DAISYHALOS

Farewell, My friends

2009-09-22T22:06:00.003-06:00

I have started and restarted this post a bagillion times. And I've thought about what I would say and how I'd make this work.

Over a year ago, I started this blog. I was going through an excruciating time in life, trying to figure out where Chris' and my relationship was heading. I was sad. I was drained. I was searching. I was conflicted. And I knew that, in some way or another, the year held many more changes..

I have always loved writing. I love getting my thoughts on paper, and as a mom, finding time to type was easier than sitting down with my paper journal. I didn't think many people would read this blog, as I only told family and my closest friends about the URL (blog address).

Before I knew it, I had people searching for me online. People from all over the world who would comment and follow along in my life. Somehow I brought some people hope. Somehow I brought some people laughter. And somehow I brought people insight.

But I wrote for me. I wrote my story according to what I wanted the world to know. The truth, perhaps only shared in pieces. My cathartic confessional.

I go back to my "FOCUS" for the year. MAKE THE CHANGE. Change is good. I was talking with Em today about being unhappy, and how there are so many things that we all do in life that KEEP us unhappy. Things that we can change if we just get up and do it. Things that maybe we're afraid of, but we KNOW we need to do. Things that may continue to hold us down because that's the only place we choose to be. Being held back because of our laziness. Or our fear. Or our anger towards someone else.

I am making the change. I am grabbing the sharper knife.

452 published posts later, I have now got over 150+ readers DAILY. I have some who visit daily, some who visit weekly, and even some who ~~stalk~~
visit multiple times a day.

I am not a secretive person. I have no enemies of my choosing, and I have no animosity towards anyone. However, my blog is not 'mine' anymore. I have to watch what I write because of people I know who read. There are exes. There is EF. And I don't want to have to do that in my blog. The angst that this blog started with is no longer in my heart.

The blog now isn't only mine...I am not single. I have Will. We are a package now. And, I have perfect peace in life now. I have a beautiful family. And I have hope like no other! I have never known a love so amazing, and, if I could share even just a morsel with everyone, I would. Divorce is a horrible, hurtful, hard road. I have been so blessed in spite of some of my choices. I do NOT wish an affair, or a divorce on ANYONE. But, if you are one of those fateful unlucky, my empathy and heart and prayers go out to you. Keep doing what makes you YOU, and, I hope, you'll find someone who makes you HAPPY in the near future, as I have been so lucky to find myself.

I was seriously contemplating making this blog private, and just continuing the story from here. But I think that it's better to put ALL my heartache from the past behind me and to leave on a good note. Secondly, I want people to continue to stumble on this blog as some have done, and, hopefully somehow, they'll find a post that may help THEM through a divorce/separation/first-time dating.

So, friends, I am closing this blog. This is my last entry as Debbi from Daisyhalos.

I am, however, opening a new one. A blog with the pitfalls and happinesses of raising 4 bonus-children alongside my own. A blog of a second, BETTER, marriage. A blog where I don't feel like I have to hide certain information from strangers, people from my past, and the general public.

My "followers" will be allowed on the new blog with their email addresses, and family members too. So, friends who I don't have as listed followers (and I know there are quite a few), send me an email to debbirn2b@hotmail DOT com, and I'll put you as an allowed reader. *EDIT* I can't get my follower's emails, blogger's being silly. So, sorry guys, but just send me an email saying "hey" and I'll make sure to get you on the safe list.

Until I meet you on the other blog, friends, I bid Adieu.
In honour of my last Daisyhalos Six Word "Wednesday", I write:

And They Lived Happily Ever After.

***FINAL EDIT*** after a bunch of contemplation, I realized that being a private blog annoys the heck out of me. Besides, I'm really not that interesting! ;) So, the new blog can be found at www.ninepeasinthepod.blogspot.com See you there! :)

Fall has Fell

2009-09-22T10:46:00.007-06:00

It's the official first day of Autumn. Which I know, because last night we spent a while on google figuring out if it was actually YESTERDAY or today. And, so we're all aware, no two sites said the same thing. So whatever.

Point being, I'm in my element! Fall-born babies tend to love the fall season the most, and I'm no exception to that rule. I love the smell, the colours, the crisp leaves under foot, the sweaters and cute boots and leggings, and, most of all, the TV line-up every night.

So, yesterday, the last night of summer, I took the kids out to where Will is working on a cabin, about an hour away. We played in the creek and on the tire swing, sang songs in the car as loud as possible, and when it was all over, we went to Waterton to listen to the Elk calls. And, for what anyone cares, listening and watching the Elk like that was seriously AWESOME! Em told me, with a shrug and roll of the eye, that she's done it 'a million times,' and I thought, Holy Crap, kid, if you only KNEW how cool of a life you've lived. Living out here provides some pretty awesome opportunities for kids and adults alike, and, even though I come from a Scouting/Guiding (camping,outdoor,hunting) family, I have NEVER been that close to Elk and listened to the bellows.

Family Home Evening doesn't get much better than this.

Although, I hate to admit.... I committed an unpardonable sin last night. One I SWORE I would NEVER NEVER EVER commit!

Yes, (sadly) that's me.
Ponytailin' (oh the ears!!! Kill me now!),
short-donnin' (yuck.. I hate shorts.)
sweater-wearing (uh, with shorts?!)
CROC-walkin! CROCS!!! What in the name of all that is fashionable am I thinking? I friggen HATE crocs. And, this croc-promoting McSpanky family has totally taken over-- I swore I would NEVER own such hideous shoes. And yesterday, I sunk to the lowest of lows. *moment of silence as the COOL Debbi falls into fashion oblivion*

It's a good thing Will still thought I was cute...he was super cute too, all messy and painty and muddy from drywalling, but he refused to let me take a picture of his cuteness. This is the only one I snagged. Which, if I may say so myself, isn't too bad of a view either. tee hee.

So, on a Tuesday Tune tribute... (man, it's been a while since I shared a tune,)I thought I'd share this one. Found it on Facebook from a bloggy-friend, so, hopefully it's new to some of you. Will doesn't have this problem yet. But huney, just in case you read this, it's all very true.. take notes. :)

*Watch song here!*

Have a great Tuesday! :)

Not Me Monday- Moving

2009-09-21T15:13:00.000-06:00

I am NOT still sick. I did NOT, however, take some serious drugs this weekend to get back to my ~~normal~~ amazingly awesome self.

Life is NOT starting to feel back to normal again. I do NOT need a ~~buttload~~ smidgen of routine in order for me to NOT function, and now that the wedding is NOT over and I am NOT settling in to this small-town life, I can NOT finally get it together.

This week, my kids do NOT have 2 days off! I know, school only started 2 weeks ago, and already they have TWO days off... I do NOT remember when I went to school, and did walk up hill both ways, carrying my shoes in my hands with plastic bags on my feet, in the snow, for 50 miles. And, NO, I did NOT have days off every two weeks.

We did NOT have last-minute dinner guests yesterday, and NOPE, I did NOT feed them whilst sitting on rubbermaid buckets around the table. Both of our children did NOT eat in the living room, on the (blue carpeted) floor. That would be just rude, and I would NEVER do that to dinner guests. This was NOT bad enough, but to top it off, I did NOT inwardly freak out, considering it was Will's Ex's extended family, and I did NOT worry about making a good impression. I am NOT pleased to say that they were very nice and friendly, in spite of my dirty house. And, in case you're wondering, I did NOT overcook the asparagus to a ~~nasty~~ utterly delicious green goop. I do NOT hate the ~~craptastic~~ flat-top stove and oven here at the house, and my ~~prissy city-girl~~ inner cook does NOT miss her gas stove from the Calgary house.

I am NOT thankful that my parents brought the kitchen chairs from that house later last night- too late for the dinner guests, but great just the same. I am NOT also excited about bringing ALL of my stuff later this week. I am NOT ~~demanding~~ hosting a cleaning party at my house, for those interested! :) BYOC, BYOTC, BYOLW. -- bring your own chairs. And toilet cleaner. And lysol wipes.

I did NOT buy Hallowe'en candy already. Nope, NOT ME! I do NOT have a weakness for the peanut-butter ones. It is NOT Chocolate Wednesday, and I am so NOT cheating! I have also NOT eaten the box all. by. myself.

This does NOT remind me that X-Weighted is starting up that "where are they now" website. It is NOT a bad idea for me to be eating all that chocolate just before they launch. And, apparently, my episode is NOT airing all week, too.

BUT, on the other side of the fat scale, I did NOT wear "the skirt" to church yesterday. This skirt is one that my mother did NOT wear when she was young-- (bought in 1975), and it is NOT the skinniest article of clothing I have. I did NOT wear it when I was a teen, and it was NOT my goal skirt to fit into when the TV show ended. I did NOT force my ~~fat~~ thighs into that skirt yesterday. I did NOT do a little dance of joy that I got the zipper up. And then, when the day was over, I did NOT do ANOTHER (completely ridiculous) dance to try to get it off. NOPE, NOT ME. I would NEVER nearly pull off my left buttcheek in order to get the thing off! I am NOT >this< close to ~~marathon training again~~ going for a few runs with Will to get back into shape.

Six Word Saturday- Sick

2009-09-19T01:39:00.000-06:00

Being newlywed while sick sucks rocks.

(or)

Full of love. Full of snot.

Yep. I'm still sick. This is going on ~~an eternity~~ almost 10 days now. I've tried starving the cold, feeding the cold, sleeping it off, NOT sleeping at all, smothering it with love, NOT loving it, washing copious laundry amounts. Working with Will ~~making out~~ painting at the hotel. Sitting on my lazy butt at home. Working at my Mother-in-law's shop. Walking with Will at night. Paying bills. Shopping. Catching up on emails...
nothing is helping.

A runny nose, a headache, sore muscles... NOT a fun way to be newlywed. I figure, though, if Will can't handle a little bodily fluid as a newlywed, he's missing out on the best part! ;)

9/52

2009-09-18T10:18:00.003-06:00

It's the ninth installment of Find Mom Friday. And, I'd just like to say, that I don't think I've been in as many pictures as I have been lately! ;)

So, although these are LAST week's photos, here's a few more candid wedding photos of me being a mom. I missed FMF last week, though, so now I'm a week behind. Oh well. :)

(Taylor and I, after the reception.)

(Bear and I, dancing and having fun!)

(Mimi's kiss after the ceremony when we danced out of the chapel outside)

(Five of the seven kids, watching Mommy come down the aisle)

Doesn't everyone get a blender when they get married?!

2009-09-16T02:33:00.007-06:00

It's tricky being a blended family.

It's tricky enough getting married when you're older, because you are already SET in routines and desires and traditions. But, add in some children, a few exes, their families and you have the makings of a new soup for everyone!

Recently, Will and I discussed Christmas traditions. Turns out that MOST of our traditions can be done on BOTH sides. But there's a few 'conflicting' ones, where we'll have to pick to give ours up, keep it, or just make a whole NEW one. For Will and I, traditions can be changed. But when we add children, it's a bit tougher. What's most important to them, and what can change? Santa Claus does different things at different households.. so, what does he do HERE?

We are also figuring out weekends. When does Will's ex have the older kids, when do we? Seeing as how Em lives with us but the others don't, there's more travelling now. Having one ex requires work for scheduling and holidays, but we also have MY ex, Chris. So double the work. When does he have the younger ones? And, if he moves, what happens then? And the travelling ... oh the travelling.

Will's kids eat differently than mine do. Not a LOT differently, but snacks and grazing foods for sure. So, grocery shopping changes. Menu planning revolves slightly around which children are home and when. Dislikes and favourites and habits.

What rules did I have in my home that Will doesn't share?
Given, a lot of these things you find out through dating-- and a lot of them, we did! But, because we didn't LIVE together beforehand, there are some things that you can't know until then.

It's tricky, too, as Will's kids are older than mine so rules are different for some than others. Thankfully Grace and LL are only a year apart, so it bridges the "olders" from the "youngers" much better.

Decorating a home. Planning family vacations. Routines for homework. Songs at family prayer-- there are many things we're learning from each other, and many more to come, I know it.

I look forward to each morning that Will and I grow our OWN family tree. Our OWN fruits, our own traditions.

Although we're two separate families becoming one,.. we are definitely nine great peas in this pod!

(We shelled peas for Gramma, and Will found this one! How appropriate, hey?)

Luna de Miel

2009-09-15T10:58:00.005-06:00

Will and I didn't really plan a "honeymoon". With kids just BARELY starting school, and so much work for him to finish, we weren't even sure we would be able to spend even one night away.

THANKFULLY, we have AWESOME family members on both sides, so with a LOT of co-ordinating, we sent seven kids in different directions, and Will and I were able to take a mini-vacation.

My sister, Marci, helped me out of the wedding dress and into my surprise for Will. Now, before you get too curious, I have never been a lingerie-wearing girl. But, Sin shopped with me and we actually found something I knew Will would like that I could handle. So, here I am, my sister and sister-in-law having a permanently engraved image of me in lingerie in their heads. And they didn't even laugh! True sisterly love right there!

Will and I left Calgary REALLY late, after going to dinner with my family at a restaurant that took FOR-E-VER.

(checking the photos at the restaurant while we waited an HOUR for food!)

Given-- it may have seemed a LOT longer to Will and I than it did to the others. Funny how that worked! lol

(I think it was at this point that everyone at the front door SAW those pretty underthings!... I was glad we shut the door quickly to avoid any further embarrassment. For not being a virgin on her wedding night, I sure felt sheepish saying goodbye to everyone anyways!)

We drove an hour and a half to Red Deer, AB. The ~~armpit~~ heart of the midwest, right? ;) Right. Checked into the hotel that Will had booked...
It was AWESOME!!

A beautiful room with a jacuzzi bath. And believe me-- after a day in a corset, spanx and blue stripper shoes, a hot bath spoke entrancing words to me!

While I started my bath, Will also got his "surprise" together. NO, it wasn't this:

althoooooough......... :) kidding.

In fact, it was super cute. He had bought my fave chocolate, complete with fresh strawberries, and bought wine glasses. Then he filled the glasses with my favourite wine.

TOO cute.
(yes, they're wine-gums)

And that's that.
At this time, I would like to officially remove my name from the CBF file. To all those remaining-- my love and deepest sympathies! ;) Dad, stop reading now.
Lemme just say, girlfriends-- I slept really well that night! lol

The next morning, we ran a bunch of little errands (returning tuxes because Monday was a holiday), checking out and in to another hotel, getting lost downtown with all the stupid one-way roads.. regular stuff. Red Deer was where I was born, so I took him out to my old house, where we ate burgers and laid on the hill outside, looking at the sky and watching the kids on the playground.

And then I took Will to see my last family member. With all my siblings able to be at our wedding, there was only one more sibling Will hadn't met.

So, we went to the cemetery, and he 'met' my older brother, Steven, where we left a bouquet of the wedding flowers so he, too, could be part of our day.

(haha, this photo makes me laugh, because Will was all, "uh, am I supposed to smile? Or look sad?" So instead, he looks in pain! lol)

We went to the movies, we ate steak and lobster dinner, we took midday ..uh... naps. It was AWESOME being without kids for a few days, and no responsibilities or worries, and no one phoned us (except the realtor to tell us the house was sold, so we excused that one!;) ) . It was super fun shopping together, dressing each other up in outfits, and just being US.

Although we had to come home and clean houses and get back to the grind, the few days away were wonderful.

Not Me Monday- Married Mayhem

2009-09-14T09:01:00.005-06:00

So, I sent Will to work this morning. It was NOT super cute when, after he made the bed, he whined in a little-boy voice about how he'd NOT like to just stay in bed with me all day. I do NOT agree. This honeymoon may look over, but we're definitely not admitting that to ourselves yet!

But, although having him home with me last week was NOT fantastic, I did NOT get WAYYYYYY behind in my housework! Not like I was distracted or anything! ;) I seriously do NOT have a ROOM FULL of laundry to fold today as EVERYTHING in my house was washed last week, twice. I do NOT have a bunch of stuff to put away, and I do NOT have a million thank-yous I want to get written!

I also have NOT failed to mention, in the course of a NOT busy week last week, that my house in Calgary is NOT finally sold as of Tuesday last! DONE! I can not tell you how happy I am NOT! It is NOT a great thing to know that I can finally move my furniture into this house, and NOT make it finally feel like a home. Will and I had NOT wanted to get some renovations done first, but timing is just not there, and being married is busy! ;) VL
The new family does NOT take possession on the first of October, so really, this month is going to be just as busy as last month! Will does NOT have to finish that hotel we worked on together, and a bunch of other smaller jobs, I do NOT have to go back to Calgary to get my van once it's finished, and I do NOT have to start working to make a few ends meet too. I will NOT likely start working for my mother-in-law, which is NOT a nice idea, seeing as how Mimi can NOT come to work with me.

Chris got a job, he told me last night. BUT, it's a job that's not stable for hours or scheduling, so I may have the kids a lot more. On top of that, he may NOT be moving another hour and a half away in the OPPOSITE direction of Calgary because of this, so his weekends will NOT entail a lot of driving. Alas, life goes on, and Chris, Will and I will figure it all out.

If you are NOT sick of wedding pictures, too bad! I do NOT plan on reliving the best day of my life over and over again on this blog! ;)

Six Word Saturday- Newlywed

2009-09-12T21:58:00.005-06:00

Three weddings, two baptisms, one funeral.

My favourite part about being married so far (at least, the part I care to share with the world :) ) is falling asleep and waking up each day with Will beside me. Even on our honeymoon, he would wake before me and kiss me. Although I could go back to sleep, I didn't like that I was being woken up.

So, today, I asked him if he wouldn't mind just letting me sleep in without him waking me with a kiss. Not that I don't like his kisses, but because I rarely get to sleep in and I'm fighting a cold.

