no responsibilities or worries, and no one phoned us (except the realtor to tell us the house was sold, so we excused that one!;) ) . It was super fun shopping together, dressing each other up in outfits, and just being US.

Although we had to come home and clean houses and get back to the grind, the few days away were wonderful.

The Start of Something Good

I'm Mrs. McSpanky!!!!

The honeymoon is done, and we're on our way back to 'reality'... being a Mom and a Dad. Being married, fixing an old house, bills and work and being SO COMPLETELY IN LOVE!!!

Monday was a holiday in Canada (Labour Day), and our wedding was simply amazing! I have so much to say and no idea even where to start.

So, this will be a blog of mainly photos, and we'll talk more during the upcoming days. Assuming I'm not too busy snuggling and cuddling with my sexy husband!

My first thought-- SO MANY people helped with this wedding. Doing more than I even KNEW they did. I am so humbled by the amount of work that went into putting everything together. THANKFULLY, I was fairly unaware of the 'issues' the morning of the wedding, as everyone took care of everything for me. So, for those who were part of this wedding-- whether it was as the kitchen people, or as a wedding planner, or an amazing and patient photographer, a cake decorator extraordinaire, and even a date of my brother's who set up the gym and didn't even KNOW me or Will... I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. My day with Will was amazing, and I'm sooo pleased and elated in how everything went.

Something old: The garter was made by my mother with fabric from when I was a little girl.
Something new: the dress
Something borrowed: my sister's makeup
Something blue: the shoes. I LOVE THESE SHOES!

We couldn't find the keys, so I was a tad late for the ceremony to start. But I got to the chapel (thanks Sin) and met my mom and dad there. My father gave me a blessing-- the last one as Debbi Barber, and it was a touching moment. Then he and my mother went into the gym, and the kids filed down the aisle. Will followed them, and trust me, he looked AMAZING!!!!

And then I walked into the chapel to music that Kare had MADE for me. It was a gorgeous song, with my sister playing her violin. They were fantastic. They also played a song I requested for during the signing of the marriage certificate, a song Will loved and didn't know I asked them to play. It was perfect, and I loved his little gasp when he heard them start playing. Tears brimmed his eyes, and it made me smile.

It was a sweet, SHORT ceremony, and then we exited the chapel dancing to music on our way to a wonderful, outdoor reception.Then, the party was over, and Will and I took the kids and got lots of photos with V done. Some really cute shots! I can't wait to see her pictures, I know they're going to be simply AWESOME!!

And Will and I, of course, couldn't leave the chapel with a decorated car-- NOT only because our car is currently rented because the van is in the shop being fixed from our deer incident-- but because that's just not Will and I. No, THIS is Will and I! :)

And, after a wonderful dinner with my family, Will and I took off on our honeymoon.

It all fell into place, and our wedding day was a perfect day of love, colour, happiness and family. I couldn't have asked for anything to be different or better!

Six Word Sunday

Yikes, it's technically Sunday, but I'm still awake so I'm considering it still Saturday in my head.

So, today's six words:

First time to inherit a sister!


Yes, my brother and Nellie got married today. They're super cute, of course, and it was a great day. Even when it rained for, like, 1/2 a minute.

She's the first to 'infiltrate' the sorority of my sistas. And we're glad to have her. She's hot, we'll let her in! ;)

Now it's the final wedding---- MINE and WILL'S!!!! Very exciting--- photos to come on that one next week! So much to do in the meantime! Like, go to bed! I'm sleepy-- this three wedding, two baptism thing is TIRING.

It's a Good few weeks!

The beginning of September is already shaping up to be AWESOME!!

Along with the BEST part-- marrying Will,

my TWO kids (LL and Bear) started school all day (yay),

I get to see ALL my siblings,

(Kiki's wedding this past weekend)

my van will be fixed from our little Bambi-hitting incident,

LL and her cousin got baptized (okay, it was technically August, but whatever)

I 'inherited' a new daughter full-time, and...

as of tonight....

I conditionally sold my house!
YAY.
*now you see why I haven't been blogging much! :(

Sometimes you give yourself a nose-bleed, but once in a while, it pays to be picky!

Today, my little sister marries the man of her dreams. And I mean that in every way.

Have you ever seen the movie, Practical Magic? In it, Sandra Bullock and her 'sister', Nicole Kidman, make a wish/spell where they imagine a man who won't exist. A man who can do fantastical feats that no normal man could do ALL of... ride a horse backwards, whose favourite shape is a star, who has one blue eye and one brown eye.. stuff like that.

They make a list. As children.

And then... eventually... that man shows up. That exact man.



Years and years ago, Kiki made a list like that- a fantastical list of qualities that no 'normal' man could possibly possess all of. A list that we mocked her for.
And today, she marries the man she looked for. A man with those qualities.


I couldn't be happier for her and Ken. They are wonderful together, and my heart is filled with hope and love for them!!

Glad to have a new brother, Ken.
Congrats to both of you!

I Hope You Dance

Ever heard that song, "I Hope You Dance", by Lee Ann Womack?
This weekend, at the wedding, I was reminded of this simple phrase in all its genuinity. (yep, real word).

You see, during the reception, God started a freak rainstorm. The sun was shining, and the mercury was still hovering around 30' C, (86' F), but the heavens opened and halted the celebrations for a while.

Weddings and rain never mix.

Unless you're a child like Mimi. And you're boiling hot. And you don't care that your hair will stick to your head, that your dress will be soaked, or that everyone may be watching you. You don't care about your makeup. Or your jewellery. Or a fake reputation you think you have to uphold.

All you care about is making yourself happy. And when a good tune comes on the speakers, and there's an empty dance floor, you remember that it's not about anything other than RIGHT NOW.

