Wishing For Daisy Halos - Simple Complexities

Well, I feel like I have so much to say, and yet, I also feel like I don't want to really say any of it.

I'm currently reading The Work and The Glory series, and it's absolutely some of the best books written! I was kinda deprived in seminary-- I was the year that they changed the Book of Mormon and Doctrine And Covenants to match Sunday school, so I ended up getting two years of BoM and missing DnC completely. It really made me a little disappointed because everyone had said how much fun they thought DnC was. I also missed out on learning church history, and so FINALLY (how many years later?!) I read the entire DnC last year. I got nothing out of it. It seemed alright, and I really tried to find things in it that I needed to read-- and I got a few messages out of it, but the storyline of where it all came from made no sense to me. So, now that I'm reading these books, even though they're fictional, I really understand the circumstances around events that I've always known ABOUT, but never really understood. It's a great series... read it.

Last Saturday sucked. really sucked. I answered the door, and standing there were obvious missionaries from another church. Oh great, I thought. But it was FREEZING cold, so instead of talking to them with the door open, I told them to come in and warm up a bit. I'm not the kind who shoves them away-- I've never been able to be that rude. And they're usually nice, pleasant people only trying to do what they think is right. They're really no different in purpose than OUR missionaries, and heck, it was freezing out! So, these ones were Jehovah's Witnesses. I was really relieved at that, actually, because I had Baptist ones come to my house and left me with a spirit that I NEVER want in my house again! I could go on about baptists-- at least, the one's I've met... but that'll have to be another day.

Anyways, so they come in and told me that my husband, Chris, told them to come back another day, so here they are. That kinda bugged me-- he KNOWS I don't like having these people question me about my beliefs, and that I'm not really the kind to bible-bash with them. In fact, even if I was, I don't have the knowledge or testimony to. These people know their scriptures inside-out and backwards! When they knew that I was Mormon, they proceeded to show me a scripture that really bothered me. It still does, and we're having the missionaries over for dinner next Sunday, so I'll bring it up with them as well as here. The scripture was found in Galatians 1, verse 8-9. It reads, But though we, OR AN ANGEL FROM HEAVEN, preach any other gospel to you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, if any man preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed. That kinda bugged me. Actually, it bugged me a lot. It's weird though, because it didn't really shake my testimony, I just didn't know what to say in response to that. So, if I look at that scripture, then all of Angel Moroni coming to Joseph is accursed. And then the BoM is accursed. And everything I believe is accursed. It makes no sense to me.
Anyways, the thoughts that run through my head with that kinda range from doubt to denial to disbelief to disregard... everything!

And then I had to go to work, and we were out really late, and no one was even there, so it was a total waste of my time. I hate that.

I came home and talked to my sibling on the phone, having a rather disturbing phone call. I'm not getting into it, because I'm still digesting most of it and I'm afraid that my emotions will take over my rational thinking and I'll say something that will be oh-too-oft misunderstood. But, for explanation, my reaction isn't stemmed from what she's done or doing or whatever. It stems from being lied to. Mostly.

I hate being lied to. I hate indirect lying, but more importantly, I hate lying straight to my face. And that happened twice. By two different people. It's one thing to be lied to by someone stupid, it's totally another to be lied to from people you love and who love you back. I am hurt by that most of all. And then, on top of that all, I put a relationship with my own mother out on a broken tree limb just to defend them, but in truth, they had deceived me and made MY relationship with My mother suffer because of it. That totally pisses me off.

Anyways, not getting started or I'll be ranting about it for days. Maybe some day I'll be able to get over it, but I'm not today, and frankly, I'm not ready to.