So he woke up, and while I was sleeping he left the room, unnoticed... just because he knew I wanted that, and because he wanted to make me happy.

I woke up without him there.
And I hated it.

It was NOT what I thought I wanted. And when he came back into the room while I was waking, I batted my pretty eyelashes, and conceded that he was right-- waking with a kiss is WAY better than sleeping in.

Today Will and I attended a funeral. What a week. It sure puts perspective on things when you attend funerals-- What will people say about me when I die? What little stories will they share?

It was a good time for reflection, so Will took me out to a lake nearby where we watched bats, listened to coyotes and counted satellites and shooting stars. We talked about death, about our belief in life after death, about how we want to be buried or where. It is one of those talks that, knowing this is the person you'll die beside, actually brought me comfort. Maybe I'm more comforted because we believe that we aren't DONE after death. In a years time, Will and I will take our families and be sealed together for eternity in an LDS temple.

I'm grateful for that.
I think that knowing that Will's aunt is reunited with her husband today is comforting to her 9 children left behind.

And, so when I sleep the long sleep of death, the day that Will and I meet again in heaven, is yet another day I look forward to waking up with him beside me.

The Start of Something Good

2009-09-10T10:54:00.006-06:00

I'm Mrs. McSpanky!!!!

The honeymoon is done, and we're on our way back to 'reality'... being a Mom and a Dad. Being married, fixing an old house, bills and work and being SO COMPLETELY IN LOVE!!!

Monday was a holiday in Canada (Labour Day), and our wedding was simply amazing! I have so much to say and no idea even where to start.

So, this will be a blog of mainly photos, and we'll talk more during the upcoming days. Assuming I'm not too busy snuggling and cuddling with my sexy husband!

My first thought-- SO MANY people helped with this wedding. Doing more than I even KNEW they did. I am so humbled by the amount of work that went into putting everything together. THANKFULLY, I was fairly unaware of the 'issues' the morning of the wedding, as everyone took care of everything for me. So, for those who were part of this wedding-- whether it was as the kitchen people, or as a wedding planner, or an amazing and patient photographer, a cake decorator extraordinaire, and even a date of my brother's who set up the gym and didn't even KNOW me or Will... I want to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. My day with Will was amazing, and I'm sooo pleased and elated in how everything went.

Something old: The garter was made by my mother with fabric from when I was a little girl.
Something new: the dress
Something borrowed: my sister's makeup
Something blue: the shoes. I LOVE THESE SHOES!

We couldn't find the keys, so I was a tad late for the ceremony to start. But I got to the chapel (thanks Sin) and met my mom and dad there. My father gave me a blessing-- the last one as Debbi Barber, and it was a touching moment. Then he and my mother went into the gym, and the kids filed down the aisle. Will followed them, and trust me, he looked AMAZING!!!!

And then I walked into the chapel to music that Kare had MADE for me. It was a gorgeous song, with my sister playing her violin. They were fantastic. They also played a song I requested for during the signing of the marriage certificate, a song Will loved and didn't know I asked them to play. It was perfect, and I loved his little gasp when he heard them start playing. Tears brimmed his eyes, and it made me smile.

It was a sweet, SHORT ceremony, and then we exited the chapel dancing to music on our way to a wonderful, outdoor reception.Then, the party was over, and Will and I took the kids and got lots of photos with V done. Some really cute shots! I can't wait to see her pictures, I know they're going to be simply AWESOME!!

And Will and I, of course, couldn't leave the chapel with a decorated car-- NOT only because our car is currently rented because the van is in the shop being fixed from our deer incident-- but because that's just not Will and I. No, THIS is Will and I! :)

And, after a wonderful dinner with my family, Will and I took off on our honeymoon.

It all fell into place, and our wedding day was a perfect day of love, colour, happiness and family. I couldn't have asked for anything to be different or better!

Six Word Sunday

2009-09-06T00:45:00.003-06:00

Yikes, it's technically Sunday, but I'm still awake so I'm considering it still Saturday in my head.

So, today's six words:

First time to inherit a sister!

Yes, my brother and Nellie got married today. They're super cute, of course, and it was a great day. Even when it rained for, like, 1/2 a minute.

She's the first to 'infiltrate' the sorority of my sistas. And we're glad to have her. She's hot, we'll let her in! ;)

Now it's the final wedding---- MINE and WILL'S!!!! Very exciting--- photos to come on that one next week! So much to do in the meantime! Like, go to bed! I'm sleepy-- this three wedding, two baptism thing is TIRING.

In Point Form

2009-09-03T03:58:00.000-06:00

http://vimeo.com/1531870

I love this video! I loved it when I first saw it, and ended up playing it so often that now my kids sing along. Yes. My kids sing along to Queen. lol

With my brother's wedding taking up the better part of this weekend, I'm down to some final time in order to get OUR wedding ready. You should see my planner-- CRAZY notes on notes on lists of lists. Seriously. It's getting to the point that I don't know what list to start with-- here I think I'm all smart and organized, but there's so much to do that my organized lists are overflowing! AHHH.

I never 'planned' my wedding to Chris, since we only had an 8 day engagement. So this is new to me.

Having step-children, especially one who lives with me full-time, is a big adjustment. I am learning that, although Will's kids are seriously fantastic... and he's a super father to them AND my kids, we don't always agree on parenting styles. We agree ENOUGH. But there's going to be growing pains and a LOT of lessons learned--- and I'm mostly talking about just ME! I know I have lots to learn

There's power struggles with LL, who is used to being the oldest and now she has 'competition'.

I'm so excited about the wedding. But, moreso, I'm excited about having Will live with me. Although right now I see him A LOT more than I did when I lived in Calgary, it still sucks when he tucks me in to bed each night and walks out the front door. I look sooooo forward to sleeping with him beside me-- a warm body to keep the sheets from freezing, a rhythmic breath to lullaby me to sleep, a shoulder to 'pillow' me and a kiss first thing in the morning. I look forward to 'life' starting to settle a bit, where I can cook dinner for him, where I get to spend every other weekend dating him. I look forward to the MARRIAGE.

I am watching my two siblings get married within a week of each other, and, naturally, it's their first marriages. But having been married before, both Will and I come into this a bit tentitavly and jaded. We know marriage can be SUPER and fantastic, but we also KNOW it is harder than anything else. My siblings may HEAR and understand that sentence, but they don't KNOW it. Kinda like when you are pregnant-- you read and prepare as much as you can for that baby, but until it ACTUALLY comes, you realize there was NOTHING that could prepare you for the REAL parts. Like that wedding day euphoria...where you believe life only gets better from here with cake and flower petals all the way...I kinda wish i could go back to those days, but I'm grateful for a better idea this time around. And for a better partner for the trip.

I may be a realist. I may be jaded. But seriously, you guys... I am so in love with this man.

Now I'm off to get marriage licences and stuff put together. We have a bit of an issue because of the stupidity of Will's ex, Sarah, so we are in the middle of fixing that today. Good times.

It's a Good few weeks!

2009-09-01T23:40:00.007-06:00

The beginning of September is already shaping up to be AWESOME!!

Along with the BEST part-- marrying Will,

my TWO kids (LL and Bear) started school all day (yay),

I get to see ALL my siblings,

(Kiki's wedding this past weekend)

my van will be fixed from our little Bambi-hitting incident,

LL and her cousin got baptized (okay, it was technically August, but whatever)

I 'inherited' a new daughter full-time, and...

as of tonight....

I conditionally sold my house!
YAY.
*now you see why I haven't been blogging much! :(

Sometimes you give yourself a nose-bleed, but once in a while, it pays to be picky!

2009-08-29T00:32:00.003-06:00

Today, my little sister marries the man of her dreams. And I mean that in every way.

Have you ever seen the movie, Practical Magic? In it, Sandra Bullock and her 'sister', Nicole Kidman, make a wish/spell where they imagine a man who won't exist. A man who can do fantastical feats that no normal man could do ALL of... ride a horse backwards, whose favourite shape is a star, who has one blue eye and one brown eye.. stuff like that.

They make a list. As children.

And then... eventually... that man shows up. That exact man.

Years and years ago, Kiki made a list like that- a fantastical list of qualities that no 'normal' man could possibly possess all of. A list that we mocked her for.
And today, she marries the man she looked for. A man with those qualities.

I couldn't be happier for her and Ken. They are wonderful together, and my heart is filled with hope and love for them!!

Glad to have a new brother, Ken.
Congrats to both of you!

8/52 and with the amount of driving I've been doing, it's a miracle this has only JUST happened once.

2009-08-28T00:38:00.000-06:00

*graphic content and photos-- fair warning*

Find Mom Friday features last weekend's antics.

Yay that Will and I took his kids last weekend to the lake with Sin and Vegan and her family. We had a great time, about an hour away from our home.

Yay that there was fishing. Lots and lots of fishing!

Triple Yay that there was some AWESOME tubing. Yay that Sin and I went and we laughed our butts off so much, but nay that our stomachs hurt after! It was soooo fun! Nay that I haven't been tubing like that since I was young and I missed it!

And at the end of the day, we started the drive home.

Everything was great (yay), until a big doe ran across the highway (nay). We swerved to go behind her, and yay for her, she got across the road. But her little Bambi ran out right after her...big nay. At that point, we tried to swerve the OTHER way to avoid Bambi, but it didn't go so well.

BIG NAY: Bambi hit the front of my van with a huge *THUD*. Legs starfished, deer spun around in front of our screeching van, and before we knew it, we realized what had happened. Pulling over, we assessed the van damage. LUCKY for us (yayish), although we were travelling at 110kms/hour and the deer hit the front of the van pretty squarely, no airbags went off and no one was hurt. Yay.

Nay that I found out later that it was SUPER close to being much worse, as Bambi hit the van so hard that it moved the hood fairly severely back, and, another few millimetres and the hood would have flown up. Um. That woulda been a super big nay!

Yay that Kay was clever enough to look at the time on her cellphone. Yay that it was kinda freaky that it was EXACTLY 9:11 pm. Okay, how weird is that?!?!

So, Yay that Will kindly moved the body off the highway, and we all paid our respects to the little lad. Nay that I had to file a police report and everything, but yay that it was just a little deer and not worse!

And is it a yay, or a nay, that I've become SUCH a blogger that the first thing I think is "grab a camera!"???

Six Word Saturday- Last One?

2009-08-22T00:06:00.000-06:00

It's Six Word Saturday, where you describe your week in 6 words. It's really fun to play- so visit www.showmyface.com if you wanna join in. Cate started it. Blame her. :)

My six for the week?

It totally sucks that summer's over!

This is my last 'free' weekend of the summer. Next weekend will be lots of fun, with the first wedding in my family, but it's not a 'free' weekend. I have weddings to attend and family to play with! That's work! ;) And the weekend after that? Wedding number 2! So, really, my Saturdays are gone for a while. Then, the Saturday after that? Will and I will be on a honeymoon! ;P Even if our honeymoon is ALONE IN THE 'NEW HOUSE' because I STILL haven't sold the old one.

And, bugger all, another neighbour listed their home for sale. MUCH cheaper than mine. crappy. So not amused.

7/52- The Summer's Ending!!!

2009-08-21T21:47:00.006-06:00

It's Find Mom Friday. I'm back at the Calgary house for a whopping few hours doing another switch of children with Chris and grabbing another load of stuff from the 'old house'. It's amazing, now that I'm down to the end of the 'little stuff', I'm realizing I STILL have a lot of junk! Who knew I had so many boxes of maxipads under the sink!? Like, I could rival the hover dam for being able to stop liquid.. sheesh.

The other day I was in a FOUL mood. Like, stick a feather in my butt, FOUL! (yes, I know it's fowl, sillies) But Will tried the entire day to make me happier. I think there was just too much in my head, I was tired, I felt like I did everything the wrong way even when I was trying to help... just one of those days. and it had nothing to do with PMS, in case the previous paragraph led you to think that.

So, Will bought ~~healthy food because he knows I'm trying to fit into a wedding dress~~ pizza. Will drove us to a local park. Will took pictures of me and my ~~grumpiness~~ awesome children. Will was bound and determined to stop my crankiness from oozing into the kids.

And he did a pretty good job. I mean, I can be downright ~~lovely~~ not fun and, gasp, even witchy when I'm cranky. Will says he ~~is a glutton for punishment~~ still wants to marry me. What a man!

It's Small-Town Living at it's best and 6/52 (a bit late)

2009-08-19T01:48:00.001-06:00

I missed last week's Find Mom Friday-- but you all know my excuses. So, here's a buttload of pictures to satiate at least a FEW weeks' worth of Mom-photos! :) Although, I'll play fair and only count these as last week's entry.

Will is having a fun time taking me to all the 'hot spots' around our little podunk town. Although I may grumble about some of the aspects of living in a Southern Alberta, LDS-centred, what-the-freak-are-all-these-minivans-doing-here town, there are some DEFINITE sweet selling points to my new hometown, too.

At the start of the 'tour', Will has taken us to the parades and celebrations. Everyone's there. Everyone's PART of the parade. Candy is thrown by the truckloads!

(Mimi and Bear, filling his pant pockets with as much candy as he can gather)

Children nearly get run-over by mini-motorized cars, and everyone laughs at her cuteness and thinks it's normal. ( If you can't tell in this picture, yes, Mimi nearly DIED, but you know, she's a girl after my own heart-- there was some GOOD CANDY on that there road!!)

And, although my heart may TOTALLY jump out of my throat when I see THIS, (this HUGE truck is barreling down the parade route, with kids TOTALLY hanging out the side-- they could fall to their DEATH, but no one seems worried!) it's a town where I can accidentally leave my daughter's hat on the bench we're sitting at, and come back hours later after a thousand people have walked past to find it sitting nicely on the back of the bench, waiting for it's rightful owner to reclaim it. TRUE STORY.

Will has taken us to the creek. Where it's perfectly normal for everyone to strip down to their skivvies and swim. MY KIDS LOVED IT!!

Will has taught Mimi how to swim. Well. Kinda.

Will has taught Bear how to "run like a man" through the safe, SUPER wide streets.

Will has shown me how fun it can be to catch snakes in the bush and freak the heck out of the kids! LOLWill and I have enjoyed ripboarding down the paths.
But mostly, Will has introduced me to many great people. People who befriend me at church, who sit beside me, who introduce me to other great people, and who seem genuinely interested in making us feel welcomed.

All in all, my new hometown is bound to bring lots of great experiences. That's the best part about country, small-town living. Everyone knows everyone, everyone helps everyone, and the best of dirt and mud and memory-making moments reside there.

Directions to my new house

2009-08-18T01:07:00.001-06:00

I am learning a lot about the new place I live. Southern Alberta is quite a Mormon area. And it's pretty much guaranteed that there will be a daily conversation on lineage. (who are you related to? Where are you from? What's your maiden name? Do you know Joe?) Southern Albertans don't realize how odd it is to label people in such a way, and, to someone like me, (an outsider coming IN), it's intimidating and scary and strange. Really, WHO CARES what my Gramma's first brother's cousin's step-mother's name is?! And no, I'm not related to the same John Smith family as the ones who live on the corner in the blue house.

Sadder yet? I went to church in our new ward again this Sunday.
Introduced myself as Debbi "McSpanky", because I knew that introducing myself as Debbi Barber would prove useless as I'll be changing that last name in a few weeks. The next question, "what's your maiden name"...
And then later- "Who are you related to? Are you from Southern Alberta?"
And then, the inevitable, "Whose house did you move into?"

Where's the sad part, you ask? Well, I answered all of those questions (for the bagillionth time) as a Southern Albertan. Yes. I fell into the trap. ...I moved into "Jack Dawson's old home". The yellow one on the corner with the playground in the back.

Yes.

I gave that answer.

And everyone knew what house I was talking about.

If you're not from around Southern Alberta, and you wanna come visit me and Will, we'd love visitors. You may sleep on a foamie in the basement until the old house sells and we bring out beds over, but we'd still love to see ya. I may even bake cookies. Just don't ask me which house number it is. I couldn't tell ya. But we live right beside Norma Jean and right behind Gertrude and Thomas. You'll find us. Ask at the post office. They'll likely give you our mail to take to us too. But don't ask about Mrs. Johnson's health, or you'll hear all about her latest boil issue.

True story.

Time for Some Confusion

2009-08-17T00:40:00.009-06:00

While I wait for some unhallowed hour to come when my three monkeys will walk through the door, or more likely, be carried I have a moment or twelve to blog. FINALLY. Chris decided at the last minute to bring them home from BC a day early - leaving me scrambling to return the 2 hours back to Calgary in order to be here when they arrive. And, might I mention, he left at about 9 pm. And it's over 6 hours of driving. So, I may be up for a while yet.

I can't REALLY complain, though. I mean, Chris took the kids for the ENTIRE past week, so I could get the "old house" moved into the "new house". Don't let those confuse you-- it may be "NOT ME MONDAY", but when I say "old house", I mean the one I am moving out of-- NOT the "new house" I'm moving into. In reality, the "old house" is much newer than the "new house", seeing as "new house" was built about 30 years BEFORE "old house" was. Confused yet? :)

I have about one vanload left of "stuff" in this 'old house' to bring back to the new house. And then, old house is just a decorated shell. As I said before, I have one house that LOOKS functional... but ISN'T, and one house that DOESN'T look functional, but IS. Old house is just for show now. And hopefully, that show gets it a sale, too! Because I'd really like NOT to have two mortgages.

OOOOh...a few 'before' shots of our new house. For your ~~laughing~~ viewing pleasure. And yes-- we're FULLY aware that the kitchen is carpeted, the carpets in the house are wool and blue, OR shag, and yes, the curtains are to die for (or because of!). But in a few days, it'll be home sweet home. It's got GREAT square footage, and HUGE yard, and will fit our family. And I'm marrying a handy, clever, hard-working dude, so just you wait for the after pictures. Besides, it's not the furniture or the carpets that make a house a home...