You find happiness in the raindrops. You find relief in the stormclouds. You find joy because you can still hear the music over the thunder.

And everyone watches you, and secretly wishes they had the joie de vie you have.

My To-Do List

Do you know how many things need to get done for a wedding???

We have limited time to get it all done in. Which, in THIS short of time, is tough enough. But with moving and school and all that ON TOP of what is going on by then-- yikes. Even more stressful. My first wedding, we were engaged and married in a week. We had lots of people help pull off a quick wedding for $1000.00! Dress, rings and food for 75 included. But this one isn't like that... so:

• Make the guest list
• Fight over who is important enough for the list.. and by fight, I mean with our family members who think Gramma's brother's married-uncle Sam needs an invitation. Although no one has spoken to him for a decade.
  
• Take a new photo for the invitations (or do we just use one we already have, since we have a MILLION to pick from?)
• Print up the photos
  
• Make the invitations
  
• prune the guest list
• Find addresses for all those people you don't usually send mail to, like Uncle Sam. (you knew you were gonna lose that fight, right? right? )
  
• throw away the guest list and start a new one
• Find addresses for all those people you send mail to, but have been facebooking with for years instead
• Forget the frikken invitations and send out a mass email on Facebook. Or better yet, start a Facebook group! lol (I hate those wedding group pages)
• Try on dresses
• Cry at how fat you feel in the dresses, storm out of store because you're IRATE that their sizes MUST be wrong
  
• Go on immediate water diet
• try on dresses again
  
• Find a dress out of your price range
• Consider paper bags, or duct tape (WHAT THE?)
• Go online and find the dress second-hand, cheaper
• Get the dress in the mail to find it's Purple
• Change your wedding colours to purple.
• Find flowers you LOVE LOVE LOVE.... but they only come in red
• Find shoes- they come in orange only.
• get the food figured out
• decide a wedding is too much work, elope 2 days before the wedding date, and tell everyone their invitations must have had a typo.

Yep.
Will, I love you, but who's idea was this?! ( haha.)

Suddenly, I'm Craving French Loafs of Bread

So, this weekend was so much fun!

Will and I headed out on Saturday morning, and decided to just have a fun "date-day", no kids, no schedules, no plans. Thankfully, he brought his Rollerblades, and so we drove downtown to blade through Prince's Island Park. It was funny, Will hadn't been on his Rollerblades in YEARS, so it was hilarious to watch him nearly biff it once. I'm sure the passing cars enjoyed the visual too. We had a lot of fun, although our feet were sore by the time we decided to go back to the car! Totally, the best part of the day!

Then we drove up to Peter's, shared a milkshake, onion rings and burger. And HOLY CRAP I love Peter's. Forget the exercise, I think PETER'S was the best part of the day! ;)

We headed back to the Stampede grounds, and after finding parking (not the easiest to do on the last Saturday of the Stampede), we got into the gates. Walked around a bit, taking in the million smells and sights. We went on this one ride, The Skyscraper, where they strap you in nice and tight and then spin you around a massive circle at 4Gs! Will and I were screaming and laughing our heads off, and, suspended 160 ft in the air was exhilarating!!
It topped ANY ride I had ever gone on with ANYONE, and was DEFINITELY the highlight of the day, as everywhere we went you could see that ride and we'd just laugh and remember how fun it was.

My favourite part of the Stampede is the agricultural buildings with the goats and animals, so we headed into the buildings to check out the huge horses and uh...cows and sheep.

And, of course, to defile the livestock!

At one point, we left the buildings, and ended up slightly outside the grandstand where the chuckwagon races are held. We found some bleachers there, and decided that since we were both tired and fighting off a bit of a headache, we would sit there for a bit.

I sat on the bench in front of him, leaning up against his knees. Although it was getting later in the day, and slightly cold, when Will asked if I wanted to go get his coat from the car, I declined. It was too nice to sit and I didnt' want to walk all the way back to the car. We were playing with our little mood rings, and he had mine and I had his. It was awesome, we got to see some horse-pull teams come RIGHT in front of us to 'warm up', and just chilled on that bench for a while. I was holding Will's hands, on his lap, which was kinda behind my back, when I gave Will back his ring. He put mine back on my finger, and we sat there for a while just holding hands. He must have been getting cold, though, as he was starting to shake when he pulled out his camera, and we took this HORRIBLE photo.

Then, he let go of my hand, and I saw his hand.

There were two mood rings on his hand: his.. and... MINE?!!!!!

That's when it clicked in!
I looked at my hand.

He was already on his knees behind me, and said "I've talked with your Dad, and he thinks it'd be a good idea if you said you'd marry me. All you have to do is say when and say YES!"

Of course, I said "It's about Freaking Time!" And then. after saying yes, we kissed and I fought back tears. We talked about how he had tried to talk to my dad a FEW times, we talked about when, we talked about how his kids helped him pick the beautiful ring and gave him suggestions on "how" to propose in a fun way.

We're ENGAGED!!!!!!! I am sooooo freaking excited!!!!!!!

It was soooo fun telling our kids. His daughters were so excited, Em especially. When we told MY kids, LL was screaming and soooo excited!

My brother and sister are both getting married at the end of Summer, within a week of each other. And seeing as all my siblings will be there, we figure it's easiest to just plan our wedding around that time, when everyone can make it already.

So, although we're not decided on a DATE yet, we have two dates in mind. I'll keep you updated! For now, I'm gonna have to admit that getting engaged was DEFINITELY the best part of the day! And, of the year.

Engaged on July 11th. Oh Thank Heaven, for Seven Eleven! ;)