Wedding plans are going great. I'm super super lucky to have some GREAT friends with amazing talents, and they're all CONVENIENTLY joining forces into one company. If you wanna see some of their work, check out their individual blogs or sites, (Vanessa= photography, Carla=catering, Keshia=graphic design, and Bree=Event planner) or, best yet, check out the company's blog, Mod Squad.

I'm also thrilled that so many others are helping-- sewing/altering dresses, decorations, music, cakes. Everything is coming together nicely, and we don't have much else to get ready. I can't wait to post pics for you guys.

And Will and I? buying a home and changing jobs and joining two families and renovations and merging bank accounts--- BIG changes. There's bound to be some speed bumps along the way of our first year of marriage. Lucky for us, being married before kinda helps us go into a new marriage with the understanding that those things lie before us. Unlike the first, VERY naive times we got married. This time, there's just a little less wool over our eyes. (let's not make another reference to the blue carpets already! ;) )

Six Word Saturday- Time

2009-08-15T10:10:00.004-06:00

One of These Days I'll Blog!!

I totally miss blogging, actually. I miss reading everyone else's blogs too. This week, though, it's just not possible...

I got most stuff moved to the new house this week while Chris has the kids. It's very uncomforting to have half of my stuff in one place, and another half 2 hours away and I kinda feel like a nomad... I don't know where home is right now. Alas, many people have taken time to help me get it done while I'm childless, so I appreciate that. ALMOST ready to make my new home my permanent home. Even though it's intimidating to me: I don't do well with change.

Wedding is coming up soon. September 11th better be a sunny day! :) But thankfully most stuff is done, or getting close, because school starts soon and I have enough other things to do. When I'm set up (or back at my own computer) I'll post our before pictures of the house. Get ready for it! LOL (those who've seen it understand why, but the rest of you-- it was a house built in the 70s... and it STILL looks like it: carpetted kitchen and everything!!! )

Did I mention that I'm totally in love?
Yah, just checking.

I wanted to leave on a good note. :)

(if you wanna play Six Word Saturday, visit Cate at http://www.showmyface.com/ and play along, kay?!)

Six Word Saturday- Moving

2009-08-08T00:08:00.004-06:00

Stressfull situations make for big growth.

Yep. That's my week. It's probably the theme for a few Six Word Saturdays to come. But if you'd like to play along, visit Cate at Show My Face dot com.

For the next two weeks, I'm back and forth between three cities, planning the wedding and moving HALF of my stuff. If this house would just sell already.

The best advice I got this week?
Instead of thinking about how busy and crazy and hectic and scary these million changes are in my life, remember how lucky I am to have a nearly FRESH start! A new ward, a new home, a new city, a new job (?) and a new family with my new husband...
All I need is a new wardrobe. :)

(okay, so I may have added that last part in)

(ooh, speaking of wardrobe, I picked up the dress yesterday. FUN. Will was there, and the lady brought it out to me and totally ditzed out until the other employee told her to take it to the back with this sense of urgency. No matter. It looks WAY hotter on! lol)

I Hope You Dance

2009-08-06T01:50:00.000-06:00

Ever heard that song, "I Hope You Dance", by Lee Ann Womack?
This weekend, at the wedding, I was reminded of this simple phrase in all its genuinity. (yep, real word).

You see, during the reception, God started a freak rainstorm. The sun was shining, and the mercury was still hovering around 30' C, (86' F), but the heavens opened and halted the celebrations for a while.

Weddings and rain never mix.

Unless you're a child like Mimi. And you're boiling hot. And you don't care that your hair will stick to your head, that your dress will be soaked, or that everyone may be watching you. You don't care about your makeup. Or your jewellery. Or a fake reputation you think you have to uphold.

All you care about is making yourself happy. And when a good tune comes on the speakers, and there's an empty dance floor, you remember that it's not about anything other than RIGHT NOW.

You find happiness in the raindrops. You find relief in the stormclouds. You find joy because you can still hear the music over the thunder.

And everyone watches you, and secretly wishes they had the joie de vie you have.

5/52, SWS-Weddings, NMM-Lessons, TT-Advice?

2009-08-05T06:02:00.001-06:00

I am in a funk.
Not a muse-funk-- in fact, I have TOO much to say! I have so many things going on right now, and I could take days and days just talking about each one.

Truth is, I don't have TIME to do that.
So, it's a funk as far as getting posts posted. I should join the P.O.S's. The Prisoners of Summer Bloggers. As in, since summer hit, I can't blog as much. Parole is in a month or two once school starts, the wedding's done, and I've moved.
I'm gonna do my best for the next while- but there's SO much going on, and I'm in the middle of so many time-consuming things, that blogging will continue to be sporatic and possibly mundane. Fair warning.

So, first things first. Let's play "KETCHUP".

Friday: Find Mom Friday! This was me at my good friends' wedding in Nelson, BC this past weekend. Well, not at the actual WEDDING. Who would wear a tube-top to that!? No, it was an outside wedding on the beach, and between the ceremony and reception, there were 4 hours to kill. So my (ex) mother-in-law and I took the kids swimming at the beach. It helped that it was a killing 37' outside that day! HOT HOT HOT!!

Saturday: Six Word Saturday. My six words for that day are, Wedding Vows Mean Something More Now. Watching Uncle Andrew and Joe join their two families the way that Will and I will be doing in a few weeks touched my heartstrings, and I had tears fall easily as I saw how much they had gone through to get to this precious moment in their lives. Chris was the best man, and looking up there at the couple and him standing beside them, while vows of fidelity and "forever love" and devotion were spoken, it was hard not to feel a bit of that heartache from years past. Remembering when he said those same things to me, promised. My heart said a prayer that they would ALWAYS love each other this way so they wouldn't have to end up like Chris and I did- hurt. I was reminded last night that I'm truly being blessed to have this new life in front of me with such a special man in Will.

Monday: Not Me Monday. I did NOT miss my man this weekend. I did NOT drive over 12 hours in a 24 hour time period. I did NOT learn a bunch of lessons this weekend, mostly from my children. I will NOT be blogging about those in the near future.

Tuesday: Tuesday Tunes. Of course, lately I'm listening to a lot of love or wedding songs. But my kids crack me up- while we drove home the other day, it was thunderstormin' somethin' fierce! The kids requested "Fire Burnin'" on the iPod. They loved watching the lightening crack to the beat, and we probably listened to that song on repeat about 6 times before *I* said I couldn't handle it another time! lol

And, Wednesday: Wednesday Ws:
Who: Me
What: hates playing "Ketchup"
Where: in my blog, in my journal, in my housekeeping, and in my LIFE!
When: when I forget to take the time to keep up
Why: because it always makes me feel unorganized when I don't have my thoughts written or typed down. It's just how I cope.

Flipped Out

2009-08-04T15:03:00.006-06:00

Remember that contest I won, on THIS post?

Well, remember how I won a bunch of coupons to give away as a 'reward' to my bloggy friends?
Well, remember that I haven't done that yet???

So, here it is:

If you'd like to win ice cream coupons for a pint of Ben and Jerry's Flipped Out Ice Cream, here's the simple rules to win.

I will reward one coupon to each person who comments on a time when they TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT. A freak out, a day spent on a trampoline, a tumble down some stairs-- ANYTHING counts. If you think you 'flipped out', leave a comment with the story, and you will be one of the winners!

Yep. that's because I have no imagination to make this contest any tougher!

And, lastly, you have to leave an email address for me in order to get the coupon to ya (the company sends them to you personally). You can email me your email personally *(debbirn2b@hotmail.com) or you can put it in the comments for us all to hound your inbox with.

***EDIT: These coupons are only valid in the USA. If you're a Canadian reader, and you want one, that's fine. There's lots of readers I know who travel to the US often. But, I didn't want to mislead us Canadians... They're only valid in the USA.

And one of these days I'll post something good. I'm stretched to the max right now with the wedding and moving and money and selling and coping and planning and cleaning and packing and...and.. and..

Happily Ever After

2009-07-30T08:28:00.007-06:00

The dress is bought! But that WASN'T the best part of the night.

No, NOT the dress.

I went to my final fitting. Again, not the best part.

You see, earlier in the afternoon, I was busy online, when I found a website that featured my X-weighted show. So, for the first time in, like, a YEAR, I watched the very beginning of the show, and the very end. Again, I HATED watching it, as I know what was happening behind the scenes and I hate how naive I look now. But, I like watching the physical change.

My 'before' photo I sent in with my application. Click for full fatness overload!

The other day, a publicist from the show asked me if I'd be willing to do a follow-up interview for the website they're launching in the fall with 'where are they now' information.

Of course, the first thing she asked, is did you keep the weight off? Are you still living a healthy lifestyle?

At the beginning of the show my measurements were 41.5 bust, 40 waist, 48 hips. At the end of the show, they were 35.5 bust, 32 waist, 41 hips.

It's been two years since filming began, and about a year and a half since it ended.

And last night, they took my measurements for the dress.

Last night? My measurements were 38 bust*, 32 waist, 38 hips.
The best part of the night- I knew I wasn't falling into my OLD life again. I was happy that I was a "permanently" changed person. I was happy that, when she asked me where I was now, I could report that I was divorced from Chris and engaged to be married to a wonderful, LDS man, my visions of a large family would come true, Will loves me no matter WHAT the scale says, and I was happy and healthy. It's happily ever after, and it hasn't even officially started yet.

*bust is obviously not the same- but that's understandably easily explained.

Tuesday Tidbits

2009-07-29T09:50:00.005-06:00

A post of tidbits. Not Timbits... although... I had some of those with the dayhome kids yesterday, and forgot how gross they are. I mean, I love donuts as much as the next person, but timbits are so much drier. Although, the handy bite-size makes me feel less guilty when I eat 20 of them. Those powder-covered ones are my fave!!

Last night, I donned my VERY FUN wedding shoes, and went with my lovely friend, Becka, dress shopping again at a friend's bridal store. Funny enough, the dresses we narrowed it down to are TOTALLY different than the dress from the other fitting with Sin and Babbling Brook. hmmmmm. Now what do I do? If Will didn't read the blog, I'd ask all of you your opinions. Alas, no pre-wedding shots here. But I'll help ya out-- just imagine: white or off-white dress. To the floor, or slightly above the knee. fitted on the waist or empire waistband. Low cut or not. Sleeveless or strappy or full-arms... :)

Invitations are out. That feels good.

And today's the last day I have with my longest-standing dayhome child! :( I've had Andrew for over 2.5 years now. It's sad that today's my last day with him. Moving on to bigger and better things.

House NEEDS TO SELL!!!!!!

yah. That's it for today. Pretty lame post- busy dong laundry and cleaning and getting ready for the long weekend coming up.

And check out this blog: www.cutelikemegiveaways.blogspot.com They always do fun give-a-ways. Not to mention, Hailey's awesome herself. After all, only the awesomest of people have a birthday on a holiday.

Mimi Makes Me Laugh

2009-07-28T07:52:00.000-06:00

*during family prayer*

Mimi: Heavenly Father, please bless us. Fank you... a house. Fank you... a fam'ly. Fank you...a temple. Fank you...a dessert and ice cream!

*Getting dressed in the morning, she brings me her dress*

Mimi: But Mom! I can not get dressed out here! People will see my pirates!
Andrew (dayhome kid, 3 years old): There's no such thing as pirates. Pirates are only on TV. Like Dora.
Mimi: Yes there is. Hers has pirates. Hes has a penis.
Andrew: Not pirates. Privates!
Mimi: No. See? (pulls up her dress.) My pirates.

***

***

Not Me Monday- Family

2009-07-27T08:48:00.001-06:00

So, I did NOT spend the weekend with extended family members.

Friday after work, I did NOT drive to Will's birthplace where I met a LOT of his family members and friends for the yearly celebrations they have there. I did NOT forget probably 90% of their names by the end of the night. I am NOT so fired from good-future-in-law of the year position.

However, I did NOT have fun going through the 'Josephine' haunted forest- a family tradition based on a very funny and cute folkstory about the family farm's heritage. Something about being raised by cows and forgetting to moisturize your ugly elbows and brush your teeth....and..uh... somebody loved someone else and then they all died.

After that, I did NOT get the worst stomach pains and did NOT spend the rest of the night hurting and feeling yucky.

Saturday morning, I did NOT then head to MY family reunion 3 hours north. I did NOT enjoy the beautiful countryside as I drove, sunroof open, music blaring.

Family farm on the left

Although I miss British Columbia, Alberta is gorgeous. I really did NOT like seeing some family members I hardly see, and did NOT catch up with a few distant cousins. I did NOT also LOVE seeing my nieces and nephews that live in ~~the centre of the universe~~ Toronto, albeit for a short time.

Saturday was a birthday party to commemorate 7 of our family members who are NOT older than 90 years. I also did NOT eat a piece of each of the 7 birthday cakes. I do NOT have a bet with Sin (and Andy) about how much weight to lose before the wedding, and I don't NOT think that eating 7 pieces, albeit SMALL pieces, is very helpful to my diet. Oh well.

They did NOT have a pig roast dinner, and I did NOT also eat far too much of that. Thankfully, my stomach was NOT kinda better. This family farm is NOT a haven for kids-- playgrounds, trains, a zipline, and, check this out---- this car does NOT have only two wheels. Pretty cute, if you ask me. And me and my brother did NOT also try out the Segway. And, in true prairie fashion, I was NOT surprised to decide to go home while the sun was NOT still totally hot and still shining. Although, it was NOT, like, 10 pm. All in all, it was a great visit.

Driving home

I am NOT off the computer to go send out our invitations today, and am NOT dreaming wedding-mares already. It is NOT annoying.

Six Word Saturday - Family

2009-07-25T03:17:00.000-06:00

Old people run in my family.

And by that, I mean it's hereditary to grow old, AND they run. Like... deer. Healthy brood, they are.

*I'm at my great-aunt's 100th birthday party today. It's a thing-- my dad's family all live until FOREVER, and hopefully I will also get to live 72 more years. As long as Will lives for 72 more years and a day, right Winnie?

For more Six Word Saturday, visit Cate at Show My Face dot com.

4/52

2009-07-24T15:10:00.004-06:00

It's Find Mom Friday.

Which sux, cuz this week I didn't even SEE my kids, so I couldn't have taken a picture of me with them.

:(

Instead, we'll use one from last week, since that's allllllls I gots. As you can see, this is a pic of me with all my daughters (and daughters to be) working hard at setting up camp! ;P It's tough being a girl.

I'm off to family reunions with Will's family, and a family birthday party on my side tomorrow, so have a GREAT weekend and we'll chat Monday when I'll tell ya what I DID NOT do. ;)

For now,
peace out.

Mom's Week Off

2009-07-23T08:06:00.005-06:00

Being without my kids for the week is taking its toll.

Firstly, it's awesome.
I got to sleep-in yesterday (as sleep-in as 8 am is... and for me, that's 2 hours!), and once the dayhome kids go home, I am FREE to do what I want (any old time?). I don't have to make dinners, my house is staying pretty dang clean (not that anyone's asked for a showing this week, which is both a relief because I don't have to leave and also a pain because that means it's not being sold and just FIGURES since this is the EASIEST time for me to show the place), and there's NO responsibilities to keep me at home at night.

So, last night I went out with Becka.

We went shoe shopping, and AMAZINGLY, found the shoes I was looking for for the wedding! The right colour, the right heel, everything perfect. Nice.
And we headed out for dinner after with Lena to The Olive Garden. Which, by the way, was soooooo yummy!

But, to my surprise, my kids came with me. Oh, every few minutes I'd end up thinking "Oh geez, it's getting late and I have to get back to relieve the babysitter" or "Chris is gonna be mad that I've been out so long, he probably wants to go home" or something along those lines. I'd actually have to TRAIN myself NOT to think about them and enjoy the night out.

We got home fairly late after traffic issues and going downtown to drop off dinner for Becka's working hubby, and it was odd to walk into an empty house that late at night. Not bad. Just... odd. The doors to their bedrooms have remained closed (so they don't get messed up by dayhome kids) and last night it was so hot, I opened every door and window to get some cross-breezes goin' on. Their little beds are still made. Their rooms SMELL like them. (remind me to give those bedrooms a bath! ;) )

And then I chatted with Will on the phone.
And my kids were there.

During the conversation, I had to remind myself that the kids weren't going to be overhearing anything I said. That I could talk 'loudly' and not worry about waking anyone up. Although, it's a relief to be able to have a full-blown conversation with someone and NOT be interrupted at least once with "MAAAHWHHHWMMM, soandso is looking at me!"

It is very odd not having them here. I had them alllll last week by myself, and I'll have them alllll next week to myself too. I'm enjoying my week-off, getting stuff done and relaxing. But it sure is empty, and ~~peaceful~~ quiet and a nice home-cation.

Wednesday Ws- Dress

2009-07-22T09:15:00.000-06:00

Who: Sin, Babbling Brook and I
What: had a blast
Where: at the bridal store
When: last night
Why: so I could try on wedding dresses. I didn't try on dresses when I got engaged to Chris... in truth, I didn't even SEE my dress until less than 12 hours before I got married. My awesome sister and I were the same measurements, so she sewed a dress (IN A WEEK!) and fit it to her. When I arrived in Calgary from Vancouver a day before the wedding, I tried it on. It fit exactly right. Pretty cool to have a sister that selfless with her time.

But THIS time, I tried on dress after dress. It was cute to watch Babbling Brook get super super excited with EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. We brought the camera, and she went to town taking photos of every dress I tried on, even pictures of the wall, the chair, the veils....

All in all, it was a fun experience. It was good to try on a bunch of different styles so I could know what TYPE of dress I'd like best.

And when they say when you find THE ONE, you just know?

Yah. We totally had that moment. It made me feel shiny. It got us allllll excited. It inspired hair accessories and visions and squeals. It's so pretty. We even tried on others AFTER that one, and nothing made me feel like that one.

Then we scoured for shoes, checked out flowers... had a total "girlie/wedding" night.
I even managed to get Will to agree to the wording for the invitations without pulling too many teeth, although, I'm pretty sure guys have a daily allotment of wedding planning before their heads explode, so that was the extent of our decisions for yesterday.

And it's Wednesday, so time for Jillybean's Word Verification Wednesday. Type in the word verification in the comment section, and make up a dictionary definition to go along with it. Play as much as you want, and if you don't like the word, just refresh the page for a new one.

Have fun!

My To-Do List

2009-07-21T09:26:00.002-06:00

Do you know how many things need to get done for a wedding???

We have limited time to get it all done in. Which, in THIS short of time, is tough enough. But with moving and school and all that ON TOP of what is going on by then-- yikes. Even more stressful. My first wedding, we were engaged and married in a week. We had lots of people help pull off a quick wedding for $1000.00! Dress, rings and food for 75 included. But this one isn't like that... so:

Make the guest list
Fight over who is important enough for the list.. and by fight, I mean with our family members who think Gramma's brother's married-uncle Sam needs an invitation. Although no one has spoken to him for a decade.
Take a new photo for the invitations (or do we just use one we already have, since we have a MILLION to pick from?)
Print up the photos
Make the invitations
prune the guest list
Find addresses for all those people you don't usually send mail to, like Uncle Sam. (you knew you were gonna lose that fight, right? right? )
throw away the guest list and start a new one
Find addresses for all those people you send mail to, but have been facebooking with for years instead
Forget the frikken invitations and send out a mass email on Facebook. Or better yet, start a Facebook group! lol (I hate those wedding group pages)
Try on dresses
Cry at how fat you feel in the dresses, storm out of store because you're IRATE that their sizes MUST be wrong
Go on immediate water diet
try on dresses again
Find a dress out of your price range
Consider paper bags, or duct tape (WHAT THE?)
Go online and find the dress second-hand, cheaper
Get the dress in the mail to find it's Purple
Change your wedding colours to purple.
Find flowers you LOVE LOVE LOVE.... but they only come in red
Find shoes- they come in orange only.
get the food figured out
decide a wedding is too much work, elope 2 days before the wedding date, and tell everyone their invitations must have had a typo.

Yep.
Will, I love you, but who's idea was this?! ( haha.)

Not Me Monday- Camping

2009-07-20T09:56:00.006-06:00

I am NOT back.
I did NOT have the BEST time!
I do NOT think Will's family is crazier than I knew they were.
And that does NOT make me happier, knowing he still has yet to meet most of MY family! muahaha. And, heck, we already know he can handle crazy.

I am NOT tanned after spending the entire week at the foot of the beach.
I am NOT bruised all over my hips from sleeping on the tent floor.
I did NOT miss my bed!

I did NOT love swimming.
I did NOT love learning to ride the new ripsticks Will and I have.
I did NOT enjoy kayaking around the lake to see the turtles and fish in the SUPER CRYSTAL CLEAR water, and I did NOT laugh my butt off when Em tipped the kayak while she and I were in it!
By the way, the water was NOT cold and refreshing.
I did NOT love that my kids got a heck of a lot more water confidence after this week, even though there were a few moments that I had to 'save' Mimi.
I did NOT love being goofy with the kids.

I did NOT give my kids to Chris for the week, while they camp with him and my ex-in-laws.
I am NOT happy to have a week to myself (minus dayhome kids during the day) to get some wedding planning done.

I am NOT excited that Will and I have a house to move into.
I am NOT happy to live closer to my family.
I am NOT moving in a few weeks, even if this place doesn't sell by then. Which means, I will NOT be living out of suitcases for a while.

I am NOT so in love!
Oh, did I mention, I do NOT think Will is DANNNNNG hot?! ;) And he's NOT all mine. :D
I do NOT think my little Willy rocks. (haha, that sentence is NOT funny!)

I am NOT upset that the house across the street has a conditional sale sign.
I am NOT hoping I'm next.

Six Word Saturday- Marrying a King

2009-07-18T00:43:00.001-06:00

Kissed Many Frogs. Finally Found Prince.

For more SWS, join Cate by clicking on the button below! Have fun!

2009-07-17T00:37:00.000-06:00

*still on vacation, but here's a picture showing our soon-to-be family dinners, with Sin and her family too.

Let's hope this pre-posting is working again. Silly blogger.

When Ya Gotta Go...

2009-07-15T10:51:00.003-06:00

So, the showing yesterday....

For ya'll who aren't from Calgary, it's been rainy and thundery and lighteny lately 'round these parts. (and, apparently, that kind of weather brings out my inner Honkey tonk-- sheesh, ONE day at the Stampede and my cool quotient is GONE!)

So, yesterday, when the showing happened, I had the dayhome kids with me. We couldn't walk to the park, as it was not only rainy but COLD outside. And so I packed them into the van, and we drove down the street to watch a movie on the DVD player, and wait the hour.

An hour in a parked car with 7 kids is ANNOYING!!!!! At about 10 minutes to the end of the hour, the two three-year olds tell me that they both have to potty. And by 'have to', they mean NOW. In fact, Mimi even suggested that she peed on the grass. Which, not that it mattered to her, was someone's front lawn.

SO I drove home. Usually, the showing only takes 10 minutes tops. So arriving back at the house 10 minutes early isn't usually a big deal. But when I got in the house, there was no indication (business card, lights off) that anyone had arrived.

So I called my realtor, wondering if this was a cancelled showing again. It wasn't, so we were both confused.

All the kids went out to play.
And then all the kids came inside screaming, "They're HERE! The people who want to see the house are heeeeeere!!"

Great. Two minutes of the hour left.

I shove all the kids back out to the van, shoeless or not. Appologizing to the realtor for being in the house, she and her clients watch me pack the van profusely full of children.

I get in the van.
"Everyone in?"

"No. Andrew isn't!"

oh crap.
So I run into the garage door to find Andrew. He's still in the bathroom. (one of the three year-olds who needed to potty) Luckily, he didn't lock the door, so I go in to rush him out.

OH CRAP.

LITERALLY.

He has poohed his pants, smeared it all over the toilet seat, down on the floor, IN BETWEEN HIS TOES, and all over himself. And, the realtor and the clients are already IN the house!!!!

I grabbed a towel, wrapped him in it, wiped the toilet with wet toilet paper just to make it LOOK clean (ew. SOOO sanitizing that when the showing is over!) and clean the floor. turn on the fan because MAN IT STINKS IN HERE, and pick up poop-boy and get into the van.

Then I drive down the street, and spend 20 minutes cleaning poop off a child with wet wipes that I keep in the car for emergencies.

I'm sure THIS will be the couple that buys the house, right? ;)

Like a Chicken With It's Head Cut Off

2009-07-14T11:14:00.003-06:00

Gasp- two posts in one day?

Yah.
Remember the list I had to do today?!!! (see post below)

Remember the part: Call the realtor? Yah, he called me. We lowered the price on the house, and he called all the realtors who had people who had come to see it to let them know.

Ten minutes later, a second showing.

*YIKES*
Like I had nothing else to do today other than clean a house!!!!! AHHHHH. Sell, sell, sell!!!

Checking in, checking out.

2009-07-14T08:19:00.006-06:00

So, today is gonna be one of those OHMYGOSHWHEREDIDTHEDAYGO type of days! I'm taking off with ***my future husband** (squeal of joy) and the in-laws camping tomorrow, but I have a MILLION things to do today to get ready: laundry, packing, cooking, cleaning the house so it can get sold while I'm gone, calling the realtor, calling a few friends, hopefully celebrating the purchase of a new home Will bought, making wedding plans, watching kids, getting passport photos done for the kids.. all this withOUT my ring (which Will took back to get sized, and possibly exchanged for Palladium, as I'm allergic to gold)! :(

Last night Will and I took my kids to Costco to buy food for the week. For ALL 9 of us. And let me tell you, it was hilarious. We bought 9 loafs of bread!!! Bought 2 jugs of milk, spent 20 bucks on BREAKFAST cereal!! Spent a fair amount of cash, and we're ONLY camping until Sunday! It was a lesson on reality; that once we're married, we'll be doing this on a regular basis. yikes. lol

I'll be out with everyone until Sunday, after which, Chris will meet us half-way and take my kids and the van camping with his family for the week. I still have to work, so I'll be back Monday.

Until then, friends, I'll miss reading all about your lives, but I'll catch up with ya next week!!!
Just pray that the thunder and lightening storms ease up this week-- I'd LIKE to play outside instead of all of us crammed into my borrowed sister's trailer or my tent for 5 days! yuck. (and by borrowed sister's trailer.. I mean I borrowed the trailer, not the sister! )

Suddenly, I'm Craving French Loafs of Bread

2009-07-13T09:16:00.006-06:00

So, this weekend was so much fun!

Will and I headed out on Saturday morning, and decided to just have a fun "date-day", no kids, no schedules, no plans. Thankfully, he brought his Rollerblades, and so we drove downtown to blade through Prince's Island Park. It was funny, Will hadn't been on his Rollerblades in YEARS, so it was hilarious to watch him nearly biff it once. I'm sure the passing cars enjoyed the visual too. We had a lot of fun, although our feet were sore by the time we decided to go back to the car! Totally, the best part of the day!

Then we drove up to Peter's, shared a milkshake, onion rings and burger. And HOLY CRAP I love Peter's. Forget the exercise, I think PETER'S was the best part of the day! ;)

We headed back to the Stampede grounds, and after finding parking (not the easiest to do on the last Saturday of the Stampede), we got into the gates. Walked around a bit, taking in the million smells and sights. We went on this one ride, The Skyscraper, where they strap you in nice and tight and then spin you around a massive circle at 4Gs! Will and I were screaming and laughing our heads off, and, suspended 160 ft in the air was exhilarating!!
It topped ANY ride I had ever gone on with ANYONE, and was DEFINITELY the highlight of the day, as everywhere we went you could see that ride and we'd just laugh and remember how fun it was.

My favourite part of the Stampede is the agricultural buildings with the goats and animals, so we headed into the buildings to check out the huge horses and uh...cows and sheep.

And, of course, to defile the livestock!

At one point, we left the buildings, and ended up slightly outside the grandstand where the chuckwagon races are held. We found some bleachers there, and decided that since we were both tired and fighting off a bit of a headache, we would sit there for a bit.

I sat on the bench in front of him, leaning up against his knees. Although it was getting later in the day, and slightly cold, when Will asked if I wanted to go get his coat from the car, I declined. It was too nice to sit and I didnt' want to walk all the way back to the car. We were playing with our little mood rings, and he had mine and I had his. It was awesome, we got to see some horse-pull teams come RIGHT in front of us to 'warm up', and just chilled on that bench for a while. I was holding Will's hands, on his lap, which was kinda behind my back, when I gave Will back his ring. He put mine back on my finger, and we sat there for a while just holding hands. He must have been getting cold, though, as he was starting to shake when he pulled out his camera, and we took this HORRIBLE photo.

Then, he let go of my hand, and I saw his hand.

There were two mood rings on his hand: his.. and... MINE?!!!!!

That's when it clicked in!
I looked at my hand.

He was already on his knees behind me, and said "I've talked with your Dad, and he thinks it'd be a good idea if you said you'd marry me. All you have to do is say when and say YES!"

Of course, I said "It's about Freaking Time!" And then. after saying yes, we kissed and I fought back tears. We talked about how he had tried to talk to my dad a FEW times, we talked about when, we talked about how his kids helped him pick the beautiful ring and gave him suggestions on "how" to propose in a fun way.

We're ENGAGED!!!!!!! I am sooooo freaking excited!!!!!!!

It was soooo fun telling our kids. His daughters were so excited, Em especially. When we told MY kids, LL was screaming and soooo excited!

My brother and sister are both getting married at the end of Summer, within a week of each other. And seeing as all my siblings will be there, we figure it's easiest to just plan our wedding around that time, when everyone can make it already.

So, although we're not decided on a DATE yet, we have two dates in mind. I'll keep you updated! For now, I'm gonna have to admit that getting engaged was DEFINITELY the best part of the day! And, of the year.

Engaged on July 11th. Oh Thank Heaven, for Seven Eleven! ;)

Six Word Saturday- Ye Hawwww

2009-07-11T00:01:00.001-06:00

I'm Off Stampeding with My Cowboy

For more SWS (Six Word Saturday), click on the button and join Cate!

My sister Kiki and her fiance Ken visited last night. They went to the Calgary Stampede and reported back: Good times. Ricockulous ~~outfits~~ prices. Bad food. Shiny fireworks and flashing ~~women~~ lights, Horrible line-ups, and smelly ~~fat men~~ farm animals. What more could one ask for!?

So, guess where Will and I are excitedly headed for the day!? :D

3/52 and As My Friend, Montgomery Burns Would Say: "Exxcelleeent!!"

2009-07-10T00:06:00.001-06:00

Hey! So, remember this post, from not too long ago? It was that one where I entered into a contest for 'looking back' on a post from when I first started blogging and comparing it to now.

Yeah, well the other day, I won! (okay, I was one of 7 winners, but still, that's pretty great) How awesome is that, hey?

You can read all about my claim to stardom *here*. Then you can beg me unashamedly for one of the Ben & Jerry's coupons I have. Maybe I'll even do my very first giveaway. Although, that takes a lot of work, and to be quite honest, I'd probably rig the results, just for the sake of feeling all powerful and omnipotent! muahaha.

Cuz everyone knows, I need to feel SOME sort of power in my life. :)
Besides, it's so unlike me to share ice cream. Let's be honest here.

Oh, and it's Find Mom in Foto's Friday.
So:

This was Family Home Evening this past Monday night. We did a ~~high quality, slave all day making it~~ 'board game', girls against boys, on which Latter-Day Prophet said which quote. Girls won by a landslide. Then we had pie and ice cream. As you can see, I dressed up for the occasion by wearing sweat capris and Will's T-shirt. Stylin' eh?

Finding Answers

2009-07-09T00:04:00.000-06:00

Yesterday Will and I spent a day in ~~medication~~ 'meditation' (well, 'round these parts, as much meditation as can be had with 9 children running around-- but as we read: Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees. ~Victor Hugo, Les Misérables, 1862: . Yesterday was a day of prayer and fasting. For me, it was a day to find answers and peace and assurance that the pathways I'm on right now are leading me in the right direction.

For those of you non-LDS (not mormon people), fasting in my faith is believed to be VERY powerful. It is a strong plea and sacrifice to God for answers/peace/health. Usually, fasting is taking NOTHING by mouth VL (water or food) for a 24-hour period, beginning and ending with a prayer and a purpose. I have fasted for various things, and not once have my prayers been unheard or unanswered. Usually, I've been blessed enough that the answers are also expediently given. I have seen miracles happen. Fasting works.

Interestingly enough, yesterday was the hardest fast I can ever remember having. The temptation to break the fast early only confirmed in my heart that the things I was asking for were righteous and likely NOT what the adversary wanted me to get answers to.

I think there were some answers given in the middle of the day. Some before bed. Some are yet to come.

Now, I just wait with faith.
I feel lucky to have such a powerful resource at my fingertips.

Prayer may not change things for you, but it for sure changes you for things. ~Samuel M. Shoemaker

I Need A Nap

2009-07-07T16:03:00.006-06:00

I am exhausted.

I'm tired from cleaning. Tired from having my sleep schedule off-kilter. Tired of no routine-- I thrive best on stability and routine and consistency. I'm tired of hoping for a showing to produce something good. Tired of reminding myself not to hope. Tired of having that last 10-minute freak-out of trying to clean while the kids are making an equal amount of work in another area of the house. Tired of being STUCK at home because of car seats.

I'm tired of weeds in the garden. (okay, not really a valid complaint, but while I'm on a roll)

I'm tired of answering the same question with more questions-- "where are you moving to"? I don't know. "When?" I don't know. "Do you have a house already?" I don't know.. (okay, NO, not really, but kinda sorta..hard to explain) "What are you going to do when you move for work, another dayhome?" I don't know.

Tired of Exes. Tired of shaking my head at exes who read the blog EVERY DAY. Tired of money-talks with Chris. Tired from our mediation this morning where I just want to spout obscenities at him and become one of those types of exes, but instead I wear myself out just biting my tongue. Tired of feeling like I have to fix every problem that HE inflicts on my life. Tired of being told that things aren't fair. Tired of not knowing what the next months and years hold in regards to Chris. Tired of hearing about him going back to school. About his lack of employment. About his stress levels....
join the club, bucko.

I'm tired of kids. Some kids are here for almost 12 hours. Some are a LOT of work. Most are good, but the dynamics of 11 kids is tiring. I'm tired of my OWN kids. I am ready for a weekend off (after two weekends WITH the kids to even out the month later). I'm tired of stopping arguments and listening to whining. I'm tired of their disrespect and back-talking recently. I'm tired of being 100% solely responsible for their spirituality. It's exhausting, albeit awesome, to think about activities and scripture stories and such EACH WEEK for FHE and each NIGHT, even when Sin and her family help. In truth, I'm tired of not seeing my friends much lately, either.

I'm tired of the emotional roller coaster on dating after divorce. The fears. The insecurities. The excitement. I'm tired of a long-distance relationship with Will. I'm tired of being without him.

I'm ready for a nap. I can't wait for things, which seem all up in the air right now, to finally come together in the next little while.

And, there's a LOT of good things in my life right now. LOTS. So, this is just a post to say...
I'm tired.

Even My Underwear Were Wet!

2009-07-05T16:20:00.010-06:00

This weekend with Will was awesome, eventful and full... the kind of weekends worth remembering.

You saw Friday night's date of folding lots and LOTS of laundry. We watched "The Power Of One", which is one of my all-time favourite movies and definitely worth watching if you haven't seen it!Saturday morning we attended a Stampede Breakfast at our new chapel down the street, put on by our community association. During the breakfast, our realtor held an open house, so we were 'out' for the day. Thankfully, there was a fair amount of traffic that went through the house. Good feedback, in general.

The breakfast, much to my shock, was PACKED! I had no idea THAT many people lived around here.... it was a good hour-long wait in line to be served. Good thing we had no where else to be.

Then we ran a few errands, and then Will and I decided to go car shopping. So we spent a few hours checking out 9-passenger vehicles. Which, in case you were wondering, aren't easy to come across. Unless you wanna van like this, which, (Terri, I love you, but) I simply can't do!!!

After a drive to Peter's Drive-In (mmmmm), we stopped back at the house for late afternoon naps. I fed the kids some supper, and Will and I 'dressed up' to go on a real-live date! So, I took him to Open Sesame, introduced to me by Becka and Lena! Thanks sexy babes!

Surprisingly, we got a table right away, seeing as it was dinner-rush hour and stampede week. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Calgary Stampede, it's the 'greatest western outdoor show on earth', and there's millions of people in the city all dressed up like this. And no one finds it odd. True story. That's the beauty of Stampede. But it's a pain because everywhere is filled to the brim with Yahoo'ers and Pardners and scantily-clad Save-a-horse type of girls.

I digress.

So there we are, eating at Open Sesame. It's got a Mongolian-grill type of menu option, so Will and I filled our bowls with our stir-fry veggies and set them down at the grill to return to our ordered drinks. I had clamato juice, Will had lemonade. (and you wonder why this matters?)

I picked up my cup to bring the straw to my lips, and suddenly, I am DRENCHED.

DRENCHED. In clamato juice.

Shocked, I look at my cup, still in my hands. The bottom of the cup, however, was NOT in my hands. It was still on the table! Literally, it's as though someone took the bottom right off with a glass-cutter.

The server was shocked. Will was shocked. I was SOAKED. The server suggests she'll find me another drink...

uh....
no.
Thanks anyways, but I think we'll take that dinner to go!

So, they comp'ed our dinner, and gave us a voucher for dry cleaning of BOTH of our outfits, as Will also got a bit on his clothes.

Red. Tomato. Juice. ALLLLL OVER ME!!!

front view... not too bad, right?

"Rear" view- I look like I wet my pants! Click for full effect! LOL!

We headed BACK home, changed, and headed back out. But this time we went to watch the sun go down, and ate in the van, laughing about the events of the night.

After 'dinner', I took him out dancing, and we were back to take the babysitter home by midnight. We're so old! :)

Today was the dedication of our new chapel.
It was AWESOME to walk to church this morning, it was awesome to see some friends from other wards, it was REALLY awesome that Sin saved us a pew in the chapel and NOT on the metal chairs in the gym, and it was awesome to sit with Will beside me. It was NOT awesome to get a migraine before the opening song was even over. The building is pretty, and I am grateful to have the privilege to attend there each week, albeit not for much longer. *cue house sell NOW*

It has been a wonderful weekend full of memories, laughs and intimate cuddles with my man whom I love to pieces.

This weekend
I. Feel. Truly. Blessed.

Six Word Saturday- Last Night

2009-07-04T08:33:00.002-06:00

Folding Laundry Makes One Hot Date
(Complete with folding underwear! :) )

2/52

2009-07-03T13:58:00.004-06:00

So, we're on week 2 of the "Find Mom in Fotos" challenge. I was in a lot of pictures this week, so this one wasn't too tough.Watching the dancing and bad kareoke with D-Jo and a few of our kids. Ignore Mimi's look of sadness, she was having a GREAT time.

I caught Will stealing my camera, so I flashed him a smile. Again, let's ignore Mimi-- simply cuz it's gross! ;)

I'd update you all on everything else, but for once, I have NOTHING to report. YAY and NAY. Yay, because that means life is chugging along at a perfect pace, I'm happy, everyone I love is healthy and supportive, I have food on my table, and my kids are good. Nay because I haven't sold a house yet. And it's currently super messy with the possibility of an open house again tomorrow. But Yay cuz Stampede started officially this morning, which means free meals for 10 days, and, to top it off, it's the weekend and I'm spending it with Will and my kids. What else could I need?!

Canada Day

2009-07-02T15:59:00.006-06:00

Kay, guys, You KNOW I love you and all. Because I ~~should~~ *COULD* be napping, but I'm updating everyone on the holiday yesterday instead. Yep. Because I love you. And because my eyeballs are too sunburnt to shut and my muscles are too sore to lay on.

Yesterday started WAY early, as I woke up Will and Bigguy along with my kids, and we drove down to Raymond for a Canada Day Parade first thing in the morning. We ran into quite a few people Will knows (small-town living-- everyone is related to everyone) and in fact, I ran into a few of MY family members too. My parents and Uncle Kannie joined up at our spot outside Will's sister's house, and we sat and watched ~~the kids get attacked by candy-throwing participants~~ the parade.We met up with Will's ex, who then dropped off the other kids. Armed with ARMLOADS and cheek-fulls of candy, the 9 of us then drove to a huge reservoir where some more of Will's family was meeting.

When they say those folding camp-chairs only hold 200 lbs, WHAT do THEY know?!

It was a SUPER good time. Potluck-ish lunch, sunshine, boating and tubing, and playing. Again, at Will's ~~VERY DISTANT~~ family reunion thingy, we also met up with a few of my quite distant family members. AND I MEAN DISTANT, so No, I'm not kissing my cousin. :)After we were all fairly pooped (don't start me on how literal I'm being on that one! ew.) we drove to Will's home town where they had a "Party In The Park" with native dancing and music and food and bouncers and such. And more candy.

Dancing the Macarena- some dances never die. LOL

A few hours and a couple more meltdowns from VERY tired children later, we sat on the big hill and watched Fireworks until about 11:30 pm.

The Girls of the Day. LL, Grace, Em, Mimi and I

Then, we squished 9 of us into my 7-seater van and drove the 1/2 hour back to Will's Ex's home to drop of the kids.

And then, it was 2 hours back to MY home ..where we arrived around 3...so that I could work at 6:30 this morning.

But, as you see, we had a GREAT day and enjoyed each other's company immensely. And, in spite of this picture, I think we came out not TOO horribly scarred from the candy overdose! Clockwise from top middle: Will, LL, Grace, Taylor, Me, Em, Bigguy, Mimi and Bear in the middle

Catch Up From The Weekend

2009-06-30T08:03:00.008-06:00

I'm sad that my blogging is 'failing'. My pre-post option isn't functioning properly on blogger, and I had posts pre-written and scheduled that never showed up while I was away from the computer. (So, No, Cate, it wasn't your google reader). What makes me most sad is that I have ten kids a day here at the dayhome for the next 2 weeks, and finding a few minutes to blog is tough. So preposting may sound like a great idea, but the posts aren't posting anyways. Expect sporadic, semi-discombobulated posts like this one!

Yesterday, I had ten kids. And two showings! We spent the first one at the playground. The second one was during dinner hour, so thankfully Sin and her family invited us to eat and have Family Home Evening with them.

BY THE WAY, 10 kids eat over a loaf and a half of bread for lunch sandwiches! It was a lot of bread!

THANKFULLY, I had Will helping me. And Uncle Kannie. AND Auntie Kennie (Uncle Kannie's ex girlfriend came over to see the kids, too). Will stained my deck, which looks AMAZINGLY better. He fixed the broken screen on a window, and put the basement back together from the leak.

I would take a picture, but my camera battery died this weekend in the middle of when I went to Waterton with my kids to play with Will. So, no such hot pictures!

Friday night, I picked up Uncle JJ from the airport, and we drove (quite late at night) to my parents' home. Slept there, and enjoyed a lazy morning before I packed the munchins up for Waterton. Once checking in with my painting Will, I took them to the classic touristy spots, since they'd never been.

We had lunch, got ice cream, and lucky for us, there was a play in the park put on by the "rangers", so we enjoyed some free entertainment too. And then the camera died. :(

Once we picked up Will and his son B-Ray (whom, from hereafter is referred to as "Bigguy" because that's what Mimi calls him) and the other painter, we drove to Cameron Lake and went on a bit of a hike through the trails before the boys jumped into the glacial water!!!

Saturday night, Gramma D watched my kids so Will and I could go on a date. Which, really, consists of visiting friends and looking at houses to buy. We may (or may not have) gotten MORE ice cream, and then we drove out into the outskirts of town, passing eagles and bucks and mosquitoes galore!

Then, we watched the AWESOME night sky. Overlooking the city and the temple, the stars that night were absolutely breathtaking. We saw about 7 shooting stars! A few satellites and a huge crick in the neck later, we left. It was very sweet and romantic.

Sunday: church. Dinner. Naps. Walks.... and then a drive home.

All in all, a nice, easy weekend. Just my favourite kind!
And now I'm off to get ready for ANOTHER showing in a few hours and to go charge my camera batteries!

Looking Back

2009-06-28T01:49:00.002-06:00

So, I'm part of a group called 20 Something Bloggers, and they have a contest on right now. You can read all about it here. It explains it all there, but in short, this post is a part of 20SB’s Looking Back Blog Carnival, and Ben & Jerry’s is awarding free ice cream to lucky bloggers and readers! And come on, guys, it's ICE CREAM!! I'm a sucker for something yummy! (VL)

In order to participate, I just pick a post from my first 2 months in blog-land that shows where I was mentally and, like, deep inside my head. So, here it is.... It's funny how much has changed since then. How much we know now.

Let's go back to May 24th, 2008. (since I technically started blogging in April 2008)

****

"My Last Secret"

My kids know now, so the 'cat's out of the bag,' so to speak. Now, it's time to let you know what's been going on in my life to the extent of what my children know.

Tonight, we told my three kids that Chris will be leaving June 1st. He's going to go live somewhere else for at least the month of June, possibly returning in July, possibly not returning at all. This decision has been in the works for about 4 months now. It's hard to fully explain everything to everyone, as some details are more meant for family and some are just meant for Chris and I. But some things need to be said.

Chris and I love each other. If you saw the X-Weighted TV show, you'll see that there are issues with Chris' desire to be married. It's not about being married to me specifically, but about being part of a family. And we both know that no marriage will survive if both parties aren't FULLY committed to working on it. We have done so much growth in these past 4 months, more than can be shared. We have learned how to communicate in a whole other language. We have learned what we each NEED versus WANT in a marriage, and neither of us believe that the other should have to lose their needs just to stay married.

Because I love him so deeply like I do, I know this is essential to his growth. There's no other option. And our marriage counsellors and clergy are behind us, working with us and guiding us in proper directions. We aren't fighting or angry. We are doing this for the betterment of our marriage, the betterment of ourselves and in time, the betterment of our children. They deserve to be part of a family where love, respect and commitment are strong and obvious. If I can't find that in this marriage, with God's plan, I hope to find it elsewhere. They deserve that. As do I.

Ask questions. It's okay to be confused and sad and even angry... It's the same thing we told our children. The next few days are going to be tough-- prayers tonight invoked tears from both LL and Bear for their father's choice. They asked me lots of questions, and I believe LL cried herself to sleep. Bear is still awake, and asked me to sleep in bed with him. Obviously, they're going to be dealing with the aftermath of their father's choices for a long time. I just hope that the positive in the long run outweighs the negative we feel now.

***
Wow. Back then, I hadn't yet spoke of Chris' affair. No one knew who EF was.
I hadn't yet spoke of why he wasn't returning.
I hadn't met anyone that I thought I could love more, or who could love me.

I am so glad I'm not there anymore.

Six Word Saturday- Open House

2009-06-27T00:04:00.003-06:00

Another Saturday, another chance to join Cate's Six Word Saturday funnage by clicking on the button!

Open House: You Should Live Here!

FIFTY-TWO "FIND MOM" FRIDAYS!!

2009-06-26T00:09:00.003-06:00

Last night we went to the Block Party for the soccer camp that the Baptist church puts on every year. I've put my kids in it for 3 years, and it's a SUPER program! They just rock. I'm so annoyed, however, as this year they're only doing it for the little kids, and the program they're running for the bigger kids is during a week I'm out with Sin and Will's family, camping.

But, that soccer camp is where I met EF years ago. And I'm always afraid of running into her again at these block parties and such. Is it kind of wrong for me to be relieved that she's likely seen the FOR SALE sign on my lawn and now she knows I'm going to be gone?! Half of me expects her to phone me to ask where I'm moving to or something once she sees the SOLD sign. I find that lately I am much more paranoid about running into her unexpectedly. Or, worse, that she calls me or something with the excuse that she has money she wants to get to me (which, yes, she DOES owe me money, but I'm SOOOO letting it go- not worth the phone call.)

There's certain times I find myself more prone to thinking about her- and the soccer camp is one of them. And although I didn't put my kids into the community soccer this year, her daughter and LL were on the same team one year, so when I drive past the teams playing, I can't help but wonder if they're there.

Are her and Steve still together? Last I knew, he was living in the basement. Was that her car? Does her daughter still get on the bus at the end of my street? Do they still live in the house I designed? Is she still using that horrible, semi-abusive dayhome? Is she sleeping with THAT dayhome-mom's husband?! (oops, was that my outside voice?!)

It's an obsession at times. An annoying obsession I'd like to be DONE with. It's not all the time, either, and it goes away. But right now, I find it creeping back in. And I don't like her in my thoughts, as I don't find it productive in any way. I'd like to say it doesn't happen, but I think it'll be many years before time passes and I'll realize I didn't think about her even ONCE. This, in my opinion, is expected and normal. And it's rarer and rarer lately. Which just reaffirms: It will be nice to move away.

On other notes:

I'm joining a year long challenge, created by Carin at Forever In Blue Jeans. The goal is to be in one picture a week, for 52 weeks. Since us moms are always behind the camera, this gives us a chance to get out in front and be in the pictures with our family. So, click on the button if you want to join in on the fun!

So, here's Week One of 52, me and Mimi and Bear at the soccer camp/block party last night. I think it was a bit sunny! ;)

The End and The Beginning

2009-06-25T06:06:00.001-06:00

SCHOOL'S OUT. FOR. SUMMER!

Remember this?: (first day of school this year)

Now we have this:
Think they're a bit excited about summer vacation!? This may be the last day they get to wear these uniforms, though, assuming we move before school starts next year. :(

And so now my blogging may decrease even more. I'm hoping to find some time to blog, as the house is filled with dayhome school-aged kids who entertain the regular little ones. And we will be outside, avoiding further damage to the house I am trying to sell. We had *two* showings yesterday, so at least people are coming in! PRAY HARDER, PEOPLE-- I need out of this place.

People keep telling me it took 50 or 100 showings before they sold their homes. Or how they lost money. Or how it was 6 months before they got an offer! BUT, the good thing is that my realtor talked with one of the realtors who brought someone through yesterday, and the feedback was really positive in regards to price and how the house shows. So, I was happy to hear that. I realize we're only on the first week of being listed, but holy moly, I'm soooo done with selling.

I feel totally in limbo until this place is sold. It's hard to feel like I can't plan school, or housing, or vacations or work or whatever-- I don't know where I'll be when. Standing still in a horrible dormant feeling is driving me to bite nails and break out. I just want routine. Stability. And direction. It's how I work best-- it's when I feel in control of my life.

So, let's hurry and get a move on (literally) so I can Make The Changes I need to make.

If You're Looking For A Post on How to Have a Divortion with a Hermaphrodite That Exacerbates Folding Panties, Whoa, You've Come to the Wrong Place

2009-06-24T06:01:00.002-06:00

So, using my super-secret, high-tech analytic gadgets , I can ~~stalk~~ track what happens on this blog, where people come from, and what brought them here. I thought I'd share with you some of the funny things people searched for in the past month to end up here on this silly blog.

Some searches are obvious, like "Daisyhalos," "blogspot," "Mormon," or " X-Weighted," but here's some original ones for this month:

"Cute Ways To Fold Undies." In case any of you missed it, it truly was a great tutorial (you can catch it here). I'm just sad that only two people find it important to ensure all panties are nicely placed into the underwear drawer. If anything, underwear are the closest thing to our..uh..hearts. Shouldn't we fold them with a little more reverence!?
"Hal and Joanne McLeod Divorce." Don't think I started that nasty rumour. That would be a sad story if it were true. I mean, whose marriage can't survive the mantra of "keep fit, and have fun"? Body Break is NOT a break-UP, people! And, Joanne would be the DUMBEST woman on the planet to divorce a man with such a stellar 'stache! Hey, Hal, if it's true that you're single... CALL ME! *wink wink*

PS- were they ever even married?
"Is the Word Whoa A Proper Word". Seriously, Feltcher, it totally is. The spellcheck accepts it, so that's sayin' something. And, besides, it was on TV, so its superly gotsta be a real word cuz everything on TV is true! *cough* And, for a frikkle-head to search on google for that and ultimatively click on a BLOG-linky, you needa go back to school. Cuz, CLEARLY, blogs are the be-all and end-all of Good Wordisms. And punctuationisms. And gooder English. Other real words not to be left out: bestest, recockulous, and buttmunch.

Whoa. I think I hurt my head on those last few. Whoa.
"What is a Hermaphrodite Technically Called?" "Hermaphrodite Love 8" "Blue Power Ranger Hermaphrodite" I don't even want to comment on this one. I'm scared. Please, if you're looking for ANYTHING of this sort, you're on the wrong blog. The title of THIS POST was just a joke. And Blue Power Ranger Hermaphrodites???? WHAT THE??!?!
"What is a Divortion" I still love this word, courtesy of Babbling Brooke. But the true definition of Divortion doesn't exist. There's no such word. Maybe divortion is only for those people who want to be unmarried AND lose their responsibilities as a parent?
"How Many Calories In A Burger From Peters' Drive-In" WHO CARES?! Just eat the mofo! And stuff the ginormous amount of french fries they give you in your mouth, too, before anyone sees! (ooooh, Ginormous... hey, dumbdumb from number 3, FYI: ginormous is ALSO a word.) And, if you're gonna do a trip to Peters', do it right: get a Tiger-flavoured milkshake. MMMMM. There's no calories in milkshakes on Thursday. Like there's no calories in *Chocolate on Wednesday, in tacos on Tuesday or in *Candy on Fridays.

*yes, as the link says, these are always capitalized!
"Peloop" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SERIOUSLY!?!! That comes from THIS POST, and frankly, that's just hilarious that someone was SEARCHING for that product! Good luck on that. Let us know how it went!
"Definition of Exacerbated". This is only funny to me because it wasn't me who said it-- it was an Anonymous commenter on THIS entry. But, for ease of clickage, the proper definition of exacerbated is:

to make more intense or sharp; aggravate (disease, pain, annoyance, etc.)
to exasperate; annoy; irritate; embitter

So, there you have it. Things that brought some of you here. :) Hopefully you managed to find what you were looking for, and then some, while you've read along since! And if not, I'm sure we'll have some gooders next month. So stay tuned. And yes, gooders is ALSO a word! :)

Yay Or Nay- June edition

2009-06-23T00:01:00.002-06:00

Yay for having a house so clean that I end up with not much to do during the day.
Nay for being bored because of that.
Yay for having more time to practice the piano or write in my paper journal.
Nay for lacking the energy to do either of those and forcing myself to anyways.

Yay for having hardly any toys for the kids to make a mess with.
Nay for not having enough things to keep them entertained without reverting to destroying freshly painted walls with markers.
Yay that the only things that have touched the walls were grimy fingers, in spite of my new phrase, "touch the walls and I'll put you in a permanent Time-Out". Maybe the fact that they STILL touched the walls is a Nay, but it coulda been worse! Yay that last week I threw any markers I found in the garbage.

Yay for school almost over-- two days and counting down.
Yay for no more school lunches. Or uniform issues ("my only other shirt is dirty". "I don't want to wear this one", "Where are some black socks!!!???")

Yay for having an open house this weekend and bringing possibly more buyers into the home.
Nay that only 3% of houses bought are ever bought because of an open house. Yay that I bought my first house at an open house, so, there's hope.

Not Me Monday- Catch Up

2009-06-22T00:01:00.000-06:00

So, I am NOT playing catch-up on all your blogs this week. Last week, I swear, I was a hermit. Totally secluded in my basement, or surrounded by paint cans, I felt sooo out of the loop regarding facebook and blogging and *gasp* even talking on the phone with my sistas, whom I usually talk to fairly often. I am NOT looking forward to a 'regular' week.

I am NOT happy the painting is done and looking FANTASTIC. It was NOT cute to watch Will in his element, and I did NOT learn anything about how to paint properly. Last time my house was painted, the people who 'helped' paint also did NOT manage to paint the carpet!!! I was super happy about that. So, when Will's employee spilled a tray of paint on my carpet again this past week, it was NOT nice that I knew Will could get it out no problem. Which he did. Which is NOT awesome. It was also NOT cute when Will taught Bear to paint too!
The kids' school did NOT have a stampede breakfast on Friday morning, where Will joined me and the kids (and his sister and her kids, since they also attend that school) and we did NOT enjoy a short break from the WORK back at my house. Will did NOT attract all the cute girls! ;)I did NOT have a good time spending Saturday morning with some of my favourite girlfriends at a baby shower. I also did NOT enjoy walking through the mall after with Sin. We also did NOT enjoy the fact that we are the same size and weight, so only ONE of us has to go into the change room! Everyone needs a friend like that. It does NOT double my closet/shoe accessibility.

I then did NOT drive out to be with Will and his children. I did NOT have a great 24 hours with them. I did NOT play cards with the kids while Will taught one to drive, and did NOT have a nice talk with his mother. We did NOT all cuddle and watch a movie, and I did NOT fall asleep in Will's arms. I did NOT enjoy singing with his father, too, and did NOT enjoy watching some old home-movies of the kids when they were babies. They were NOT cute! It was NOT hard to watch Will's taping of his ex-wife, seeing through the camera how much he loved her and not feeling the pain of that myself. Not because I was threatened, but because I did NOT feel sorry that their marriage didn't work, although it worked out in my favour in the end-- divorce sucks, no matter what. It may not make sense to others, but it was sad. Even though it's good for me! In spite of that sadness, I am NOT thankful for the rain in our lives that has made us who we are.
Yesterday was NOT Father's Day, and I loved being with such a great father. Will's children are a complete joy, and as their Dad, he has done something right. It makes me happy to have him around my kids, knowing that his influence will only be a positive one. I am NOT truly blessed to be surrounded by many great Fathers.

This is Why I Love Him

2009-06-21T00:02:00.000-06:00

Will was in one room painting, and I was in another, behind the closed door. Stuck in that room, trying to get off the stupid stickers my daughter plastered behind there, I see this slide under the door I've barricaded myself behind:

(like my paint-edit? It said his real name, but "Always Will" is so cute in and of itself! :) )

How can I not love this man?

Six Word Saturday- Selling

2009-06-20T00:01:00.000-06:00

It's Saturday, time to play Six Word Saturday, where you describe your week in six words only. So, without further adieu:

Isn't selling a house so fun!?

Listed. Cleaned. Painted.

And the first showing happened yesterday. Hopefully things go well, the house stays clean, and someone wants to pay OVER asking price. Am I right or am I right?!?! ;)

For more Six Word Saturday, check out Cate's blog at Show My Face com

Our House, In The Middle Of The Street

2009-06-19T06:46:00.004-06:00

One House For Sale

Features:

Fresh paint applied by one hot painter
Slightly moist basement with new plumbing
EXCELLENT cul-de-sac location with incredible neighbours
Place where one baby was brought home from the hospital
One HORRID week spent on landscaping...including 15 extra PALETTES of sod the sod company miscounted
Carpet is cleaned and well-worn---Five children potty trained.
7 children taught how to walk and do stairs
Safe neighbourhood-- Many tough nights awake in the past year ensured nothing happened in the middle of the night either
Innumerable amount of house guests added to the joy, as well as one Uncle Kannie in the basement for over a year
One or two kitchen disasters while cooking
Great place for memories!

Not included: Pot rack, Uncle Kannie, three mischievous children, and the super-hot painter.

Will Tends to My Plumbing!

2009-06-18T06:33:00.005-06:00

I only have a few ~~brain cells~~ minutes to update today, while paint and the flooded basement dry.

Yes. you read that right.

I had a pipe burst in the basement the other day, so yesterday was spent cleaning up the basement. How lucky am I that I had BARELY finished cleaning everything up down there-- there wasn't much to get ruined by the water. Apparently, when I turned on the outside sprinkler, and couldn't figure out why there was no water pressure-- yah. It's because the ~~putonincorrectlybyamoron~~ broken pipe was busy making a pool in the basement.

When dayhome kid came up to me with a soaking wet butt FROM THE OUTSIDE, and the kids tell me she got into the 'poison' in the basement, I didn't even get concerned. Seeing as I knew there WASN'T poison in the basement. Bear said it was just water.

So, I'm expecting to clean up a water bottle they opened.

Uh. Or not.

So, I freaked out, knowing that my realtor is arriving TODAY to list my house.

Yesterday, I called the plumbers. Will drove up in the middle of the night to ~~make me feel better and give me a hug~~ help. So, when the plumber arrived, and told me it would cost me another 300+ bucks to fix (which, you know...like that movie where Demi Moore is naked (uh? I have NO idea which one it is, cuz ~~she's naked in EVERY movie~~I've never seen it), I'm just ROLLING in that kind of 'spare' cash) I was SUPER grateful when Will convinced the plumber to teach him what to do. The plumber left after giving me a free home inspection, and Will and I were off to fix it ourselves.

Things to fix all the other junk around here? Check.
Pipe to fix the other, burst one? 20 bucks
Paint? 50 bucks
Someone incredibly handy and sexy who saved the day? PRICELESS!

Will fixed my pipes-- for 20 bucks at Home Depot and a half-hour lesson from the plumber. The basement is drying. He is now half-way through painting the house. My deck is pressure-washed and ready for stain. We were up far too late last night painting, so I'm SOOO ready for a nap. But, uh. You should see this place-- I won't be sleeping.

So. Blogging will be sporadic for a bit while I spend as much time as possible getting everything cleaned and ready.

ug.
joys.

Tuesday Tunes- Scattered Thoughts

2009-06-16T00:05:00.002-06:00

I'm totally random right now. Fair warning.

Finding a theme to the posts lately?! Being BOTH divorced, now we can say what we want and not care about who reads what, so I'm loving the freedom of that. And, so, because of that, you're all getting my pent-up mushy-ness. Trust me, there's LOTS to go around! ;) And, "too bad, my blog!" ;)

Yesterday I just smiled at random times at the memory of the weekend. Being with Will. It MAY have been because I'm sporting a ring on my left fourth-finger from him and so everytime I looked at my hand, I thought about him and laughed. Our little matching rings makes for some fun comments, seeing as Will's father and Chris both asked if congratulations were in order. yah. Uh. Cuz we'd get engaged with plastic. lol it's a mood ring. lol Makes me giggle.

Soooo loving a 'clean' house, even if it's because I have to move. It's so freeing to have everything minimized, aromatized, alphabetized, organized and ... uh... uh... caramelized? The carpets came out pretty well, and for family night last night I put the kids to work and got the windows/mirrors, door handles, light switches and bathrooms cleaned. The family that cleans together...um...
yah. nothing clever rhymes with CLEANS. nevermind.

Mimi's having some separation anxiety, and every night cries for Daddy. I don't know why. Maybe she's too tired lately because she's been avoiding/weening off her afternoon nap, and it's her way of 'releasing' her daily stress? Whatever the reason, it's kinda sad, and I can't say anything other than "Daddy's not here, he's at his house." And, being the good mom that I am, I bribe her to shut up by letting her stay up until midnight with cookies and sugarpops in bed. Forget this "I want Daddy" crap: Mom is SOOOO gonna win her over.

Note to self: Self, when one of your contacts feels wrong and MAY have a tear in it, don't try to be so frugal as to wait until the next day to replace it. When you don't find dirt on it, and it's not bent or in backwards, odds are good that it's time to open a new one. And, for goodness sake, DO NOT try to be a martyr and keep the darned, painful thing IN YOUR EYE for the whole day. Your eye is crying for a reason. Because, if it COULD, your cornea would tell you that the whole entire next day, your eye is going to hurt like a mother!

I got the funniest sunburn that's totally hurting. I wore shorts while I was helping Will paint the hotel again this past Saturday, and the backs of my knees got burnt, but the rest of my legs (calves, everything) is pale-white still! What the? One HALF of the back of my neck got burnt too, but only in a palm-sized spot. It's very odd.

And it's Tuesday, so I'm tuning you today into five of my newer fave songs.

The Arms Of A Woman - Amos Lee
My sister, Keeks (Kiki) introduced me to this guy. I'm totally in love, and have downloaded a bunch of his other songs. Check out Southern Girl, Colours, and Careless... a bunch of my other faves.

The Luckiest- Ben Folds Five
I know. It's not new. But I have this song on a permanent repeat while I clean these past few days.

Goodbye- Kristinia
Allison got me on this one. So fun. So "me" last year. What a great work-out or, in my case, scrub-the-floor song. Scrubbing the floor IS working out, I'm pretty sure. So is blogging. And, uh.. napping. Yah. Total workout. It's been researched somewhere, I'm sure.

You Could Be Happy- Snow Patrol
Just a good song. It calms me, the way the tune goes. I guess it's kinda a sad song, but I still like it.

Closer- Joshua Radin
I love his stuff. "I take the blue ones every time". BEST LINE! Blue mood ring = romantic or in love. :) I know that's not what he's talking about. But whatever.

Why Love is Indescribable

2009-06-15T00:01:00.000-06:00

Saying that you love someone romantically for the first time is never a small deal.

Maybe you shouldn't love them? Perchance you feel it's too early to love them. Likely, you've said it one too many times when you didn't mean it, and you worry about doing that again. But, when you really discover that you love someone, you probably knew it a while before. You DID love them even then, but admitting it out loud to ANYONE just wasn't 'safe'. Even to yourself. You tried to convince yourself that you didn't... but you knew better.

Saying that you love someone romantically for the first time, after being divorced is one hundred times MORE never a small deal.

You're hurt. You're scared that THIS love will be as fleeting, perhaps, as the love you said goodbye to with the bang of the judge's gavel. You worry that maybe you can't love ever as much as the last time. That your broken heart is too flawed to love again. That your judgement didn't exactly work out in your favour last time, so why trust it now?

Hearing for the first time that you are loved is scary and ethereal and euphoric and terrifying. Hearing for the first time that you are loved, after divorcing, is one hundred times MORE scary than anything else. Shocking. Exciting. Engulfing . Validating.

****************

We knew we loved each other before it was said on either side. Just something you could just.. know. It. just. was. And that made it beautiful. And scary. SO scary. It was too early, it was intimidating-- "what if I love them, and they don't love me back? How can I handle that AGAIN after my last love died so similarly?!"

I remember sitting on the couch, cuddling with kids, and I felt perfect. Felt like I was where I needed to be, right at that moment. Soooo many times before that, I had wanted to tell him I loved him. I'd open my mouth, yet, stopped myself; I didn't say it. It wasn't the right time, and although I was sure I knew I did love him, I didn't want to say it then.

A few days passed, and we were in a phone conversation, where we were kinda discussing how we weren't allowed to say that we loved each other because we were worried about the timing of it all. Frustrated, Will decided to call it a night.

Will: Well, it's getting late and I'm tired.
Me: Yah, me too.
Will: Okay. Well, goodnight then. And just so you know, I do love you. OkayIgottago,goodnight!

*pause*
Me: uh. WHAT?! *smiles, butterflies and shock take over.*
Will: Yah. uh. Talk to you tomorrow, kay?
Me: *giggles* okay. Goodnight.

I smiled all night. He loved me. I knew he did, but saying it was different. And hearing it was rapturous.

Another day, a few weeks later. Another phone conversation.

Will: *finishing a conversation about something totally banal, when I cut him off:*
Me: I love you.
Will: *pause* Just like that, eh?
Me: Yah. Just like that!
*pause*- I start kinda worrying that I've wierded him out.

Will: Well, it's about freaking time!!! *laugh*

I hung up the phone that night, expecting to regret saying it. But instead, I just wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Only one other time in my life had saying "I love you" for the first time ever made it into my memory. And I had said it more than twice, believe me. This, though, this was... perfect. It was awesome and sensational and if it culminates me ever falling in love again (here's hoping I don't have to) I'm happy knowing that it could be this incredible.

Six Word Saturday- Good Will

2009-06-13T23:19:00.004-06:00

(I'm late, barely making the cutoff, but here's the Six Word Saturday from Cate's blog. Check her out on the button on the right.)

Been Busy! Technically, it's still Saturday!

What a week. So much cleaning got done, so I was SOOOO grateful for Becka's offer to drive me out to Will's neck of the woods for the weekend without the kids. I got the carpets cleaned last night, which is PERFECT because they're drying WITH NO ONE IN THE HOUSE TO WRECK THEM AGAIN!!!!

At least for another 24 hours. shhhhhh.

So, I'm here with Will. Painting. Going for walks. Eating icecream. Checking out abandoned, cool farmhouses. Swimming in MINUS DEGREE water! (okay, so it wasn't THAT cold, but I lost my ~~nipples~~ breath once I jumped in!) You know-- just the general I'MTOTALLYINLOVE things people do. :)

Isn't It Amazing?

2009-06-11T07:30:00.007-06:00

Isnt' it AMAZING what you can find in a basement that hasn't been 100% cleaned in 5 years?

Isn't it ~~excessive~~ amazing how much stuff you forgot you had and realized you haven't NEEDED, USED, or even WANTED in 5 years?

Isn't it ~~disturbing~~ amazing what kind of crap can be left on the curb AFTER a basement guttage, and even more ~~disheartening~~ amazing that I still have two floors of the house to gut? Specifically, the bedrooms and toyroom of broken McDonald Happy meal toys. Ug. I loathe those.

It will be ~~unlikely~~ amazing if the garbage truck takes it all and saves me from a trip to the dump! *edit- The garbage man was obviously in a cranky mood and did NOT take the stuff. BOO. Now I have to clean my van of all the garbage inside it in order to have enough room to stuff it full of MORE garbage and take it to the dump! Where's the logic in that?!

Isn't it ~~overwhelming~~ amazing how, other than the basement, the rest of my house looks DISGUSTING-- boxes of stuff everywhere: one pile for goodwill, one pile of Chris' junk, one pile of stuff for the 8GVs to sort through...

Isn't it ~~depressing~~ amazing how much laundry accrues when you're busy for 3 straight days in a basement?

Wednesday Ws and Word Verification Wednesday

2009-06-10T08:00:00.003-06:00

Who: The Master of The House
What: Has a master plan
Where: The master bedroom, the basement, the kids' bedrooms, the overgrown gardens
When: allllllll week
Why: because the house is being sold. For sure. And masterfully skilled me gets to get the place all spic-and-span before next week, when I plan to list it. That's cleaning carpet. That's painting/mudding/sanding/fixing/washing walls. That's the .....*eeek* basement. ORRR the Garage!! So, if I'm MIA, you'll find me ~~crying~~ curled in a ball trying to avoid ~~the kids~~ too many ~~mightie Mouses...ew~~ spiders and cobwebs. Cleaning the masterful mess. Don't make me clean. You won't like me when I'm cleaning!

Who: YOU!
What: are invited to play along
Where: Down below, in the comment section
When: This morning, this afternoon, this evening-- whenever!
Why: it's Word Verification Wednesday, thanks to Jillene. So, play as many times as you like!

The Night It All Began

2009-06-09T00:01:00.005-06:00

I had bought crabs for dinner. You know: those live things that have yucky eyes that bulge out at you and pinchie fingerie thingies. And, apparently, they needed to be killed humanely before they died a slow death in the plastic bag the Stupidstore lady put them in. Sheesh. SO not my idea!But, Chris wasn't around. And I had to kill them myself. And it was getting late. Time was running out!!!!

Uh. This is not a fish. I can kill and clean fish. This was a crab. Still alive. Blowing bubbles out it's mouth while it suffocates slowly in the bag. This was a cranky crab. ("crabby" crab just seemed too easy) Ready to kill me and my sleeping children. With all his crabby friends. The Crab Mafia!

So, I did what a regular person does. I cried.

And then, in laughable tears at myself, I called my girl. My girl who is more afraid of killing crabs than *I* am. But I knew that, if she at least came over, she'd cheer me on through the tears, and the laughter would make the horrid experience worth it.

So, Sin tells me that her brother is at her house for the night, and he can come over to help.

uh, okay. Whatever makes me NOT have to kill them. Bring over PETA, for all I care! Really, party at my house. Watch Debbi cry. Kill some crabs. Good times.

This is "hot-brother-Roll-On-Floor-Laughing" from the ONE picture on Facebook I had ever seen of him. And believe you me, according to what *I* saw, he was NOT 'hot'. Sin had told me a million times how hot he was, (in a not-creepy-for-your-sister-to-say type of way), but frankly, these pictures were NOT verifying her statement. See?

And then they arrived at my door.

Seriously, you could feel it. Where "it" equals "chemistry".

He WAS hot brother. He was fun, and we started talking and joking just like we knew each other for years. Which was weird, cuz I didn't know a THING about him, other than, like me, he was also recently separated.

Sin and I couldn't go near the box of plastic-encased, bubble-blowing crabs. We were stuck, holding each other in that nervous laughter/near tears way, curled in little balls, on the couch in the other room adjacent to the kitchen. Will walked over, all manly, to kill the killer crabs and save the day. Grabbed one. Stuck the knife deep in its belly.And then. The crab *grabbed the knife with its claw and tried to pull it out!*. NO WORD OF A LIE. Will literally SCREAMED LIKE A GIRL, jumped away, and ran towards Sin and I with a look of sheer terror on his "manly" face.

Now, that "Roll-On-Floor-Laughing" part?! Yah. Sin and I literally DID! We were laughing soooo hard at poor, terrified Will's girlie scream. And he was sitting on my couch, curled in a ball, just like the two of us!

Eventually, Mightie Crab died. And Will was business as usual- getting back to the crab cull. But, he was getting crab-o-death juices EVERYwhere. (ew) So, I grabbed an apron, and, being the ~~flirt~~ nice person that I am, I put it on him because his hands were all gross.

And so, there it is; The day Will took my crabs into his own hands and saved the day.

And the rest, as they say, just friggen ROCKED.

Perfect, Except For That Last Part

2009-06-08T00:01:00.000-06:00

mmmmmm.

I am in just *bliss* right now.

Being done with everything marital on both our sides, Will and I can FINALLY feel like a new chapter is ALLOWED to begin. So, we're planning our wedding for September 11th, seeing as someone told us that was a day we needed to look forward to!

*he he, hey, if the shoe fits. Thanks for the idea.*

We decided to skip the painting and cleaning. Instead, we played and loved. Although we woke up to THIS, so my original plans to go hiking had to be altered a bit... no outside stuff.

We went to the pet store, something both our kids love doing, so it was an easy family-date to decide on. Of course, the incessant 'mommy, can we get one' got on my nerves, but watching Grace and LL try to connive their way into sharing ownership of a ~~glorified "Mighty",~~ hamster (read: Nasty Mouse-wannabe) was fairly entertaining! Those two are sometimes just peas in a pod.

There's nothing like having 9 people file out of ONE vehicle, ESPECIALLY when there's two parents and a bunch of blond mini-mes. We always raise a few eyebrows. We overtook that already crowded pet store for a good two hours. I even made friends. Anyone want to donate only $1288 to my 'let-my-friend-come-home-with-me' fund?! ;)

(my "friend" looked JUST like this)

We bought a few movies. Shopped for some 'make it fast' dinner, and had a YUMMY supper together. I LOVE having my table full. It's a huge table, but with our clan, there's not ONE extra spot. It's perfect.

A bit of bunny-chasing for 4 of them. They attempted to catch one of the stupid rabbits that are ALWAYS in my yard, and, surprisingly, they almost did. I gave Will permission to kill anything he could catch. Stupid bunnies. Even my NEIGHBOURS were cheering them on! (proof it's not just me that has a hate-on for these bunnies)

Dessert, and bedtime for the monkeys-a-la-ME. Settled the older monkeys-a-la-Will in for the movie and bed.

Then, Will and I went out to CELEBRATE.
It was a perfect, cloudless night, and the moon was full.

So we parked.
Yep. Like I was 17 again.
Went out to a new area of town, where there's only a handful of houses already built, and I drove Will's truck to the end of an unfinished street, turned the truck to look at the moon, and we sat in that truck for HOURS!

In fact, just to make it 'authentic' parking, the police pulled up to us. Shined a light into the cab for a good 5 minutes. Which is when they probably noticed that we were FACING each other, on opposite sides of the truck, ~~making wedding plans~~ talking. The cop walked up to me (in the driver's side) and when I opened the window, the cop just laughed, and noticed we weren't teenagers, and said, "oh! Just checking. We've had a bit of break-ins around here." (don't start me on my dirty-thinking around THAT one! lol) They suggested we move elsewhere. I SOOO felt 17 again! Although, this time ~~I was clothed~~ I was in the driver's seat, being good.

The rest of the night was spent cuddling and laughing while listening to CBC radio, which, if you didn't know, has QUITE ~~mind-numbing, strange~~ entertaining poetry readings. "You are NOT paying attention!" And, yes, it was spent un-gramma-fying us. (Fade to Black, that's all I'm writing! ;) )

Sunday is always my FAVOURITE part of being with Will. This is probably because having someone sit beside me in church isn't something I take for granted. Having someone beside me who would take the sacrament. Holding hands during a prayer I know he's listening to. Someone who'll sing along to the church movie in the van on the way there. Someone who's inspired to tell his children things, advises his children lovingly, and then finds out that the entire Sacrament meeting is about that exact same thing. Someone who's in tune enough to recognize that prompting, and knows where it comes from. Someone who'll read scriptures with me. Who will discuss what we learned *sitting side-by-side* in Sunday School. Someone my bishop knows. Someone half of my WARD knows! :) Someone who wants to be there just as much as I do. And wants to sit beside me forever. "Do you think, when we're married in three months, that you'll sit beside me for the rest of our lives, just like this?" *inner giggle "yes dear." Yep, he wants me! :D

We went home, where I had made a big, early dinner. (roast, mashed potatoes, gravy, broccoli, cheese sauce, spinach salad, corn, buns) It smelt so good, we could smell it OUTSIDE of the house when we drove up! With ~~soon-to-be family~~ Sin and Vegan, Babbling Brook and Taylor, we filled that kitchen table PAST capacity, and that small roast went PERFECTLY with everything else. SOOO yummy.

A nap later. A cuddle with the kids. A stolen kiss (or twenty) from Will in the pantry.

And then they had to leave. :(

Hugs all around.
I hate that part. But the smell of Will on his shirt beside me while I sleep usually ties me over for the week.

Until Friday, and *bliss* starts all over again.

oh, and yah, the wedding part. Uh, it's a joke, sillies.

Six Word Saturday-Whoa

2009-06-06T00:01:00.008-06:00

What else could possibly happen next?!

Remember yesterday's post? Remember how it was Divorce Day for Will? Remember how, in the comment section, Sarah was sure there'd be no problems? Remember how everyone said they'd be celebrating in their own ways?

Yah.
Divorce didn't go through.

Why am I not surprised.

Another 90 days (september 11th). That is, if Sarah does the filing in Washington. I'm looking into how to help Will file here in Canada, maybe it'll work out better. There's ways.

Finding the silver lining. WHY is every decision being made FOR me lately!? grrr. Needless to say, the celebrations and "un-gramma-fying" me are on hold.

What a week! I'm soooo ready and deserving to sit here with Will and our seven kids, and enjoy my Saturday. Oh, wait. I'm moving. So we're not gonna 'sit'. We're going to paint and clean. Nothing like that kind of fun on your weekend, hey!? ;)

Join Cate (and her button above) while she punches a few people in the face, and start your own Six Word Saturday. You'll like it!

Sincerely yours,
GRAMMA! >:(

PS: just kidding.

I wrote the above portion of this post yesterday afternoon.

Then Sarah posted an entry on her blog, saying she was finally divorced.
So, she's either lying on the blog to the entire world, or lying to Will. Either way, she's lying. This is on top of the fraudulent charges to Will's credit card in the past month or two, which we're pressing charges about. Sarah, I don't deal with that kind of (im)maturity. Go away.

Will is officially divorced. Sarah, for some unknown reason, decided to play some stupid game and texted Will saying that the divorce didn't go through, which is when I wrote the part above. Will was, understandably, upset. So I called Sarah, to find out what happened. She didn't answer, so I left a message. Instead, she texted Will back to say that she got the message but wasn't 'in the mood to talk right now'. Understandably to me, and according to what she wrote in my comments yesterday, she was probably upset too.

When I called my lawyer to see if the divorce in Canada would be faster, he said that there was something 'fishy' about her reasons she gave. (Will being Canadian, and her being from the USA-- yah, cuz that's something the judge has NEVER seen happen before???) You see, my lawyer knows USA law, because he got his education from a USA school. Told me to call the courthouse personally.

I call the courthouse, and jump through the phone-hoops to get to the clerk. When I give her the case number and Sarah's name, she confirmed I had the right information and asked what I wanted.

We're just trying to figure out why the case wasn't upheld. Unfortunately, I can't get a hold of Sarah to get answers directly from her. She says she's too upset to talk right now. Why didn't it go through?

Why didn't the divorce go through? Um, Let me go talk to the clerk who was in the courtroom for that case.
*****pause, on hold****
The case was approved. The divorce is final.

HUH!? He's divorced?

Yes. I don't know why she said that, but the case is done.

Are you sure? it's final final?? Like, is there a waiting period? In Canada, there's still a 31 day holding period after the judge signs.

Nope. They're done. It's over. In a few days he can go online and get the documents himself.

For sure? They're divorced?!?!

*laughs* yes. DONE. He can go online in a few days and he'll see his copy of the papers. Normally she would be in charge of sending those papers to him herself, but I take it because of what she told you, she probably won't do that.

No, I'd think not.

Is this normal behaviour for her?

Uh... well... trying to be nice here, but they ARE getting divorced for a reason.

HAHA, yah, I guess so! Oh, well, congratulations. If you have further questions, just call again.

THANK YOU!!!

????? Is it just me, or does this confuse people? Sarah, if you wonder why you're 29 years old and divorced now for the FOURTH time?!?!? yah. See above.

.

Free Willy

2009-06-05T05:20:00.005-06:00

WILL IS DIVORCED!!!!

As of 1:30 p.m. today, the judge should be signing the papers and it's finished.

I'm not quite sure how that works, seeing as the USA does it different than Canada.

Washington (where the divorce is getting granted) state has a no-fault clause, so the divorce is a simple "apply, wait 90 days, be done" kinda thing... At least, that's what we gathered from reading the forms and websites the other day. He doesn't have to go to the courthouse, so, this is all assuming that his ex (who filed the papers) didn't accidentally miss something in the forms (not likely, she's also done this before) and that she shows up at the judgement. Again, not sure what happens if she doesn't... but whatever. We'll worry about that if we come to it (cuz I think having more to worry about will be FUN!).

But, as far as we know,
Today is the day. He and his kids might be heading here tonight for a celebration of sorts. ;) Or, you know, a cuddle and a movie on my couch. Potatoe potahtoe. I'll be sure to try to post a few pictures.

And you know that 'gramma' thing? Yah. That was only to be good while he was married! He'd better take the evening off... if you knowwhatImean! ;)

Sucky

2009-06-04T07:07:00.005-06:00

yep yep.

Yesterday rocked. And by rocked, I mean sucked rocks. And by sucked rocks, I mean, please let me just sleep a looong looong time and make it all disappear. I contemplated taking a sleeping pill last night left over from when I heard about Chris and EF, but ~~I ran out of those~~... ~~I fell asleep before I was able to get it swallowed~~ .. I'm too smart for that.

It was nice having a 4 minute visit with my parents and my future SIL, Nellie. Mamma bringed me some lilacs from her house, which was AWESOME... although, my Ikebana skills were NOT up to par. And by not up to par, I mean ROYAL SUCKAGE. Are we finding a trend here?! To think I spent a year in Japan taking Flower Arranging courses. You wouldn't know it after such a slaughtered bunch of flowers appeared on my kitchen table. Hey. Just be blind. Then you'll smell the gloriousness of them without having to view the massacre. Deal with it.

Yep. Then the day realllllly began. The dayhome child was cranky. And by cranky, I mean her Dad was home with a severe flu and it's likely she's coming down with it too. Oh, and she hasn't pooped for 3 days. Constipated children are a joy! I absolutely LOVE whining at a monotone. ALL. FREAKING. DAY. Moreso, I'm excited for today's reaction to the prunes, raisins, juice and fibre her mother and I are forcing down her throat. That's gonna make it a GREAT day.

But bestest of all.
I got to talk with a few Realtors. I got to talk with a bank Account Manager. I got to talk with Chris about the equity in the home.

Here's my dilemma.
One, Chris has a chunk of money of equity in this home. The number is based on what the house COULD have sold at when he moved out last year.. Uh, we've all seen the great and wonderful housing market lately, have we not? And by great and wonderful, I mean TOTALLY sucky. And by housing market, I mean, not even cardboard boxes are selling!
With this, and him not having a job, he has NO money. Which means he has to move in with his parents. 6 hours+ away. Which means my kids won't see their Dad more than once every few months. Which goes against what he and I wanted for our kids. All that 'make them feel secure with this'... down the drain.

So, I have to give him his equity in order to have him stay around. And by giving him his equity-- yah, suckity suck suck, I have to sell my house.
Besides, he isn't paying child support anymore, so I can't afford to KEEP my house. But once he gets his equity, he pays child support again, and I can pay my mortgage. Only-- yah. Are you following--- I had to sell in order for him to pay me for that mortgage. Catch 22 on that one or WHAT?!

Sooooo, instead, *I* move. I sell my home that I love. From the area I love. From the ward, and the community, and the school, and the security that I love. I move 2 hours away (where there is CHEAP houses. And by cheap, I mean that in ALL ways...) to keep the kids nearer to their father than the 6 hours it may be otherwise.

THANKFULLY, we're looking for the ~~shotgun~~ silver lining around here. Chris could get a job today. I could win the lottery ~~I didn't buy a ticket for~~. And unicorns could fly out my butt.

I will be closer to family. My sister is VERY excited about being 'neighbours' again. We used to live 5 minutes away from each other, and our kids loved that. We did too-- constant sitters, shopping buddies, instant "I'm out of blank, do you have" availabilities... really, what else could you need than a sister who lives close to you!? I'll be closer to my parents too.
I always wanted my kids to live near a temple. Although Calgary is getting a temple in the future, it will be far away from us now, and it will not be seen on a daily basis.
I will be free and clear of owing Chris money. We will be "done" even more. At that point, there is no more connection than the kids.
I will OWN my own house. Houses down south are cheap in price, and most of them need some serious ~~demolishing~~ fixing up. But I'm dating a handy guy. And I'm not ALL snobby. I GUESS I can settle for laminate counter tops again, although *shudder* I will REALLLLLLLY miss my granite and my $15 Mocha Latte chapstick. And how is Fifi going to get her pup-icure every afternoon while I take my tennis lesson at the club?
This is all part of my yearly "motto" to "Make The Change". Security is soo overrated.
Wind isn't that bad, right? It's ~~horrific~~ FUN to have snow up to your armpits in May. And who doesn't love living in a town where everyone knows your business before even YOU do, everyone is related to a Beazer or a Leavitt, and no one knows their actual address.."I bought the Clarke's gramma's brother's cousin-in-law's house." "When you get to the store on the corner, go up a block (or TWENTY!) and I'm that house with the ~~rusty...delapitated..~~green truck and the flowers in the front." And you guys think I'm joking. I'M SO NOT!
I will be closer to Will. You know. As a side bonus! ;) In case. You know. He needs ~~nookie~~ sugar. *he he he From a gramma! :(

And...discuss.

2009-06-03T08:19:00.004-06:00

There's a delicate balance I need to figure out, so I'm opening up the floor to you wiser peoples for your opinions.

How much of your OLD relationship do you bring into a new one?

How much is inevitable? Do bad habits ALWAYS stay, no matter how hard you try? If you're bound and determined to change them, don't you kinda always have to have them on your mind? And are some things just impossible, as hard as you try, to change about yourself? Engrained into your soul, part of you? How much SHOULD you bring in?

How much does the NEW person need to know?

Like, do you start AGAIN, clean slate, and it doesn't matter what happened in the past? Or what others thought. Or what happened before you came along? What was said? What went wrong? What was done? Do you need to know their previous story about their past relationship to know if you can handle that in the future? Do you need BOTH sides of the story?

Are you better off knowing? or is ignorance really bliss? Does ones past always foretell the future?

*it's Wednesday. Don't forget word verification!!!*

Letters from the Employer

2009-06-02T08:26:00.004-06:00

Dear Mr. Will,

Your presence at this weekend's conference was greatly appreciated. It is always nice to be with you and your company. You are doing a fantastic job of keeping the southern division running smoothly (Haha, don't even think it, you dirty-minded people-- I'm CLEARLY talking about his geographical location!) and we appreciate your hospitality to our delegate we sent your way this weekend. We are currently investigating our need for someone of your calibre up here in our division. If you are thinking of relocating, I'm sure we can accommodate your needs. I would be nothing less than happy to have you working with our team up here, and I'm willing to negotiate terms of your contract, should you feel that our division is more suited to your liking.
Please don't hesitate to call, I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
The BOSS!

Dear Mr. Economy,

I would sincerely appreciate it if you got off your lazy butt and did something productive around here. Your inability to get a move-on is, quite frankly, a little tiresome and overplayed by now. You have a job to do, and the rest of us are busy working ourselves to the bone to fix your asinine issues.

Your lack of commitment around this office has negatively affected others in your absence. Our CFO in charge of Adolescent Affairs is in need of future revenue, and our company is in need of further increase in order to keep our business in this location.

If you wouldn't mind getting back to work here at the office, that would be a good move to make on your part. Unfortunately, should you decide NOT to pick up a bit of the slack you've created, the terms of our employment agreement state that there is nothing I can do about it. So this is my proverbial flippage of the bird in your direction.

Indignantly,
CEO, CFO, CAO, COO, CSO

Dear Mr. Energy,

We look forward to your return to our location in the near future. We trust that your extended leave was well-spent, and assure you that there is much to do to remedy your absence. Our bottom line does not look as promising as it did before you left, and we are eagerly anticipating your expert attention to those issues.

We understand that your return from your sabbatical is possibly temporary through the summer months, as it usually is, and trust that you will be able to achieve our needed goals before your winter hiatus again.

Thank you in advance for your enthusiasm throughout the coming months.

Yours,
Mrs. Stella Corpulent

Not Me Monday- Waterton

2009-06-01T07:34:00.005-06:00

Alright peeps, it's Monday again. Time for Not Me Monday. hosted by someone, but I can't remember who started it seeing as so many other bloggers do it and we're all clearly sheep! :) So yay to whomever started Not Me Monday.

This weekend was NOT beautiful-- I love summerish weather.

Friday we did NOT celebrate LL's 8th birthday here at the house. 8th birthdays are big in the LDS faith-- it's the age when the child can decide to get baptised or not. She won't be getting baptised until later in the summer, and we'll have a bigger 'party' with family and friends at that point. But for now, we did the whole pizza/cake thing at the house. I did NOT invite Chris's girlfriend, Kay, to join us, and we met for the first time. It was NOT a nice visit, and she is NOT a lovely girl. I am NOT happy to have met her and her two children.

After saying goodbye to my monkeys, I did NOT drive down to Lethbridge where I did NOT hang with my brother and parents for the night. I did NOT need that. I miss Uncle Kannie, so I made him sing with me while I played the piano. Him and his girlface sang along- my piano skills are SLOWLY improving, so I enjoy playing for him to get more practice. It may also help that my mother has a baby grand, and who wouldn't want to play on it!? Visiting with my parents and having their undivided attention is rare in a family of 9 kids, so I was grateful for the LATE hours they spent with me, in spite of their need for sleep. (old people. Sheesh! ;) )

I then did NOT sleep in the basement, where it's like a cocoon... dark, and SILENT. I did NOT freak out when I woke up the next morning at 11!!!!!! I was supposed to be out helping Will paint the Prince of Wales Hotel an hour away... and I hadn't eaten or dressed, and wasn't even showered yet! OUCH. As I'm contemplating my time to get there vs. the shower, I skip breakfast all together, dress, and rush out the door. The good thing is that Will and I are NOT being good and keeping our physical relationship down to holding hands or kissing like 'gramma', so me not showering is a good reason for him to have to stay a safe distance away from me! lol But I tell ya, if he called me gramma one more time... somebody gonna get a hurt real bad! I swear, I was getting a saggy-boob complex!

I did not rush to Waterton, where...*hangs head in shame* I did NOT get a speeding ticket. I SOOOOOOO can not afford a ticket right now, so I was totally unimpressed! And the cop was hot, and yet, I still couldn't get out of that one! Saggy boob complex exponentially increased! (haha, kidding. mostly)

After arriving in Waterton, I did NOT enjoy painting with Will. He is NOT talented at what he does, and didn't even get angry with me when I messed up his paint job like, a bagillion times. You know he loves me when I can mess up so brutally! It was fun on the lift, way up high. But man, it was windy!

A few hours later, we went back to town, showered the paint out of my eyes and the stink off the rest of me, changed, dropped in at a wedding reception, and then headed out to Lethbridge again for some Japanese dinner. I do NOT enjoy doing that as it totally brings me back to my days in Japan. Then we did NOT have a visit with my parents again, and I did NOT receive advice, support, and a blessing from my father. My parents do NOT give good advice, and it was NOT wonderful.

Sunday was church. I don't know how, but I TOTALLY did NOT gimp-up my knee one night last week, and walking in heels SUCKED! And, lemme just add, that walking in flats is not an option--- I LOVE heels. And these ones are way cute, so NO, I would *not* be wearing anything else. It's painful being this beautiful, but I guess I'll suffer! ;P

Sunday afternoon after a yummy fish dinner, we did NOT go with Will's parents (and niece) to Waterton again for a picnic and some pictures.

Seeing Will was NOT exactly what I needed to get out of my funk from last week. It fills my 'love tank', and I always hate driving away. And, he'll be busy painting again for the next weekend or five, and I'm poor.. so who knows when we'll see each other again. Long distance does NOT suck.

six word saturday- Anniversary

2009-05-30T00:27:00.001-06:00

One Year (Tomorrow) I've Lived Alone.

(for more Six Word Saturday, visit the link of Cate's on my sidebar)

I love looking back on this past year of living on my own since Chris left. SOOO many lessons and changes, feelings, experiences and friendships along the way. Just reading past entries from that time in my life, and I can't help but shake my head at where I was and where I've come to since then. It was a HUGE change in my life, and I'm SO grateful for it in so many ways. It was tough, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I've been so blessed. I can't wait for more milestones and moments in this coming year.

I'm only 54% cool

2009-05-29T01:03:00.002-06:00

Directions - Italic/star the ones you've done & post on your blog!

1. *Started your own blog (ah, no, I started someone else's and they happen to be EXACTLY like me, so I pretend to use theirs!!)
2. *Slept under the stars
3. *Played in a band (Elementary School isn't that cool, though. French horn and Drums. Not at the same time. THAT woulda been cool!)
4. Visited Hawaii
5. *Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. *Performed in Disneyland (With my baton corps a few times, and once I was picked out of the crowd to be in a part of the parade)
8. *Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. *Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch (I'm working on the guitar)
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. *Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. *Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. *Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. *Built a snow fort
25. *Held a lamb
26. *Gone skinny dipping (shhhh, my parents read this blog!)
27. Run a Marathon (don't start me on this one)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. *Seen a total eclipse (Mimi gives me a full-moon every night!)
30. *Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. *Hit a home run
32. *Been on a cruise (I don't know if it REALLY counts, but we had a dry-grad cruise overnight on our 'prom' night around the Vancouver Harbours)
33. *Seen Niagara Falls in person (many times. It's awesome)
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (uh, my ancestors are Canadian for a really long time, though, so I could KINDA say yes to this one!)
35. Seen an Amish community (nope, but a Hudderite and Menonite one)
36. Taught yourself a new language (taught myself how to read one of the Japanese alphabets, if that counts)
37. *Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. *Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. *Sung karaoke (in Japan, at that! Doesn't get more authentic!)
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. *Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. *Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. *Been transported in an ambulance (more than once, neither time was 'an emergency'.)
47. *Had your portrait painted (done horribly in Quebec city.)
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. *Kissed in the rain
53. *Played in the mud
54. *Gone to a drive-in theater
55. *Been in a movie or on a TV show
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. *Started a business
58. *Had an encounter with a wild animal (do rabid rabbits and 'wild' mice count?!)
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. *Sold Girl Scout Cookies (girl GUIDE cookies, but yah)
62. Gone whale watching
63. *Got flowers for no reason
64. *Donated blood, platelets, or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. *Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. *Saved a favourite childhood toy (my children still play with them)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. *Eaten Caviar
72. *Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. *Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. *Broken a bone
78. *Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. *Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. *Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. *Killed and prepared an animal for eating (fish. Not that adventurous)
88. *Had chickenpox
89. *Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. *Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. *Lost a loved one
94. *Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. *Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. *Been involved in a law suit (car accident isn't really a law suit, though.)
98. *Owned a cell phone
99. *Been stung by a bee
100. *Taken a martial arts class

Still Laughing

2009-05-28T01:47:00.000-06:00

Okay.... Shut. The. Front. Door.

This is hilarious. I guess it's been a while since I've watched TV, and maybe this is sooo old news. I don't care. I just 'found' it last night. But honestly people, if you didn't want to laugh, you definitely don't want to watch this! Ellen cracks me up. But in case you're not an Ellen fan, you can still find the humour in THIS too!

Yes, I'm still self-medicating with humour. It's not fixing the..uh..urge I mentioned sometime last week or so... but at least it makes me laugh at myself. Or others. Cuz, laughing at others is WAY more fun. Clearly. And I know there's quite a few of you readers who are also having harder days lately, and maybe, just maybe, you'll smile with me.

I know, I know, these posts, as my friend informed me yesterday, are boring. Well, what I REALLY want to blog about, I can't. And what I DON'T want to blog about, I still can't. So, frankly, until I figure my stuff out or find alternate blog fodder, we get humour.

And, it only took me all night to find this commercial, but does anyone else remember this? I loved it as a child. I don't know WHY. Watching it now is almost scary. But it brings me back and makes me happy. :)

Watch This!

2009-05-27T05:16:00.000-06:00

The best way to beat a crappy mood? Talk with friends. Take a long rollerblade. Have a shower where NO ONE is bugging you. And, when all else fails, try these:

There is nothing more heartwarmingly charming and cute than this. In 60 years, I want you to find me at my retirement home-- and make sure that me and my super-cute husband are THIS in love and THIS full of fun! *YOU MUST CLICK!*

Now this is totally awesome. Sometimes, it takes someone like this to break stereotypes. When the band teacher asked this kid what instrument he wanted to play, I'd venture to guess that THIS wasn't the answer he expected to get! I'll bet this dude was beaten up in elementary school. *clickage*

And, seriously, this guy's mouth. TALENTED! Watch the whole 2 minute thing, cuz, SERIOUSLY, each time I think he's reached his 'abilities', he does something new and I sit here going, "Whoa".
*Click heeeeeeeere*

I Get Up On The Same Side of the Bed Everyday, So What Gives?

2009-05-25T14:00:00.003-06:00

I'm cranky.

At first, I thought it was because I was tired. I was up late all weekend (long-distance relationships require a lot of phone time, running a luminary run and hanging with sisters and girlfriends, long drives in cars through BORING-country) but after taking naps and having easy work-days, I realize it's not because I'm sleepy.

Emotional stresses make me cranky too. Dealing with a snappy Ex-husband is annoying. Dealing with kids AFTER Dad's weekend is tough too. Yes, I may get a weekend to myself, but I pay for it all week. Careful what you wish for.

Maybe I'll take a blog-break. Until I'm more fun and happy.

I May Not Be American

2009-05-25T07:43:00.005-06:00

Yes, it's Memorial Day in the USA. And, no, I'm not American.

But, I figure that a post about this weekend is in line with the whole 'remembering lost loved ones', seeing as that's what I did.

Saturday I drove out to Edmonton with my sister and nephew. Driving up there, might I just say, is NOT fun. I would rather drive to Lethbridge, which is pretty much the same distance (a tiny bit less) than up to Edmonchuck. Really. Something about that drive is BORING!

We stopped in Red Deer, where my big brother is buried. I've never driven to the cemetery, so I had NO idea how to get there. But my sister had, once or twice, and so we went PURELY off her 'spidey senses'. She claimed she could feel it in her 'guts'. gross. people shouldn't feel the way to a cemetery in their guts. Amazingly, she was exactly right. We got to the cemetery, and she was so excited to see it! "There it is!! Dead ahead!!". I gave her the 'har har' look, and she realized what she had said.Graveyards are pretty cool to genealogists like us. We looked at other people's epitaphs, at their birth and death dates, speculated over who was buried beside whom, (of course, made fun of those less fortunate whose names sounded funny!) and took a few more pictures. Found a few tombstones of people that may or may not be in my family line (the Barber side), so I'll be looking those up today online. FUN!

Off to Edmonton, where we joined up with Kiki and Ken and my BFF MC, and went to the Relay For Life. There was a luminary 5K run in my cousin's name, so we were happy to go support my family and remember him. We also remembered other family members that were affected by cancer. There were deeply moving moments where I choked back a tear or two, but it was a SUPER experience, and one I would HIGHLY recommend. Next year, I plan to join the relay part.

Six Word Saturday- a few to chew on

2009-05-23T00:18:00.000-06:00

Running for Cancer. Hoping for Cures. Other than spending time with family whom I seldom get to visit with, I get to also see one of my bestest girls. And I get to run for cancer whilst remembering family members who are missed. Yay for me, I have a new iPod, so I'll have my tunes too!
Masticating on elephants, morsel by morsel. I'm not letting my 'peace' go. I know how to get what I need and want, and I know that, when I need to, I'll know what path to follow.
Missing my profusely attractive, hand-holding inamorato. First weekend in a while I don't get to see Will. :( that sucks. Just in case you wanted to know what I think about that. ;)
House is a mess. Don't care. Besides, maybe, if I have to sell it and move into a cardboard box because of Chris' no-job sichee-ayshun, I could sell the house with ~~grimy hand prints~~ 'custom artwork' and ~~moldy diapers~~ 'one-of-a-kind aromatherapy'. Or burn it. Yah. That'll be better for EVERYONE involved!

How Do You Eat An Elephant?

2009-05-22T07:28:00.000-06:00

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
~Ben Stein

I find it interesting that I had those two dreams the other night, before being faced with a few choices the next day (or two) later.

Right now, I feel like there's two distinct choices in my path. I guess, technically, there's more than two, but I don't really like to entertain any of the others. Two choices I can live happily with. Two choices that get me to my goal in the long run.

How do you pick between two choices where neither of them are exactly what you wanted? They're both GOOD choices, not being better than the other. If both choices get you to the end result, but in a different path altogether and seemingly not too different of a time-period, but both have aspects that don't appeal to you, what do you choose?

And, when other things (like Chris losing his job) happen in the background, is Someone trying to show me a path I don't recognize? Is it coincidental that I've had the same Sunday School class THREE times (which, NEVER happens) in the past month? What is the message Someone is trying to get through to me? Or, how I don't EVER remember my dreams, and then I'm given these two dreams on one night RIGHT before a few things change my perception of 'future'?

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, right? So, I'm taking things one step at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time. I would believe the easy answer is to ask God in prayer and follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. But in all honesty, I believe that this HAS been asked. And that I've gotten to the point where Heavenly Father wants me to use my agency. To make a decision based on what others know, on what my Bishop councils and on what will eventually make me happiest in the end. I believe that neither choice will disappoint Him.

I will be getting a blessing. Some things shouldn't be left to my determinations.

I Dreamed a Dream

2009-05-21T05:30:00.002-06:00

I don't know why I held my passport in my hand. No bags. Just a passport. I knew I was in a rush to get somewhere.. not a panicked rush, but that time was of the essence.
As I'm heading down the long halls of the airport, I go through a set of glass doors to another set of glass doors, and end up in a room. All glass doors and latches- lots and lots of them. But I can't figure out where the door is-- all the walls look the same and I can't find the right door. When I find a door, it's locked. And the next one. And the next one. And that one looks like a door, but it's just another glass wall. There's someone on the other side of the door- a female, a family member...my mother or sister. Waiting, but not impatiently. They know I'll figure out how to get out.

**************

Somehow I'm in a race. Like an Olympic race, but not. And the sport is like a marathon with tobogganing... or, like, an Iditarod! I have my toboggan in my hand, (which, oddly, changes from a crazy carpet to an old-fashioned wooden and sturdy type) and everyone else in the race has gone on way ahead of me. I know they're up there, but I'm not worried about coming in last. I'll get there. I walk up the hill, following the footprints of the people gone on. At the top of the hill, still carrying the toboggan, I start to walk down. Silly me realizes I can SLIDE down the hill, like MOST people would. So I hop on the toboggan and descend. I wasn't going too FAST down the hill, and it was easy since the tracks from everyone else were there. But, near the bottom of the hill, the tracks aren't as easy to follow. There's three distinct directions people went in. No one is around (no guides, no markers) to ask for help. I can tell from the path on the left that not many people went that way, and it is obvious from their footprints that they kinda walked around in circles, avoiding trees and tall shrubs and getting stuck. The path on the right is a bit more travelled. I knew this one was a shortcut. But there were a lot of footprints again, an indication I knew to be of an incorrect, cheaters path. Then, AFTER seeing these two paths, I see the path straight in the middle. The hard-packed snow of previous toboganners, and it was smooth from their tracks. No footprints. It was the longer way, but it was the right way.